


Snuff

by xiiis16



Category: Union J (Band)
Genre: Blood, Bullying, Character Death, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drugs, Explicit Language, Homophobia, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Content, Smut, Underage - Freeform, Violence, there's basically a lot of shady stuff happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:35:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 76,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1204681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiiis16/pseuds/xiiis16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>« So if you love me let me go and run away before I know. My heart is just too dark to care and I- I can't destroy what isn't there.<br/>Deliver me into my fate; If I'm alone I cannot hate. I don't deserve to have you.<br/>Oh, my smile was taken long ago. If you still care...</p><p>don't ever let me know » - Snuff, Slipknot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)  
> So, I was recently invaded with a lot of Gosh feelings and well, I decided to take Snuff, correct some stuff (nothing major, if you read it before, the story is still the same), and post it here as well, like I promised a while ago.  
> I'll be posting one chapter a week - or two or three, or more if ya'll would like, I'm here to please you ^-^ 
> 
> Enjoy, sweeties :)

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Josh has always been a wanderer. He never stuck too long anywhere, because Josh doesn’t get used to places – to people. He grew up practically alone in the middle of his parents’ wealth. He used to be the typical rich boy – he even went to a boarding school in France for most of his school years.  But his life was so empty, so shallow.

His family wanted him to become a doctor or a successful business man like his father or something just as fancy and that; but no one ever asked Josh if he wanted any of those things. He felt out of place in his house, in his clothes, in his own skin. And no one ever noticed because that’s Josh. He never shows his feelings, even if they’re killing him on the inside. People never noticed how repressed he felt and in a deep corner of his mind that stung a little more every day.

He tried to connect with his family as hard as he could but his parents became strangers to him and he didn’t bother with friends. Why would he? Those people were some traitorous little rats that didn’t miss the opportunity to step on their “ _friends_ ” if that meant more credit for them.

People always disappointed him. First they come, they enter your life gain your trust slowly and then stab you in the back, or simply walk away from you with no apparent reason like you’re that insignificant in their life. Maybe he was; and that’s what he chose those people to be to him, too - insignificant.

He never graduated. One day during his junior year – after another yet again big disappointment on his parents – he just grabbed his bag and walked out of that stupid place. He didn’t have where to go, but it didn’t matter, because anything was better than what he was living.

And in the very first night he spent on the streets, he felt so relieved; it was like all the strings constricting his movements were being cut, and he didn’t have a curfew to follow, a certain gown to wear to be in some stupid dinner or ball and he could just do what he wanted; it was honestly the most alive he ever felt. Like his soul was slowly learning to breathe again.

For months he traveled through France with nothing. He never stuck too long in a certain place; he got small jobs which didn’t pay much, but were more than enough to eat and sleep somewhere and get the hell out of that place, to the next one.

As he grew up, he felt better, but acted worse. Somewhere along the way, bad habits came in the way and with it, bad actions.

After a while he had quite a reputation for getting in fights, for being too involved in the world of drugs and drug dealing, he was hurting people really bad too and the way he looked in itself was… tale telling.  He was gorgeous - all sharp angles, strong jaw, high cheek bones, striking blue eyes, toned body - and so dangerous. Those elements, the ink tinting his skin, the black leather jacket, the soft stubble on his chin, the hair, constantly – stylishly –ruffled by the helmet of his black shiny motorcycle were what gave him away. He had the girls swooning at his feet wherever he passed by. Usually, that was one of the reasons for most of the fights. Because behind a pretty girl there was always a dumb Neanderthal thinking he owned he place and got the right to be with the girl. Well, him and his friends, of course.

It was so exhausting sometimes. All he wanted was a drink and a place to stay for a while. But then, there he was, getting the bedroom eyes from some stupid bitch,  having the whole troop surrounding him, which ended with some of them knocked out in the tables without half of their teeth and the other half limping their way out before the cops that the owner of the bar called when the whole thing started, arrived.

The most tiring part though, was that he wasn’t even interested in those girls. They were all so shallow, so young, so empty and without any kind of quality of interest for Josh.

They were all the same and Josh didn’t bother loosing time with them.

Sometimes, though, he did find someone of interest; someone a bit like him. They were normally older than him, because Josh didn’t lose time with kids; girls clung to him, wanted to run away with him like in some romantic fantasy of theirs.

What Josh wanted was a woman who, like him, knew what she wanted and took it; no promises, no compromise, no feelings, just sex.

Once he got involved with a drug lord’s wife, a woman named Megan and she was the closest thing Josh ever had to a reason to stay. What they had was intense and his youth – he was only 21 – consumed her, made her feel alive. She was near 40, married for 20 years with Josh’s newest _business partner_ with whom she had a 16 year old daughter who was lusting after Josh.

The girl was pretty just like her mother, but she didn’t have the fire Megan had. Josh would know – he took her virginity.

That was the longest he ever stayed in the same place and he only left when he found himself looking down the end of a gun’s barrel. But somehow it was him who almost killed someone that day. Rage was never a major problem for him – pride was a bigger one – but that one time, it took Megan’s screams to keep him from snapping the bastard’s neck, his stupid gun long lost all the way across the floor.

After that he found himself deciding to go back to England. It was the first time in almost 6 years but somehow he was craving it. France had nothing new to offer and Josh wanted to go. He didn’t stick around; he never did.

He found himself crossing the English Channel and back in his country in no time. It was a weird feeling, being back in England. It wasn’t really home – not really, he didn’t have one – but it felt like finding something he lost a long time ago, something he didn’t quite remember having but still brought a sensation of nostalgia with it. It was strange but not bad at all.

He didn’t want to go to London; not just yet. He knew his parents were living there – supposedly – and seeing them again was the last thing he wanted. So he wandered around for a bit.

Because that’s what Josh does; he has always been a wanderer and he never sticks anywhere for too long.

The first town he decided to stop at was a small town, south east of London. It wasn’t very busy or known for any specific motives, but every little town had their dirty little secrets, once the night settled in. Josh had heard of it, in Paris. He passed by Paris a considerate number of times, and there were people there he already knew. He didn’t call them friends – Josh had no friends - but they were the closest to it he had. They recommended the place to Josh, and gave him a few names to look for once he got there.

In this town there was a huge all boys boarding school that took almost every year approximately 1500 boys from 13 to 18 years old. Most of them came from other places of England and it turned out that the preppy boys from all boys boarding schools were also very active buyers of illegal substances. Josh had smirked at himself, well, if their lives are half as shitty as his used to be, it does make sense.

He directed himself to a pub, looking for someone to ask directions from.

It was nearly 4pm, and so, it was practically empty, safe from a couple of old men sitting at the bar, a quartet playing cards in the back and the pub’s staff. When he got in, all eyes landed on him, curiosity on them – and something else, Josh knew his aspect was kind of shady – but they didn’t move or said anything.

Helmet in hand, he neared the bar, sitting on one of the stools. It had really been a few hours sense the last time he stopped.

A boy, who appeared to be nearly his age, approached him.

“What can I get you?” he asked in a low, neutral voice.

“A beer,” he answered, “and some information.”

The boy’s brow furrowed for an instant but he attended Josh’s request nonetheless, sliding the bottle in his direction.

“Alright, what do you need to know?” the boy exhaled, cloth thrown over his right shoulder.

“I’m looking for someone. I was told he could find me a temporary place to sleep,” Josh said, examining the boy’s actions; he was probably older than him, but not much older. In fact none of the staff seemed to be older than him.

“So, you’re staying here?”

“It’s temporary. I need to find a guy named Hensley,” he told him. The boy’s eyebrows shoot up for a moment. “Jaymi Hensley,” Josh added.

“I may know him,” the boy said, “depends on who’s asking.”

Josh squared his shoulders a little bit, looking the boy straight in the eyes. “A man named Bertrand told me to find him.”

The boy smiled then, and after a moment he outstretched his hand towards Josh. “You must be the Josh Cuthbert Tom told me about,” he said. “I’m Jaymi Hensley.”

Josh shook his hand, “Josh Cuthbert,” he said. And then he added, “I thought you’d be older. And working in different… business branches.”

Jaymi smirked, “when you live permanently in a place, a cover up it’s quite handy.” Josh sniggered at that, “that’s why I don’t bother anymore. Besides, this place is a fantastic stop for… _business_.” At that, Josh raised his eyebrow.

“Do you own this place?” Jaymi smiled at him nodding.

“It used to be my grandpa’s, hence the loyal customers,” he added nodding towards the old men. Josh looked around one more time; he bet none of those people would even dare looking at the front doors of this place if they knew what was going on here.

Josh looked back at Jaymi and asked “Is there anything else you own in this town?” at which Jaymi answered with a smile.

 

~

 

It turns out Jaymi is not only a very decent guy – well, given the circumstances – but also a very influent young man in this town too, if the amount of places he had something to do with was anything to go by. “My grandfather was just a very rich bastard,” he said when Josh brought the subject up. “He died a couple of years ago. We weren’t that close, but he was a great man, and I his only family left.”

They ended up in Jaymi’s flat – the one he was actually living in – after a quick glance around town. “You’ll have to stay in my spare room for a few days while I send someone to prepare another place for you,” Jaymi said, opening the front door and turning on the lights. “Sorry, man, I just wasn’t expecting you.”

“It’s alright,” Josh said, taking his surroundings in. It wasn’t anything too fancy that screamed that rich people lived there. In fact it was a super simple flat of two stories with a very small amount of divider walls – it was super open and light with brick walls and furniture made of white wood that had a kind of cozy weariness to it.

There was no wall to separate the kitchen from the living room and the kitchen in itself was just the bench top and an island with high stools all around it. There was no table though, so – Josh guessed – that was probably where he ate. The living room was also very simple with a sofa and a couple of bag beans around a coffee table and facing the television behind which were a set of huge, tall windows with their blinds halfway down.

As he entered the house and went from the small hall to the living room he turned around so he could see that the second story was practically a huge balcony right above the hall where he’d come from, with some doors which were probably the rooms. The spiral staircase was on his left, when he entered the front door.

It was very nice, indeed.

“So, to your right you have the kitchen, right in front of you is the living room – in case it isn’t obvious and the bathroom in that door at your left, right past the stairs,” he said, taking his jacket off and throwing it to one of the sofas, “come with me, I’ll show you your room.”

He climbed the stairs, not even pausing to check if Josh was following him. Upstairs in the balcony, it was easier to get a look over the whole living room and the tall windows that reached the second floor where the main source of illumination to the whole house. They were sealed though – Josh noticed – and even with the blinds halfway down, he could see through the cracks that they were facing a long green field, and in the distance a tall, large and old building rose. “That’s the Boarding School. I’m sure you’ve heard of it,” Jaymi said, when he noticed him looking.

“Yeah, I’ve heard those preppy boys are not was righteous as their parents might think,” Josh answered at which the other boy laughed.

He opened the door to one of the rooms, the last one, and signaled him to enter.

“So, this is it. It’s not any suite, sorry mate, but I guess it’ll have to do for a couple of days,” he said. Josh took a look around. It was definitely more than what he was used to, with a queen sized bed with two nightstands on each side, a desk, a wardrobe and even a TV.

“It’s good; don’t worry, man, its fine, really,” he said, turning to face him. “Thanks,” he added. The other boy smiled at him “No problem. Do you need help with the rest of your stuff?”

At that, Josh snorted, clutching the strap of the only backpack he owned.

“I think I can handle it, thanks.”

 

~

 

The first night Josh spends in town, he realizes two things. First, Jaymi really is a very, very important person, if not only for the fact that he’s the one behind the place where all the shit goes down. On the back of his pub, run a club; they were connected, but, obviously, the club only worked at night and the pub during the day.

The amount of people there was honestly astonishing, especially considering that it was a week day, and a lot of those people – boys, actually was wearing an equal dark blue blazer with the school symbol on their chest pocket.

It’s a plus sixteen club, but still, he doubted many of them even had sixteen at all. Not that it bothered him; he was here to make business.

That was the second thing he realized. The alley behind the club was where all the shit went down, and there was all sorts of sinister business going on there, not only drug dealing. The whole town was a bit like that – there was something extremely shady about it, but Josh couldn’t quite point out what yet.

The first two nights he hadn’t quite understood fully what was going on there; it was only three nights after, when a kid who was running out of the alley passed past him with his shirt open, belt undone and blazer in hand, followed a few minutes later by a man, a grown man in maybe his thirties leaving the alley too from the same spot as the kid, adjusting himself, that he realized with a bit of a shock what was going on there.

Those kids were probably not even sixteen yet… and they were _boys_. He’d seen a lot of fucked up things, but he could say for sure, _this_ was a first.

The whole thing threw Josh off his feet and he went back to the club, looking for Jaymi.

He found him near the bar – he wasn’t working, he was just monitoring the place, so to speak. There was a guy next to him and they were talking animatedly, with a sort of confidence and familiarity that told Josh that they were either very good friends, _or_ -

“Josh!” Jaymi called looking beyond the boy’s shoulder. “You haven’t met JJ, yet!” he said smiling at him, a glass of some sort of blue drink in one hand and the other grasping the boy’s – JJ’s - arm lightly. There was something about it that left Josh quite apprehensive. “Josh, this is JJ Hamblett,” he said turning the boy gently by his arm in his direction, “JJ, this is Josh Cuthbert”.

The boy gave him a small smile to which Josh responded with a nod, while shaking his hand. “JJ’s one of the best suppliers around here. Tell him what you need and he’ll get it for you,” Jaymi continued.

“Is that so…?” he turned to the boy, who shrugged.

“I guess I just have plenty of contacts – the right ones, that is,” Josh nodded.

“I could use a guy like you in my list of contacts,” Josh said. It was true. It was always good to have a supplier on speed dial when you’re in drug dealing – sometimes what he had with him was enough, other times not really, and waiting for one of his suppliers to get in contact was a waste of time and money.

JJ dragged his phone out with a smirk, handing over to Josh, who took it giving him his own phone too for him to dial his number. Meanwhile Jaymi had already finished his drink and was about to address the two boys when a guy came in between them, grabbing JJ’s jacket in a strong grip.

“You fucking bastard, do you have any idea the money I already lost because of you?” JJ just smiled while saying “It’s not my fault you can’t pay for what you order, mate,” with an undisturbed calmness.

 “I told you I was gonna pay back! I was waiting on my customers’ payment-!” the guy yelled at which JJ only laughed, forcing the guys’ hand out of his jacket.

“And again, it’s not my fault you’re too big of a pussy to even demand your money before they run away, right, Lenny?”

“You fucking stole my weed and left me with nothing to sell! Do you have any idea what my client almost did to me?!”

“Lenny, it’s not stealing when I’m just taking back what’s mine. You don’t pay, you don’t get the product. I gave you a fucking dead line,” JJ said, calmly.

“The guy almost killed me! He’s still threatening me and you’re the only one who can get me the fucking weed!” he said, pointing at a very recent scar in his neck.

JJ smirked at that, “too bad.”

The guy just seemed to get even more pissed off with JJ’s coolness, and was about to try to throw a punch at him when Jaymi grabbed his fist midair, saying, “Alright, I think that’s enough mate, get out of here.”

“This has nothing to do with you Hensley!” He said, struggling to take his fist back from Jaymi’s grasp, “this is between me and Hamblett!” He tore his hand from Jaymi’s grasp and drew a knife out of his pocket, bringing it to JJ’s throat.

 Josh’s brow furrowed when he noticed Jaymi sighing and rolling his eyes as if he was used to this kind of things. JJ didn’t even flinch.

“Alright, that’s it,” Jaymi exhaled, impatient, and drew a gun from somewhere in his jacket, pointing straight into the guy’s forehead. “I said,” he pulled its hammer back with his thumb, “get the fuck out of my club, Larson.”

And it was right there that Josh realized why people respected Jaymi so much. He had only seen the nicer side of Jaymi, but now, while he pointed that gun straight to that guy’s head, Josh could see a whole new side of him. There was a cold certainty in his actions, no such thing as a single drop of sweat on his forehead or tremble on his hand, and Josh knew that look in his eye – he would pull the trigger if he needed to, and he wouldn’t even think twice about it.

The people around were carefully getting out of their way, without dragging much attention – most of them didn’t even notice what was happening – and a bunch of security guards were ready to intervene if they had to.

The guy carefully removed the knife from JJ’s throat and backed away slowly, hands raised. JJ was watching him with an amused smirk on his face, while Jaymi was already signaling to his security guards to take the guy away.

“Fucking prick,” Jaymi commented.

“Yeah, I thought he’d learned his lesson last time he tried to mess with me,” at that Jaymi looked back at him, putting his gun back on his jacket.

“Oh, yeah, I heard he went after your little cousin,” Jaymi said. JJ only nodded, leaning back on the bar with his elbows supporting him. “How’s the kid going?”

“George’s fine, Greg and Dan were around and beat the shit out of that bastard before he could lay a finger on him,” JJ shrugged. “Explaining the kid what was going on was a bit more problematic, though.” Jaymi’s eyebrows rose at that.

“You told George what was going on?”

“Hang on a sec,” Josh interrupted, obviously confused with the whole story, “you have a little cousin here – who apparently goes around all alone - and people threaten him to get to you and now you told the kid all about how you’re into drug dealing?” he said, eyebrows raised.

Jaymi laughed at that and JJ was smiling at him too, “George is not really a little kid,” Jaymi explained, “he’s actually seventeen but he’s a city boy, he comes from London just to study here, in the boarding school, and JJ’s the only family he’s got around. The kid just doesn’t know about the shit that goes down around here.”

“And he doesn’t need to, either,” JJ added, turning to Jaymi, and then back at Josh. “I didn’t tell him, he doesn’t need to get involved in this, and as long as I can, I’m gonna keep the kid as far away from this whole shit as I can,” Jaymi was smiling at him.

“Aww look at you, JJ, all protective of your little cousin,” he said, and tried to ruffle JJ’s perfectly styled quiff before the boy backed out of his grasp with a smirk on his mouth.

“Well, it’s about time someone takes care of the kid, after all the shit he has been put through,” At that, Jaymi’s smiled turned to a more subtle but sincere one as he looked at him with a whole new fondness.

“And who better than you, right?” Jaymi said, and JJ looked at him, a matching smile on his lips while he said “Right,” and they stared into each other’s eyes for a few minutes in silence.

There was something about that smile and the tone of their voices and the whole scene that made Josh feel a bit odd, once again, like there was something more to those words than he was catching on; but after what he’d just witnessed outside, he wasn’t sure he could deal with any more freaky shit tonight.

This town was a fucked up place, all right, and Josh had witnessed some nasty shit in his past; he just wasn’t quite sure he could handle much more of this.

He wasn’t stupid, though, after what he saw outside, it was like a new light was shining upon the whole city and suddenly Josh could tell exactly what it was so shady about this whole town. And Jaymi and JJ’s behavior around each other was a bit tale telling itself. But he was choosing to ignore it all.

 

 ~

 

Two nights after that incident, it was almost four in the morning when Josh left the alley, money on his back pocket and cigarette on his lips, ready to be lite up. He was about to do it when something – someone – ran into him from his left side, knocking the cigarette and lighter out of his hands.

Josh was pissed off; Josh was extremely pissed off and tired after almost knocking a guy unconscious for trying to steal from him and that cigarette was supposed to calm him up; that cigarette was also the last one he had with him, and was now split in halves of the floor. Without thinking he yanked the other person from the ground, and they almost flew against the nearest wall with Josh’s strength combined with their lightness. For a moment he thought it might’ve been a girl, but the lack of screams told him it probably wasn’t. He didn’t really care; he felt like he could spank the shit out of them.

When he faced the other person, after closing in in their personal space, Josh met a pair of wide brown eyes, lips parted in a silence shout and hair ruffled hidden under a beanie that somehow managed to stay in his head.

“Who the fuck are you?” Josh almost shouted, mouth tense, looking at the boy with an intensity that combined with the whole thing left him gob smacked.

“I-I I was ju-,“he was breathless and squirming and his eyes kept shooting to his right, where he’d come from, as if he was waiting for something to came out of the shadows. “I’m sorry, I-,“

Josh tightened his grip on the boy’s collar.

“I asked you a question,” he said through gritted teeth, jaw tense.

“Please just let me go th- there’s these guys and they’re af-after me I’m sorry just let me go p- please!” the kid pleaded, a desperate look on his face. Josh raised his fist. His breath caught at that, “George!” the boy almost shouted, eyes squinted shut, as if waiting for the blow, “my name’s George Shelley please don’t hit me!”


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, what the hell, I'll just post daily :)

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

He spoke with such speed the words almost blended together.

Josh’s hand fell slowly to his side again and the kid opened his eyes reluctantly. Josh’s brow furrowed, “You’re JJ Hamblett’s little cousin?” he asked, giving the kid some space. The kid’s eyes widened almost comically at the mention of his cousin’s name, and he stumbled through words Josh couldn’t even understand, “Yo, kid, stop! Breathe, for fuck’s sake," he said, "I can’t understand shit you’re saying!”

The kid’s – George’s breathing was getting faster and faster and for a moment Josh thought he might be having an attack of some sort. "I said, please don’t tell him I’m here, I’m not even supposed to be out of school and if he finds out I’m screwed!” he pleaded and then added as an afterthought,“Oh, God, I’m so screwed already and it’s so late," while looking again to his left with a kind of fear in his eyes.

"Who were you running from?” Josh asked even though he had a pretty good idea already.

George looked at him, straight in the eyes and had to struggle to find the words again to talk, "there’s this guy, he came after me the other day and I don’t really know why, JJ says it’s just one of his bar ruffles – he gets into those a lot – and the guy was just being an asshole and trying to mess with him or something, I don’t know, it didn’t make much sense then and now it makes even less sense because he sent two other guys after me and I don’t know what I did, I just saw a knife and I ran away and they were chasing me," the kid said, his voice shaking, "I don’t know what to do, I can’t tell JJ, if he knows I’m here he’ll kill me himself!”

Well, it really wasn’t Josh’s problem but somehow leaving the kid alone in the streets right now felt like kicking a lost, scared, and hurt puppy and even though he ignored it most of the times he still had a conscience – and besides, it was like a favor he was doing JJ and Jaymi, right?

He heard footsteps coming from the direction the kid had come running and with an impatient groan he grabbed the kid’s denim jacket by the front and dragged a very surprised George back into the darkness of the alley he had just came out of throwing him against the wall, behind a dumpster. George’s back hit the wall and he let a protest noise escape his lips complaining about the force Josh had used.

"Now, shut up,” he whispered and was about to turn his back on him and leave him to go check on the other two men when he saw a guy looking at them – actually, looking at the kid like he was some kind of meal. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he mumbled; was every single nut job in this town not only high but also too much into teenage boys?

That seemed to alarm George, “what?” and he followed Josh’s eyes to find a man smoking something that smelled funny, looking at them rather weirdly from a few feet away. He could also see silhouettes further into the alley but he didn’t stare for long. "What it is?” Josh could almost feel the fear in George’s voice and yet again felt obligated to do something about it. The last thing he wanted was being seen with a kid freaking out and screaming his lungs out in the alley where, well, all the shady shit was happening.

Josh moved using the few inches he had over George to block the kid’s view to the rest of the alley, “Nothing, kid, everything’s just," he paused taking a look over his shoulder to see the guy looking at them with a crazy smirk on his lips, “fine.” He almost spat the last word, tension building in his jaw again. “And look, what the hell are you even doing here so late, kid, don’t you school boys have curfew?” he said, trying to distract the kid from his surroundings.

“Ahm… yes, we do, but I snuck out,” he said looking at Josh with a kind of apologetic look. He snorted at that, “I came looking for my friend,” he whispered, “he said he was going out tonight but would be back before 2am, but he didn’t and I got worried,” George lowered his head mumbling the words to the floor.

Josh’s mouth opened slightly in disbelief. He furrowed his brow; was this kid serious right now? Who the fuck did that? Who the hell put themselves through some potentially very bad shit just to see if his reckless friend was alright? 

He shook his head as if trying to get rid of the stupidity of the simple thought. He had to get this kid back to school himself or he might end up dead somewhere in the way back.

"Alright, it doesn’t matter. I’m gonna get you back to school," he said. George’s head shot up.

“What? But, why? I haven’t even found Micky yet!” the kid said. Josh glanced around them to check if someone was looking at them with more interest than they should.

“Who’s Micky?” he asked grabbing the kid’s arm, dragging him back out of the alley.

“My friend!” George said, trying to escape from Josh’s grasp. Josh rolled his eyes.

“Well, don’t worry kid, your friend is fine,” Josh said, and the boy stopped squirming for once and started walking with Josh looking at him with a new found curiosity and even anxiety.

“How do you know that?” he asked, stopping when Josh let go of him, and realized he was facing a huge black motorcycle. Josh grabbed the helmet which was padlocked to the bike and handed it out to the kid.

“Because, if he wasn’t we’d probably already have found his dead body back in that alley.”

 

~

 

The fence that surrounded the school grounds was just a few meters away when Josh killed the engine of his motorcycle. The kid wasn’t moving thought and if it wasn’t from the strength he was holding on to Josh’s torso, he might think he had fall out of the bike.

He turned around to take a look at him, “hey kid, hop off, we’re here," he said. But the kid still didn’t let go. He slid up the kid's helmet’s visor to find a pair of very wide brown eyes, “hello?” he said, dragging the word a bit impatient.

"I’m sorry I just haven’t gained the feel in my legs and arms yet," he said, “you drive so fast,” he added, whispering. Josh pulled the motorcycle’s kickstand with his foot, using his weight to balance the bike on it with both of them still on it.

“Alright, come on, this is just ridiculous,” he took George’s arms off of him and hopped off the bike proceeding to take the helmet off his head and pull the boy out of the bike by his jacket carelessly while he tried to hold on to his beanie. When his feet met the ground, George felt his knees give out a bit, due to the odd vibrating feeling all over his legs.

His hand reached out to grip Josh’s arm to balance himself, pulling at his jacket as he did. Josh froze a wave of annoyance taking over him, tension building in his jaw and he had to close his eyes and take a deep breath to calm himself. This kid was absolutely ridiculous. How he managed to get out of the school and climb this huge fence up without getting caught or killed was beyond him.

“Can you at least try and not be caught?” at that, George seemed a bit offended.

“I’ve done it dozens of times before, and not a single soul knew about it," he argued, rising his nose a little bit resembling a stubborn toddler. How, Josh wondered, subtly nodding negatively. This kid wouldn’t last five minutes in the streets. For a moment he wondered how he could even be JJ’s family.

“You’re,” George started when Josh met his eyes, the kid started looking all around, everywhere but at him, "you’re JJ’s friend, right?”

Josh frowned at that, “I know your cousin, yeah, why?” he asked. All of the sudden the kid was getting all shy and for some reason the whole thing – the whole scenario started feeling wrong, the whole being here all alone with the kid in the middle of the night, dropping him off just like a-

“I meant it when I asked you to not tell him you saw me near Jaymi’s club, he’d... JJ’d go crazy if he knew I snuck out again and he doesn’t need more problems, so, please don’t tell him?” he said, finally meeting Josh’s gaze.

It really wasn’t his problem, Josh thought, but he also didn’t want the kid going around alone at night in those places. This kid was ridiculously innocent and naive, and those motherfuckers would probably tear the boy apart in seconds if they got their hands on him. It really wasn’t his problem, but there was something to this kid, just like a lost and hurt puppy – as much as you don’t like dogs, you just can’t ignore it and let him just go straight up to the middle of the street and wait for some car to run him over. And it was annoying. Annoying as fuck because he didn’t even really knew the kid.

“Alright, fine, I won’t say anything to him," George smiled then backing towards the fence.

“Thanks,” he said and turned around to start climbing the fence just as Josh hopped back on his bike, helmet in his hands.

“Also, I trust you’re smart enough to know to stay out of the streets at night from now on," Josh added in a neutral tone of voice. He turned his head towards Josh.

“Yeah, I guess. Thanks again,” he said. Josh had already started the engine, “Don’t mention it," and he slid the helmet’s visor back down again ready to take off.

Suddenly George remembered something, "wait,” he said releasing the fence to turn around after him, “You didn’t- I don’t know your name!” he shouted over the noise of the engine taking a few quick steps in his direction while holding the beanie in his head.

But the older boy had already taken off driving back to the club, disappearing in the darkness surrounding the road.

 

~

 

“Whoa easy there, cowboy,” Jaymi laughed, holding a very, very intoxicated JJ up while trying to find the keys to his flat somewhere in his pockets.

“I’m just having a momentary balance problem and you,” he stopped Jaymi’s hand from roaming in his pocket with one hand and sticking a finger on his chest as he let his body fall against the door to support his weigh, “you are taking advantage of me,” he whispered smiling.

Jaymi could see the haziness in his eyes; he was having a hard time trying to focus and the lazy smile on his lips only made it more obvious.

He was friends with JJ for a long time now and he’d already carried him home a few times after work when JJ wasn’t quite capable to walk all by himself. It happened rarely, he normally didn’t drink this much but tonight, for some reason, JJ had been on fire. When he was like this, he got flirty – Jaymi was already used to it – and teasing Jaymi was definitely JJ’s favorite thing to do, ever.

“I’d never do that to you, JJ. Only to those I want to bang and abandon," he said, taking his keys out of his jeans and opening the door while holding JJ.

“So, you’re saying you don’t want to bang me, is that it?” JJ said with a teasing smile as if daring him to agree with him or prove him wrong. Jaymi couldn’t help the smile from forming in his lips as he dragged JJ through his living room to the corridor.

“Don’t you already know the answer to that, love?” he said in a light tone, keeping it all playful. JJ laughed low in his throat letting Jaymi guide him to his own room in the complete darkness of the apartment. Even though the sun would rise in a few hours, all the blinds were shut; not even the street lights made it inside.

 “Yes, I know," he said the smile still present on his voice, “I’ve known it from the day you laid eyes on me.”

Jaymi laughed out loud at that. “Of course you have. I do a terrible job at hiding it too,” he said, joking. JJ snorted and made him stop turning slightly in his direction so that he could conveniently use the rest of his body weight to push Jaymi slowly against the wall. Jaymi let JJ guide him backwards until his back hit the wall and JJ’s whole body leaned on him; he buried his nose on Jaymi’s neck. “Yeah, you do,” JJ whispered laughing.

Jaymi smiled and put his arms around the other boy’s shoulders. They stayed like that for a while, “JJ, you need to sleep,” Jaymi finally said.

JJ whined at that, “I really don’t want to move,” he said pressing his body closer against Jaymi.

“But you have to,” he said, gently pushing JJ away, “come on, bed, right now,” he added.

The other boy moaned, “Oh, how I longed to hear those words leaving your lips, Jaymi," he said smiling, but letting Jaymi lead him to his bedroom. He laughed, opening the door and pulling JJ inside.

As he closed the door, JJ slowly approached the bed while trying not to trip in his own feet, but failing miserably. Jaymi managed to grab him somehow before he fell holding him close.

The lazy smile still hadn’t left JJ’s lips as Jaymi held him up, his arms around JJ’s torso; it only widened as he stared at him.

JJ bit his lip trying to contain his smile, “is this the part where you start to take all my clothes off?” he whispered gripping Jaymi’s shirt.

Jaymi smiled.

“Yes, JJ, this is exactly that part. Care to help?” he said.

“Don’t you want to do it yourself? Unwrap me like a present and come look for your reward?”

Jaymi stared at him eyebrows raised and mouth slightly open, but the smile still curling the corners of his lips. He shook his head, laughing, “Wow, you’re inspired tonight, aren’t you?” Jaymi said, taking JJ’s jacket off and tossing it towards the chair in the corner.

But JJ said nothing he just stared at Jaymi, motionless, the lazy smile on his lips the whole time as he followed Jaymi’s movements with his eyes.

After taking his shirt off, Jaymi proceeded to undo his belt and take it off its loops, then pushing JJ gently to sit on the bed while he took care of his shoes. JJ just watched him, doing what he asked him to. In the end he was left with only his jeans on.

“Now, lay back and sleep. I’m going to get you water and aspirin for the morning yeah?”

Later, when he was back with the bottle of water and the medicine, JJ was lying on his back, but he wasn’t sleeping; he was actually looking at Jaymi’s way watching him, smiling.

“Alright, I’m going now," Jaymi said, “call me if you need anything, yeah?”. The other boy nodded, and it was only when Jaymi was about to leave the door that he spoke again.

“Jaymi?” he called, and Jaymi could almost hear the teasing in his voice; he turned around, “are you sure you don’t want to bang me?” JJ said in a low voice, sleepiness already crawling in, his eyelids slightly closed and he was biting his lip, smiling.

Jaymi needed a moment to take the whole thing in; JJ in jeans only, sprawled in his bed, his normally perfectly styled hair ruffled already falling into his eyes, one hand on his stomach, the other behind his head, biting his lip and-

Jaymi has known JJ for a long time and ever since the day they first met they’ve had this at ease with each other, this confidence. All was so extremely easy between them, that this stupid little flirt thing was kind of a thing of them.

No one really understood how they were kidding and how they were not kidding at all.

“No, JJ, not tonight,” he said smiling at him. And JJ smiled right back and closed his eyes.

“Tomorrow, then?” he asked, whispering.

“Yeah,” Jaymi whispered back, “tomorrow.”

And he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/ask ;)


	3. Chapter 2

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

When his alarm clock went off George was already awake. In fact, he hadn’t even gone to sleep.

As soon as he made it inside the school again without any kind of problems, may it be add, and stepped inside his dorm, he saw with his heart dropping to his feet that Micky’s bed was unmade and empty.

Instantly worry set on his chest along with fear.

George couldn't help it, really; Micky was not only his roommate, but also the only friend he had in school; he knew a lot of people of course and he talked to them and said hello when he crossed them in the hallways, but Micky was the only one he trusted and _really talked_ to. Not only because they were in the same class and same dorm, but because Micky actually understood him; he knew why George was here, the problems he had at home with his parents, how he felt about the whole thing, where he _really_ wanted to be.

Micky knew all that about George just like George knew everything about Micky – they were best friends and Micky would never do this to George, he would never make him worry this much.

As he sat in his bed with the sun rising behind the blinds and his alarm clock signaling it was time to get ready to go the classes, he came to the conclusion that something must’ve gone extremely wrong. This wasn’t like Micky. Yes, he liked to go out with some of his old friends – Micky’s been in this school ever since he was 13 unlike George that only came this year – but he never ever spent the night out; he would never miss school.

He knew what the boy with the leather jacket had told him and he should probably believe him – he looked like the kind of guy who knew all about the bad news first hand, so, if something happened to Micky, he’d know, right?

But he couldn’t help himself. He had to find Micky.

 

~

 

As he went down the stairs in his pajamas’ bottom and barefoot, Josh could already hear Jaymi moving around in the kitchen.

“’Morning mate,” he greeted with a smile as soon as he saw Josh approaching. Well, that was a thing Josh just couldn’t understand – how could people be so joyful in the mornings – afternoons, whatever.

“’Morning,” he said back helping himself of one mug and going for the coffee cattle. Jaymi was already heading towards the living room, sitting in the sofa with the mug in one hand and the TV controller in the other.

“What time did you got here last night? I don’t think I heard you,” he commented. Josh shrugged, sitting on one of the stools.

“I have no idea, sometime around five, not sure,” he said. And Jaymi nodded, paying attention to the TV.

Josh remembered last night’s events and the kid. Damn that kid. For some reason completely unknown to him, Josh was still wondering if the kid found his friend. He really didn’t care, but if he hadn’t found his friend then maybe the kid would do something stupid like go back in the streets to look for him or something – haven’t these preppy boys heard of cell phones? – and get himself killed or worse and then JJ and Jaymi would freak out and Josh wouldn’t have a place to stay or product to sell.

Well, that’s not entirely true, he did, but building a certain level of trust with someone in his world was complicated and Jaymi and JJ were around his age – only a few more years older, but that didn’t matter – so it was easy for them to find this required level of trust. Blowing that shit up because of this kid and his _friendships_ just wasn’t worth it. 

“Hey, ahm, Jaymi?” the other boy made a noise of acknowledge without taking his eyes off of the television, “have you ever heard of a kid named Micky?”

Jaymi nodded, “Uhm, Micky?” he thought for a bit then, “yeah, I guess so, he’s always around Greg whenever he comes to the club,” he said. Then he turned at Josh, “why?”

“Nothing,” he said, “one of his mates was looking for the kid yesterday, I was just wondering if you saw him,” at that Jaymi laughed, still not taking his eyes off the television.

“Oh, I saw him, alright,” Jaymi said still laughing, “he was so deeply attached by the mouth to one guy that you couldn’t actually say where he ended and the other guy begun,” he continued.

 _Of course_. Of fucking course, because every single idiot in his town had some kind of thing for little preppy boys. This was getting ridiculous. Every single night he saw something that indicated that and they weren’t even subtle about it. It was rather disturbing.

His silence caught Jaymi’s attention, and he was now looking at him examining his expression, cautiously.

“I know you’re not," he hesitated, " _used_ to it. I can see the discomfort all over your face whenever you see something or when someone talks about it,” he said and Josh’s eyes snapped to lock with his. His expression was rather _understanding_. ”Small towns tend to surprise you in the most bizarre ways.”

“It doesn’t bother me. I’ve seen more fucked up shit than this,” Josh said breaking the eye contact and drinking his coffee instead.

“It’s not the same, though. People here just do whatever they want to, even though half of it it’s the drugs. You’re bothered by it, alright. But it doesn’t just happen with boys, you know? It’s the same with girls, they just don’t hang out in the same places we do,” he said standing up from his seat in the sofa, and going towards the sink to put down his mug.

“Half those kids are not even legal.”

“Yeah, I know, but I can guarantee you no one is there by force. If the kids want to be there, we can’t really do much about it, can we?” Jaymi said with a half-smile on his lips, as he returned to his seat facing Josh and forgetting all about the TV. “Don’t dwell about it; it’s not anything that freaky. Those boys are having sex with older guys because they want to. It’d be worse if they were paying the kids. That’d totally make it underage prostitution and it would be a pain in the ass to get rid of,” Jaymi said, and then stopped, thinking about his words furrowing his brow with a smile curving his lips, “pun not intended…?” he added thoughtfully.

Josh shook his head with a smile gracing his lips. And as they already opened the can of worms, he asked, “what's going on between you and JJ?” he said playing with his half full mug.

He wasn’t trying to intrude and it was super out of character for him to ask something so personal about people he worked with, but it was inevitable asking. He felt like he was walking on eggshells whenever he was with those two in the same room – which happened a lot – and it was really messing up with his business relationship with the two of them.

“Nothing,” Jaymi said, curiosity appearing in his eyes, “why do you ask?” at that Josh’s eyebrows rose, slightly incredulous.

“Seriously?” he said,“ You two have," he stopped to think on it, "I don’t know what, but it honestly throws me off of my feet, I don’t know how to deal with shit like that, mate,” he admitted.

“JJ and I are just friends. We’ve been for the longest time,” Jaymi said. When Josh’s expression didn’t change, he sighed, “look, we just tease each other a lot, but that’s it really, nothing more.”

“Alright,” Josh allowed, drinking the rest of the coffee. He really didn’t want to go any deeper into that conversation to be honest, and the less he knew about all that was going on that weren’t - quite literally - his business, the better.

At that moment Jaymi’s phone started ringing on the coffee table.

“That’s probably JJ,” he murmured, grabbing his phone. “Hey, how’s your head?” he said.

Josh grabbed his now empty mug and took it to the sink, trying very hard to not hear Jaymi’s conversation, but it was rather impossible with Jaymi so close.

“And when did he called you?” he was saying. “Well, his friend must be fine, if he weren’t I’d already heard of it,” he said the last words dragging slightly as if he was realizing something. And he probably was, Josh thought. Fuck. They were obviously talking about the kid – George, and Jaymi was probably already figuring out that the boy looking for him was probably George. Jaymi wasn’t stupid. “What’s the kid’s name?” he asked, and waited for the answer,” Mike? Or is it Micky?” he said, and Josh could hear JJ’s _yeah, that’s it!_ on the other side of the line.

Jaymi’s eyes flew to stare at Josh, “look, JJ, I’m going to call Greg to see if I can find the kid, yeah? Alright, I’ll call you right back, see ya,” and he hung up.  Well, this was going to be interesting.

“Why didn’t you tell me you found George wandering around my club yesterday?” Jaymi asked his brow furrowed. Josh sighed, there really was no point in trying to protect the kid now, was there?

“Because the kid was terrified that JJ would find him,” he answered simply.

“And he damn right should be. JJ would tear the kid’s skin off if he found him anywhere near that fucking street,” Jaymi said.

“I don’t get it, you know how dangerous this place is for that kid, but still you don’t send him home; why?” Josh wanted to know. It was a very valid question in his opinion. If he wasn’t safe here, now with all the threating and chasing going on, why hadn’t they sent the kid home back to his parents?

Jaymi looked at Josh then pondering about telling him or not. Eventually he made up his mind.

“It’s just that, well, George’s been through a lot of shit in his old school and even though here the threat is more real, at least he has someone to protect him – those kids back there were destroying the poor kid completely both mental and physical wise, and his parent didn’t even realize,” he paused. “JJ found out and he wanted to bring him here because at least in that school he can shield the kid, they have very strict policies and as long as he stays there, he’ll be completely safe. Nobody even knows he’s related to JJ, I don’t know how that fucker found that out.”

Well, that kind of made sense, Josh had to admit. But still, he was a teenage boy and in a couple of years he’ll be out of that school and in the real world. In here, there were no policies that could shield you forever.

He said nothing though, only nodding because he really didn’t want to go any further into this matter.

“Was that where you were last night?” Jaymi asked. Again, Josh nodded.

“I took the kid back to school,” he murmured, standing up from the stool ready to go back upstairs and get dressed – he had _stuff_ to do. At that, Jaymi smiled.

“Thanks man,” he said, “I know he’s not your responsibility, but JJ would appreciate it.”

Josh’s brow furrowed, “You’re not going to tell JJ?”

“Hell, no! He’d probably go murderous or something,” he said, “George’s fine, right? So, what he doesn't know won't hurt him.”

 

~

 

“ _Mr. Shelley_. Mr. Shelley!” George jolted up in his chair, wide eyes facing the teacher in from of him, “Am I disturbing your peaceful sleep, Mr. Shelley?” she said, looking at him disapprovingly.

George felt the colour drain out of his face, “I-I’m sorry Miss Shawn,” he mumbled.

“Perhaps you’d like to take a walk all the way to the principal’s office to wake up?” his teacher said.

“No, I’m sorry, there’s no need for that I’m really sorry,” and then, as if on cue, the bell rang and George felt himself take a deep breath just as the teacher dismissed the class, still looking at him.

Thankfully it was his last class for the day and George was absolutely drained out of energy to even go to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. Instead he made his way back to his dorm.

Before he collapse in bed, though, he decided to call JJ again to know if he had found out anything about Micky.

He had covered for him the entire day saying he was sick and just needed some sleep, but he couldn’t do much more. If when they sent the nurse to their dorm – and George knew it was only a matter of time – he still wasn’t there, Micky would be in serious trouble.

“JJ? Hi,” he said, “have you found him yet?” even while trying to keep the worry out of his voice; it was hard not to sound anxious.

 _“I- yeah, I have some, hmm, friends that saw him around last night - he’s fine, Georgie.”_  

“You just don’t know where,” George whispered to his phone before he could stop himself.

“ _George-_ ,“ JJ paused, and took a deep breath, “ _everything will be okay, alright?_ ”

“I don’t know what I should do, JJ. I can’t keep covering for him, if he doesn’t show up till dinner in the nurse’s office, they’ll come here to check on him and find out he’s gone!” George said. There was silence on the other side of the line for a moment.

“ _I’m going to take care of it, just trust me, yes? And I’ll find your friend, I promise. Keep on studying, kiddo, and don’t worry about it,_ ” JJ reassured. “ _See you soon_.” 

And he hung up.

George trusted his cousin blindly after everything JJ had done for him, but he couldn’t just not worry about it. They were talking about his best friend and Micky really was the only person he had here, he couldn’t just stop worrying about him – not until that boy is back in school, in their dorm and unharmed.

As he let himself collapse in bed, too tired to even take his shoes or his blazer off, he made up his mind.

_I’m going back to that club, tonight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/ask ;)


	4. Chapter 3

* * *

 

 

 

Josh still wasn’t quite familiar with the whole town. Even though it was considered a _small town_ it wasn’t all that small. Jaymi’s club, and all the places where _his people_ hung around for that matter where in the periphery, strategically near the Boarding School; but near the center of the town there were a lot of places, even a public school, and small streets that resembled a maze and confused the hell out of Josh.

In the week that he’d been here he never really bothered going into the center, but today he needed to meet someone there.

It wasn’t going to be a nice meeting – Josh was absolutely sure of it but still, he had to do what he had to do. Breaking off a deal with someone in this business was always messy. When you were that person’s most lucrative _partner_ it was even worse. The truth was that now that he knew JJ, he no longer needed another guy from another city to supply him.

He had all the hard work – true. He was the one who was in the streets selling, submitting himself to potential nasty shit, but he was also the one making the most money. However, he didn’t know personally the people who grew the weed and plants for the drugs and he wanted to keep it that way. It lessened the risks of other complications. It also implied having to know someone who provided him with the merchandise – someone like JJ.

As he neared the café after parking his motorcycle around the corner, he could see through the windows that the other man was already there.

“Josh Cuthbert,” the man greeted outstretching his hand to Josh, “I’ve got to be honest with you, never thought of seeing you back in England.” Josh shook his hand, sitting across from him.

“Yes, well, Walker, I guess we never know, do we?” Josh said

“Oh yes, especially with you,” Walker said with a smile curling the corners of his mouth, “I heard about your latest _adventure_ back in France. I also heard Belrose is now after you. Is that why you came here?”

Josh’s jaw tensed as he curled his hands into fists at the mention of that name.

 “I reckon that’s none of your concern now, is it?” he said staring at the man in front of him with such a cold glare that the other man shifted in his seat, rising his hands defensively with a dry laugh.

“I’m just asking out of curiosity, that’s it! I would have done the same, mate, that man is the devil. The farther away from him I am the better,” Walker said.

Josh resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m not afraid of Belrose,” he stated simply and Walker smirked at him.

“Of course you aren't,” he said as if stating it to himself, “after all, you’re the crazy bastard that had the balls to fuck his wife.”

At that Josh stood up and it took everything he had to not beat the shit out of him. But Josh was a very collected guy and he knew how to control himself – after all, he was known all over France for his coldness among other reasons. So instead of showing any signs of emotion he simply said “I came here to call our deal off. I no longer need you to supply me. Enjoy the rest of your life” and walked out of the café without a single look back, but knowing very well how distressed he left the other man and also that this was not going to be this simple.

 

~ 

 

It was almost 10 pm when Josh entered Jaymi’s club. It hadn’t opened yet and it was still an hour and something left, but Jaymi and JJ were already there along with two other guys – Dan and Greg -  and all the people working that night. It was Friday, and it was one of the busiest days.

When he neared the four boys, they were talking about a missing boy – probably that Micky kid.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked as a greeting, getting a few nods and smiles from the others.

“We were discussing about what we should do to find that Micky kid,” JJ said.

“I can’t have a missing kid; do you know the shit that’s gonna bring my way?” Jaymi was saying to no one in particular.

“Isn’t the school in charge of that yet?” Josh said taking a seat next to Greg who was leaning with his back against the bar, facing the other three.

“No, I already took care of that – I know the secretary,” Greg started and Dan started laughing, looking at the other boy very suggestively. Greg only glared at him, then ”she made me a favor and they now think the kid is sick and his parents have come to get him,” Greg said.

“Yes, but I still have to find him for George,” JJ said, hands on his temples as if the whole subject was giving him a huge headache. It probably was.

For Josh it was pretty simple. The kid wasn’t dead – if he was his body would probably already have appeared in the streets and he hasn’t been kidnapped either, or else his parents and the school would know by now. So there was only one option left: he kid went away because he wanted to.

And he probably wasn’t alone either.

 

~ 

 

Hours later, sometime around midnight, the club was already exploding with people everywhere. Josh was sitting in one of the sofas near the opposite wall from the bar, where there where tables, sofas, stools, bean bags and a bunch of horny teenagers – both boys and girls - thank God. It was a nice change to see boys _with girls_ for once.

He was sitting alone when JJ appeared with a couple of glasses filled with a transparent liquid and sat next to Josh, handing him one of them.

“Hey Cuthbert, decided to give yourself a break from work?” JJ smiled at him getting closer for Josh to hear. It was easy to detect the sweet smell in JJ’s breath that indicated that he’s had his fair share of drinks.

Josh shook his head.

“No, I’m working as we speak, Hamblett,” he said. It was true he was in the investigating part of the job. He needed to find new potential clients, too, right? What better than to observe first?

“Yeah, and does that brunette over there have anything to do with it?” JJ said, indicating a girl on the dance floor that was constantly looking at Josh and trying to call his attention in the most obvious way possible.

He’d noticed her, alright. But Josh wasn’t minimally interested in her. She was just like every other teenage girl and had literally nothing that called out to Josh.

“I’ve been ignoring her for the past ten minutes but the bitch just won’t give up,” JJ couldn’t help himself but laugh out loud and then turned to Josh. He got even closer and his hand went up to land on Josh’s jaw, gently pulling his ear towards his lips, “I think I can help you with that,” he said, locking eyes with the girl who suddenly stopped dancing and smirking at her. “Just follow my lead,” he said without moving away from Josh.

Then, very embarrassed the girl started making her way through the crowd and away from them.

Josh then pushed JJ out of his personal space and with a visible discomfort gracing his features said, “Thanks. I guess,” but JJ only laughed leaning back against the back of the sofa.

“No problem," he said still smiling, “you know what, mate, you’ve got to loosen up a bit, seriously,” he said hitting his arm playfully.

Josh looked at him with his eyebrows raised – for someone so deep into the drug world, JJ sure was a very happy and loose guy, “like you and Jaymi do?”

JJ smirked at him, “exactly. Feel free to join our _care freeness_ anytime”.

Josh just raised his glass at him nodding before drink it all up in a go and ignoring the burning feeling on his throat and the mental image implanting itself on his brain.

“Are you going outside tonight?” JJ asked a few seconds later, referring of course to the alley behind the club.

“Yes, in a bit,” Josh answered. JJ never went to that alley – every single business he had to do he did it here, inside.

So later when Josh left the club through the back doors right into the alley, he was alone. The music was still audible outside but the sounds in there were hardly muffled.

Whether it was people tripping or having sex behind the dumpers it didn’t go unnoticed.

Josh was lighting a cigarette when a blonde girl came to him, dark circles underneath her eyes, all colour gone from her face and she was shaking, a line of sweat breaking in her forehead, she seemed very disturbed by the noise too. Her hangover seemed to be starting.

This girl was deep into this shit – every night she came to Josh, shaking, begging for him to give her more heroin. She was all fucked up already and she looked like shit, but still, it wasn’t Josh’s problem, and she always paid so, he gave her what she asked.

Next to the club almost at the other end of the alley, there was an abandoned construction. The house wasn’t finished but it had a roof and several rooms and so that’s normally where some of them went to consume. One after another, they all came to Josh asking for whatever they wanted. Some of them Josh already knew others he’d never seen.

People, normal people, were always coming in and out of the alley – those who were smart enough never took too long and then there were those idiots who let themselves be caught there for too long. Almost every night since he’s been here, Josh saw one or two guys being beaten for intruding in the junkies’ territory, so when he saw a kid being dragged against the wall by a group of guys, he wasn’t surprised.

However when he was taking a glance in their direction, a dark blue blazer caught his attention. He furrowed his brow.

Then a familiar voice spoke “I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry, please just let me go!”

 _George fucking Shelley_. Josh almost felt the need to hit his head back against the wall. Was this seriously happening?

Before he could really think about it, though, he was moving towards them, sighing deeply, irritation curling his fists and his jaw tense.

Two of them were grabbing the kid when a third was bringing his hand back ready to throw a punch. Josh grabbed the guy’s fist first and twisted it violently snapping it while wrapping his arm around the guy’s throat making him cry out in pain. The other two were already letting go of the kid and, using the guy under his arm as a shield, Josh pushed him against one of them, making them both fall while he used his arm to deflect the third guy’s punch, hitting him right in the gut with such force that he bent in pain and fell to his knees. Meanwhile one of the other two guys was already standing up, and Josh only had time to turn around and deliver a high kick straight to the guys jaw, knocking him off.

Soon enough the remaining two were already running away from them, dragging their temporarily unconscious friend with them.

Josh then turned to the kid to find him looking at him with wide eyes and mouth ajar in shock. Containing his frustration, Josh hissed, “What the fuck did I tell you about going back here?”

 

~

 

“Jaymi, there’s a guy out there asking for Josh,” Dan said as he neared the table where JJ and Jaymi were hanging around with Greg. Jaymi furrowed his brow.

“Do you know the guy?” Jaymi asked. Dan shook his head.

“He just said his name was Mason Walker and that he was looking for Josh Cuthbert,” Dan said taking a seat in one of the stools across from JJ.

“Is he still around?” JJ asked.

“I have no idea, I just said I couldn’t help him and he took off into the crowd,” he said and then added “he’s probably still looking for him.”

“Is Josh in the club?” Jaymi turned to ask JJ, at which JJ shook his head.

“No, he left already, he’s probably outside,” Jaymi nodded and then turned to Greg.

“Someone should probably warn him. I have no idea who this guy is, but we never know,” he said.

And Greg simply nodded. “I’ll go outside look for him.” He called Dan, who followed him.

“Thanks guys,” Jaymi said as the two boys left.

 

~

 

George was still in shock after what he’d just witnessed. A part of him was very impressed and the other was utterly terrified. This guy had all the looks of someone who could kick some ass, but that was just ridiculous. Just like the quantity of adrenaline pumping through his veins after what had happened.

“Oh, my god, who are you?” he inquired a very impatient Josh, still jumping a bit on his feet and with his hands shaking.

“You do realize that your cousin is going to fucking kill you, don’t you?” he said, looking around to see if someone was watching them. “That is, if I don’t kill you first,” he added as a second thought. He went to grab George’s arm when the younger boy took a step out of his reach.

“No, stop, this time I won’t leave until I find Micky,” he said. And Josh couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

“For God’s sake, kid, JJ’s already taking care of that, you being here doesn’t help in the slightest,” Josh reasoned even though the kid was looking at him with a stubborn look on his face, his own jaw set.

“I don’t give a damn, I’m going to find him,” and he stormed out further into the alley, startling Josh completely. Had he not seen what just happened? Was this kid that stupid?

Josh took off after him grabbing him by the back of his blazer and making him stop in his tracks. But he wasn’t giving up and started squirming against Josh’s grasp and when he couldn’t move, he started calling out “Micky! I know you’re there, Micky,” and for a moment Josh had to struggle to wrap only one arm around him in order to silence him with his other hand, dragging him to the wall behind one of the dumpers and away from the looks of everyone else in the alley.

He found himself pressing against the kid with his whole body in order to keep him from moving, his face inches away from George’s as he whispered furiously, “are you fucking suicidal? Do you have any idea what those guys would do to you if they caught you here?”

And George stopped twisting for a moment and looked straight into Josh’s eyes, brow furrowed in genuine curiosity and confusion. What was he talking about?

Slowly, Josh took his hand from George’s mouth without moving an inch apart from him – he knew he was invading the kid’s personal space big time but right now keeping him alive was more important than any of those bullshits.

Just as he felt the other boy slowly giving him space again, George saw past his shoulder two silhouettes moving. There was something so familiar about the way one of them moved that George found himself on his tiptoes trying to see more.

Then as his face caught the light, George felt his heart jumping in his chest and start hammering against his ribcage; he couldn’t help himself, “Micky?” he called loud enough to make the boy that was passing the entrance of the alley where he himself had come from turn around.

Immediately, his eyes widened and he stopped moving for a moment.

Josh turned around for a second but it was enough for George to caught him off guard and push him away in order to start running towards the other boy.

As soon as George broke off, Micky seemed to wake up from whatever trance he was in and he grabbed the other guy’s hand running away from George as fast as he could. George stopped dead in his tracks, shock paralyzing his whole body. For a moment he was incapable of understanding what was going on. But then, as if someone had just whispered the explanation in his ear he realized everything. _He’s running away from me._

Josh hadn’t moved. He didn’t need to, the kid was frozen a few steps away from him. So his suspicions were being confirmed right in front of his eyes; the kid really was running away from here.

For a quick moment he almost felt pity for the boy in front of him – something like this was probably a stab in the back for George.

“Cuthbert!” someone shouted from behind him and for the second time that night, Josh found himself turning around to a familiar voice.

Just leaving the back door of the club was Mason Walker along with at least five of his men.

Josh cursed under his breath and grabbing George’s arm he pushed the kid behind him, using his body to shield him.

“Oh how very nice of you not storming off. I really don’t fancy chasing you, that’d only be a vain pain in the ass for me,” Walker said, smiling at him. “Speaking of pain in the ass,” he added crooking his neck to try and see beyond Josh’s shoulder, “is that your new boyfriend, Cuthbert? Went from fucking people’s wives to fucking their sons?”

Josh was completely still but when he saw some of the men drawing knifes and brass knuckles he heard George’s sudden intake of breath, along with the quick uneven breathing that followed right behind him.

“You know, I heard this town was shady, and a lot of fucked up shit happened here, but I never thought it would change you _that_ way.”

He smoothly took his motorcycle’s keys out of his pocket and shoved them in George’s shaking hand.

“George, listen to me,” he whispered without turning around, “run to my bike – it’s in the same place as yesterday – and start the engine, okay?”  

“I c- I don’t think I can do it,” the boy whispered back with his voice shaking.

“Trust me-“

Right as he was talking they came in his direction, and Josh could only push George away shouting, “Go, kid!”

Something clicked in George and he stormed off the alley running down the street to where the older boy had left his bike. His hands were shaking when he reached it, and he couldn’t even grab the keys decently.

His brain was racing and acting basically on instinct and on what he remembered from last night. He gripped the huge bike’s throttles to hold it while he drew its kickstand back with his feet. He hopped on then, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” he was whispering; he put the keys in the ignition, and proceeding to press the clutch, he looked down at his foot looking for the shifting lever to then press gently down on it, until there was a green light on the panel turning on that said _neutral_. He took a deep breath and still holding the clutch and praying to God he’d done everything right he pressed the start button.

The motorcycle roared coming to life and George could almost laugh with relief. But he had no idea what to do next. Was he supposed to wait for – he still had no idea what his name was.

Before he could even think about doing anything else, the boy of the leather jacket was turning around the corner running towards him and the bike. A few feet away were at least three of the men in the alley, running behind him with their knives shining in the street lights.

His hands where suddenly on top of George’s gripping the throttles of the bike and George let go. While the older boy hopped onto the bike, George gripped his shoulders to slid back in the seat and held on to him like his life depended on it.

Then he closed his eyes and only felt the bike shooting forward and everyone else disappeared behind them along with their fading curses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/ask :)


	5. Chapter 4

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Well, that was fun…” JJ said with a smile on his face, trying to cheer up a very,  _very_ annoyed Jaymi.

They’d just heard about the fight outside between Josh and those other men.

By the time Greg and Dan had shown up they could only hear Josh’s motorcycle in the distance, and see the people running away from the alley, hiding in the abandoned construction.

Immediately they called security and the issue was taken care of without the notice of the people inside the club, but the guy, Walker, was already gone.

As he closed the door to the small office on the top story of the club, JJ leaned against it, observing Jaymi as he sat down on the chair, head in his hands.

“I need a break from this,” Jaymi simply said. JJ almost laughed, eyebrows raised.

“What?” he chuckled. “Jaymi, have you been drinking?”

“No. But I do have a huge headache right now,” he said, rubbing his forehead.

“Want me to take you home?” JJ offered, taking a few steps towards him. Jaymi smiled.

“You’ll have to buy me dinner first,” he said, and winked at him. JJ’s smile just got wider.

“Whenever you want.”

And there he was again; that playful but not entirely kidding tone of his that always caught Jaymi off guard. JJ had always been like that, flirty – especially with Jaymi when he was drunk – and Jaymi had always been okay with it. In fact he was the only one who had the confidence to flirt back, and so it kind of became a thing for them.

But JJ did that all the time with everyone, boys and girls – that was the thing about JJ. He wasn’t  _picky_ , if he’s interested, he goes for it. So Jaymi was used to this  _carefree_  JJ. It was in fact the only side of JJ he had ever known ever since their time in high school together.

JJ was a year older than Jaymi, but when he moved into town he’d lost a school year and hadn’t been able to graduate. He ended up repeating his senior year in the town’s public school, and that was when Jaymi met him.

It was easy to get along with JJ, and Jaymi grew fonder every day of the boy’s captivating charisma and good spirits. Being around him was always a mood lifter, even if you were having the worst day of your life. JJ just made you forget.

The light, playful and good humored side was the only one Jaymi knew of him, until his little cousin moved here too, already half a year ago. He was so protective of the kid, concerned with his well-being like Jaymi had never seen him being for anyone else’s. The day Jaymi met George and saw JJ interacting with him for the first time, he felt a warmth invading his heart and he couldn’t quite describe the stab he felt in his chest.

Ever since that day it’s been harder and harder to deal with JJ and his “flirty-ness”. He felt bothered, like one does when someone doesn’t take you seriously. But he couldn’t stop flirting back either – he was so drawn into JJ already. It did feel like he was kidding most of the time, but sometimes there was something in his face, in his voice, in the way he was looking at Jaymi that seemed so serious that threw him completely off his feet. That was the worst part of these…  _feelings_ ; as hard as he tried to take it all playfully, there were times when a part of him always wondered if he was being serious.

It was dumb because Jaymi knew the answer already – he wasn’t. He was just being JJ.

So, like he always did, Jaymi smiled at him, shaking his head as if trying to keep all those thoughts away.

 

~

 

George still wasn’t able to wrap his head around everything that just happened. This whole night was becoming so unreal and going by so fast that he felt like he was still asleep and having one of his crazy dreams. Whenever he tried to think, to make sense of everything, he couldn’t get anywhere and only ended up confusing himself more. His head was hurting pretty badly already.

He couldn’t understand anything. Why was he attacked as soon as he stepped foot in that alley? Why did Micky run away? Who were those men? Why did they want to hurt the boy in the leather jacket?  _Who was the boy in the leather jacket?_  What was going on?

It was frustrating him so much he could already feel the tears prickling in his eyes, and he buried his head in his arms, which were around his knees as he stayed sitting in the middle of the grass surrounding his school, his back against the fence.

The older boy was some feet away from George, and his bike parked in front of him. His back was turned to George and he was pacing around, both hands intertwined in the back of his neck as he stared up into the sky.

Josh was already expecting Walker to come after him – he never doubted for a second that he would, but never had he thought that this fucking kid would be around when Walker showed up. He could handle Walker just fine, the problem was the kid.

As he thought about what he was going to do now, Jaymi’s words from earlier rang in his ears -  _“I know he’s not your responsibility…”_ Well, with Walker thinking the kid had something to do with him, and very possibly coming after him, he kind of was now, wasn’t he?

A hot spasm of anger rose inside of him, and he kicked the fence beside him, making it shake violently and catch George’s attention, whose head snapped up to look at him.

He took his jacket off, feeling constricted by the leather.

The older boy was so furious at the whole thing, he felt like beating the living shit out of somebody. He brought his hands up again, to the same position behind his head as he tried to think of something.

With his arms raised like that his white t-shirt rode up and George’s eyes immediately dropped to the bit of skin it revealed from his abdomen. He couldn’t help but stare at the other boy’s skin; his arms were full of tattoos – not sleeves, but random black tattoos that contrasted against his tan skin in the dark . The only street lamp was a few meters away illuminating the turn of the road, and for the first time he looked human to George, without his black leather jacket covering his skin, or that coldness of his.

Everything in him was black and white, George noticed. As his eyes roamed through the other boy’s body, he noticed the shape of a gun in his belt.

George had never seen a gun before, and his first reaction was to get up, gripping the fence to keep himself balanced, and he stepped back, away from him.

The other boy seemed to noticed the sudden nervousness in George’s actions.

“Oh,  _now_ you’re afraid?” he said, talking to him for the first time since they left town. He took a couple of steps towards George, and the other boy felt a sudden rush of fear wash towards him, his breath getting caught in his throat, his eyes constantly shifting to the gun in his belt.

“I think… I think there’s some things you haven’t told me.”

“Yeah?” the other boy asked, stopping a few feet away from him, crossing his arms, his muscles flexing and driving George’s attention towards them for a moment. “Like what?”

And immediately George asked, the question that was burning in his tongue ever since last night, when they had been in this very same spot.

“What’s your name?” George said. The other boy looked surprised at the question, but answered nonetheless.

“Josh,” he said, and right away George found himself repeating his name multiple times in his head.  _Josh_.

“Who were those guys?” Josh took a long look at him before answering.

“They’re people with whom I have unfinished business”.

“What do you know about Micky?” he asked, his voice trembling as he tried to remain calm.

Josh sighed, rolling his eyes, his jaw tense with anger and frustration. “I don’t know, but it seemed very clear to me that he was running away from this place. Maybe he found someone he wanted to take off with. Maybe he was tired of this place, and you!” he spat, his anger taking over him.

The sharp intake of breath from George and the hurt look on his face was enough to make Josh regret what he said right away.

“Why were those men after you?” George asked instead, filling in the silence, refusing to let his words sink in. But already his mind was working against him.  _Nobody really cares about you, George. Not even your “best friend”._

“Look, kid-“ but George didn’t even give him time to continue, interrupting him. “Why were those men after you?” he shouted, his hands rolling up in tight fists, eyes closed, and the first tear rolled down.

He realized then how not only scared he had been but also angry. How angry he was right now at everything, at Micky for getting out of school in the first place, for leaving him completely  _alone_ , at JJ for not telling him what was going on, at those men that for some reason started chasing him, at those idiots who almost beat the shit out of him, at his parents for not knowing, for not wanting to know what was going on with him, at the boys in his school that locked him in the janitor’s cabinets for hours and hours, at the teachers that never noticed he was even missing, at the girls who didn’t understood he _didn’t like_  them, at the kids who broke his arm in the locker room, and stole his stuff, and called him names, and beat the shit out of him, and tried to show him what a  _real man_  was.

Before he could even stop himself he was shaking uncontrollably and there was a lump in his throat and the tears were running down his face.

Josh was shocked, completely paralyzed on the same spot, looking at the kid with his brow furrowed in confusion. What was that all about?

And then he remembered JJ’s words from almost a week ago.  _“Well, it’s about time someone takes care of the kid, after all the shit he has been put through.”_

He remembered being in school in France – he remembered how he struggled because he didn’t fit in. He remembered how shallow everything felt, how those people resembled nothing but robots, how hollow he felt because there wasn’t anyone in his life that actually cared for him, how cold and distant everyone was, always pretending to like each other, pretending to feel what they didn’t, pretending to be lovely when they were all snakes, suffocating you when you tried to stand out and be different.

He remembered how that coldness that they taught him ended up being the thing that held him together, that ended up being his armor.

And looking at this kid, he could see he had nothing holding him together. He had nothing to protect him from this cruel world that would shoot you down every time you tried to stand up. Whenever you showed your personality, your character, everyone would always step on you, because you couldn’t be different from the ones surrounding you.

George let himself fall to the ground again, sitting against the fence, trying hard to stop crying, just  _stop crying!_

Without saying a word, and not really knowing what drew him to do it, Josh found himself nearing the kid, sitting just a foot or so away from him, against the fence.

“I didn’t mean to say that, kid…” he mumbled, not sure how to make the younger boy stop crying. All this was very new to him; he didn’t know what to do to make the boy feel better, and he never ever had felt the need to actually do something like this for anyone else. It was strange.

Between his sobs, he actually smiled, but it was bitter, humorless.

“Yes you did,” George whispered. “And you’re right, too.” He then wiped his tears and added “I’m being ridiculous…”

Swallowing the small lump forming in his throat, Josh felt the need to actually deny that, shaking his head.

“I know it’s tough in there…” he said, looking to his right, nodding towards the huge stone building less than half a mile behind them.

“What do you know about private schools?” the younger boy asked, without taking his eyes from the grass at his feet.

“More than you think,” he said simply, and stayed silent. George’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, and then he lifted his head to his right, right at Josh.

There was a cut in his cheekbone, a long one that he hadn’t noticed until now. He was bleeding, but if he even realized that he didn’t seem bothered by it.

He turned his body towards him, letting go of his knees to reach out towards Josh’s face. He wasn’t really thinking very much about what he was doing – he was simply worried.

As soon as his fingers touched Josh’s skin, the other boy jolted in surprise; he turned his head towards him, and immediately blue eyes fell on George’s brown ones. It was the first time George could actually see the other boy decently, without shadows on his face – the street lamp’s light was enough to illuminate them.

"You’re bleeding," he said softly.

George was right, everything in Josh was black and white – everything, except his blue eyes. It was odd, but George never would’ve thought Josh’s eyes would be blue. Brown, yes, grey, black, hazel… but never blue.

It fit him, though. It was a nice contrast.

For a moment Josh was caught off guard again. This kid seemed to constantly have that effect on him, and it was… unsettling. He was looking at him very seriously too, as if lost in thought, and when Josh broke the eye contact to bring a hand to his cut, George couldn’t help but keep looking at him.

He didn’t know him, at all, but still, he got in a fight to get him out of trouble. And George also suspected that he only ran out of the second one because of him. It was weird, because George had given him nothing but a huge headache, and still he had the calm and coolness to think straight when George panicked immediately. He didn’t really have to take him out of there, to protect him. George knew that Josh could probably take them – he had a gun, for God’s sake - but he knew that if he stayed they’d find a way to hurt George.

And that – his thinking also about George, when George wasn’t even his responsibility, - was really… nice?

Maybe Josh wasn’t as bad as he looked.

He leaned his head back against the fence, and closed his eyes, suddenly realizing how tired he was.

“What time is it?” he heard himself ask.

“Almost 2am…” Josh answered. “You should probably go back inside, kid.”

George pouted, annoyed without opening his eyes. “Stop calling me kid. You can’t be that much older.”

Josh snickered at that. “I’m turning 22 in a few months. How about you?” he mocked.

“I’m turning 18 in a few months…” George said, and his eyes opened as he stared straight ahead. “And then I can take off, just like Micky did, and no one can come looking for me…” he said in a whisper, more to himself then to Josh, who turned to look at him again.

“You don’t need to be 18 to get out of here, you know?” Josh said. George nodded.

“I know. I just don’t want them to come after me…” he said.

And before Josh could stop himself, he said “No one came after me.” It felt like a slap in the face, to actually realize this. He knew it already, of course, and he wanted it that way, but it still burned. It still made him feel like shit to have the actual confirmation that his parents didn’t give a fuck about him.

He could feel George’s eyes on him curiosity in them for sure. But he ignored it and stood up, grabbing his jacket. “Come on,” he said and he offered a hand to help him.

George took it without hesitation and he was super aware of Josh’s skin in his. When he let go of him, George found himself just staying there awkwardly as Josh walked to his bike, grabbing his helmet.

When Josh looked back at him, George snapped out of his reverie and turned around to climb the fence. When he reached the other side, Josh was ready to go.

“Hey, uhm, Josh?” he called, feeling shy all of a sudden. It was weird saying his name for the first time. When he looked at him, George tried a small smile. “Thank you… for pretty much saving my life,” George said, chuckling at the end of the sentence.

“You’re welcome,” he said with a smirk curling the corners of his lips. “Kid,” he added with a smile just to tease him, and then put his helmet on and drove off.

George was left there, shaking his head as he turned around to start walking and biting the smile off his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/ask :)


	6. Chapter 5

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

A dream always makes perfect sense when you’re in them. In fact, you never really realise you’re dreaming, or how weird everything is, until you’re fully awake and think back to it.

George’s dreams were always weird and changed many times during the night and yet, he was never able to realise how odd the situations truly were.

He was running down the halls of his old school, panting, lost and scared. George was running from something, he was terribly afraid of it, but he could not remember what or when he’d started. His legs were almost giving out when they reached him, and George could feel his chest burning from the effort of trying to scream when he was so breathless.

Faceless figures were grabbing at him, pushing him around against sets of lockers that shook noisily but still warned nobody of what was happening. George was begging,  _“let me go, leave me alone,”_   he couldn’t even cry because the air was suddenly being punched out of his ribcage and he was on the floor, trying to protect his face with his hands.  _“Why are you doing this?”_  George wasn’t even sure if he was speaking at all, because all he was aware of were their feet connecting with his body.

But someone answered,  _“because you’re a fucking fag!”_

George closed his eyes then, tears streaming down his face, and when he opened them he was in his bed and could hear his parents talking right outside his room.  _“He’s got a problem, he’s sick.”_   It was his father’s voice whispering, followed by his mother’s, _“He’s just going through a phase. He’ll be back to normal in no time.”_

George stood up, darting to the door.  _“No I won’t!”_  he screamed in frustration, tears falling freely. It was true. He wanted nothing more than to believe his mother, that it was just a phase and that he was their kind of  _normal_  but he wasn’t. He banged his fist against the door and tried to open it, but it was locked.

George could smell the detergents, and his feet tripped on a still wet mop that had fallen in front of him. It was so small and cramped inside the closet; the sensation of claustrophobia overtook him and he was suddenly unable to breathe. Outside, George could hear the laughter of the other boys, calling him names, mocking him.  _“And this time,”_  one of them was saying,  _“stay in the fucking closet, homo!”_

He heard a gunshot and everything went silent. Then, the closet’s door was yanked open and there, with his black leather jacket, white t-shirt, dark jeans and piercing blue eyes, stood Josh, gun in his hand and a dead body at his feet. He reached out to him and George took his hand, immediately falling against his body, letting Josh’s arms embracing him and hold him close. He felt like a loved human being again, as Josh’s hand held the back of his neck firmly but gently in place. With his heart jumping in his chest, he couldn’t describe how safe he felt at that moment.

_“It’s alright, kid.”_

Later, at breakfast, that same sensation was still overtaking him, coming in waves, stronger every time he remembered details, like the slight scraping of Josh’s little stubble against his temple, or the strength with which his hands were holding George against his body. All the rest he was used to – they were but memories that crept their way into his dreams. Normally he woke up sweating, panting, tired; but his time he found himself wanting to go back there, just so he could feel the safety of a pair of arms around him and a warm body holding him. He could feel himself blush at those thoughts, but he couldn’t help his mind from wandering there every now and then, bringing with it the oddest warm,fuzzy feeling in his belly.

 

~ 

 

 _“Joshy,”_  Jaymi singsonged in the sleeping boy’s ear, trying to wake him up softly. “Come on, mate, I’m sure the great neck and back ache you have right now is enough to not allow you to be that deep into sleep,” Jaymi said, sitting on the edge of the sofa, facing him.

“I’m trying to sleep past the pain and you’re not helping, Jaymi,” he murmured without opening his eyes.

Jaymi rolled his eyes, a smirk already gracing his lips. “Why did you stay here in the first place?” he asked while Josh stood up with his hand on his neck, massaging it.

“I was trying to think… find a way to solve some shit,” Josh said, and Jaymi sat back against the arm rest in order to face Josh.

“You mean whatever business you have with that Walker guy?” Josh nodded, head in his hands, rubbing at his temples.

“I can handle him just fine,” Josh said, and then took a deep breath before he added, “It’s George I’m worried about. The kid snuck out of school again, and Walker saw him with me.” He remembered Walker’s words -  _“is that your new boyfriend, Cuthbert?”_  - and hesitated for a moment. “He thinks he’s somehow related to me.”

The other boy was silent for a moment, mouth ajar.

“Fuck!” was Jaymi’s only response. He stood up from the couch, pacing around, hand rubbing at his face. “This is exactly the kind of shit JJ wanted to avoid,” he murmured,scrunching his face, then he stopped suddenly. “I heard about the fight, is George okay?”

Josh nodded. “Yeah, he’s fine, I took him out of there… but Jaymi, you guys have to tell the kid the truth.”

He’d though about that a lot, last night. Yes, it was going to be a shock at first, and the kid would be thrown completely off his feet and lost for awhile, but it was definitely for the better.

George had no idea the real danger those streets were. People died in the streets from overdoses or a gunshots; it didn’t matter. They got beaten up, robbed, or worse, and the only way of protecting yourself was to stay as far away as you could from that place. Most people in there had lost their minds long ago; they didn’t care if you were lost – if you entered their territory without permission, they’d make sure you wouldn’t dare to snitch about what you saw to anyone… if you were lucky enough to get out of there by your own feet and not in a box.

“He wouldn’t understand,” Jaymi started but Josh interrupted him.

“If he doesn’t know what he’s walking into, there’s no way he’ll stay away. That kid is persistent and curious as hell, only fear will keep him inside that school’s yards .”

Jaymi let himself fall onto one of the bean bags, sighing heavily.

It was kind of cruel to think of doing something like this to the kid. Making him feel trapped inside a building, for whatever reason it might be, wasn’t fair. Josh would know about that better than anyone else, but it was the only way he could think of.

Because if anything happened to that kid cause Walker thought he was related to Josh… he wasn’t even able to finish that thought.

It was all so conflicting and unpleasant and  _new_  that Josh didn’t know how to deal with it. He’d never had another person so directly dependent on him before. Well… not someone so defenseless like George. 

George was  _so_  naïve…. so innocent and genuine and  _caring_.

The look on his face when he’d realize Josh was hurt was burned in his brain. He looked at him like he was worried Josh might be in pain and he wanted to do what he could to ease it – to make it okay.

Josh had never had someone look at him that way, because when someone looks like Josh does, people only look at them with fear and wariness.

He’d never met anyone like George. That kid was annoying and stubborn and ridiculously hasty and irrational but… there was something about him. There was absolutely no malice in what he did. He truly just worried and wanted to help.

_Why?_

“I have to tell JJ,” Josh said, looking at Jaymi. The other boy shook his head, “No, it’s got to be me, otherwise JJ will be even more pissed,” he said. “I’ll do it.”

He stood up, dragged  his phone out of his pocket, and headed towards the kitchen with it already ringing in his ear.

 _“Hey Jaymi,”_ JJ greeted _._ _“Please tell me this is a booty call.”_

Jaymi had to laugh, despite everything that was worrying him right now. “No, I’m afraid it isn’t,” he said. “ButI was going to ask you to come over for a very late lunch or early dinner, so…”

JJ sighed dramatically on the other side.  _“One day…”_ he whispered longingly and then cleared his throat.  _“Well, I guess that’s as close as it can get…I’ll be there in five, want me to bring anything?”_

“No, just hurry up,” he said, starting to pace all around the kitchen. He heard JJ’s laugh before hanging up and turned to Josh. “What do you want for lunch?” he asked.

Josh shook his head. “Oh, I’m leaving,” he said, walking towards the stairs to go to his room. He needed a scalding shower to undo all the knots of tension in his back and neck. “I’m just going to have a shower and I’m heading off.”

Jaymi stopped, frowning at him. “Josh, you’re not going to look for that Walker guy, are you?” 

Josh didn’t stop and didn’t say anything at all, and Jaymi didn’t insist either, turning instead to the counter, thinking about what he should cook.

When JJ left Jaymi’s house he was furious. He yelled at Jaymi for not telling him, he swore to kill the first motherfucker who laid a finger on the kid, and he stormed out of Jaymi’s flat, pushing him out of the way when Jaymi was still trying to talk to him and calm him down. There was nothing Jaymi could do to calm him down right now.

It was nearly five pm when he stopped his car at the gates of the school, rolled the window down to identify himself to the security guard, received the visitor card, and made his way inside the school’s private parking lot, where the teachers had their cars parked. There were kids and parents all over the place, preparing to go home - normally they picked the kids up on fridays, but today was equally as bustling.

After greeting the secretary, who already knew him, he walked towards the dorms side of the building, climbing the stairs rather quickly.

He knocked on George’s door, waiting impatiently while the kid rummaged all around his dorm, probably trying to hide something.

“Hi, I’m ready!” George greeted when he opened the door. He was already waiting for JJ – he always picked him up on Saturdays and let him stay with him for the weekend. “Is… ahm,  is everything okay?” he asked, reluctantly following JJ’s movements with his eyes as he entered the dorm. JJ turned around as George closed the door.

“George… do you have anything to tell me?” he asked calmly, though the tension in his shoulders and jaw was evident. George felt like something ice cold suddenly slid down his throat to his stomach. JJ knew.

“I…” He thought about making an excuse, but he knew it was no use and JJ would only get madder at him. He scrunched his face, biting his lip. “I’m sorry, JJ, I didn’t mean to upset you I just – I  _needed_  to find Micky,” he said.

“You could get yourself hurt, George! What did I tell you about wandering  _those_  streets at _those_  hours completely alone?” JJ said, gesturing with his hands, unable to contain himself.

“But nothing happened-” he started, but JJ was already talking over him, “Because Josh was there!”

 _Yes_ , George thought,  _Josh was there_. For a moment he was taken back to his dream and he had to shake his head to focus.

“What if he wasn’t, George? What if he was inside the club like me and Jaymi? Do you have any idea the kind of scumbags that wander there? Some pretty fucked up shit has happened there, George, and you cannot even begin to imagine what,” he said, his voice raising. JJ’s head was overflowing with images of George’s body covered in blood lying in the middle of the street, completely abandoned and lifeless. He had to stop talking for a moment.

George was silently looking at him, biting his lip and feeling like shit. However mad JJ was right now, it was impossible to take it out on George. He couldn’t bring himself to make the kid feel any worse when, honestly, he was just looking out for a friend and had no idea how truly bad the things were out there.

“After all the crap they did to you back home-” He stopped again, choosing not to go there. He still remembered the day he found out what was happening very clearly. He had gone to pick George up at school and found a group of kids beating him so brutally George was barely conscious when JJ reached him.

He took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“I brought you here to get you away from those fuckers back home, Georgie,” JJ said, in a calmer tone of voice. “I don’t expect you to be a saint or something, but at least don’t jeopardize your safety like this ever again, okay?”

 _I was fine, Josh was with me_ , George thought. He said nothing though.

“My mom would kill me if she knew you were wandering around alone at night,” JJ continued.

George thought about his aunt, and a smile crept onto his face. “No, she wouldn’t,” George mumbled.

JJ smiled then, ruffling George’s hair. “Oh yes she would. You’ve always been her favourite nephew,” he said, dragging him towards the door. George chuckled at that. “Yeah, and her only one too.”

JJ scoffed, opening the door as he mumbled, “Details.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/ask


	7. Chapter 6

* * *

 

 

 

 

After running around all afternoon for information about Walker and getting absolutely nothing, Josh was extremely angry. When he arrived home, Jaymi was already gone. Josh was supposed to be out too, but today he wasn’t very keen on going to work.

The simple thought of having to face people was enough to get him frustrated and tired, and for a long,  _long_  time he just lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling with millions of thoughts crossing his mind.

Now, whenever he allowed his mind to run free instead of suppressing his thoughts – which only brought headache and no real solutions – he thought of the kid.

Always that kid,  _George fucking Shelley_ , whose face was starting to seriously drive Josh mental. His thoughts towards him were kind of bipolar; sometimes he wanted to put the kid in a shield of glass and hide him away, and sometimes he felt like kicking the living hell out of him for being  _so stupid_  and putting them all in this situation.

He stood up from the bed, looking towards the clothing drawers. He had decided to just stay here with Jaymi instead of moving to another flat.

Josh was tired. He was so pissed and snappy and always looking over his shoulder ever since the day he stopped in this fucking town.

France was pretty stressful, depending on the areas, but –  _fuck!_  He was reaching a point where he couldn’t even stop to breathe and think it through. Mostly because he was now  _responsible_  for other people, and he’d never had to deal with that before.

But screw it! He needed to relax for just a bit. That was it; that was the problem here. He needed a break, to blow some steam off or something, or else he’d end up fucking insane.

Making up his mind, he took his black shirt off and strode to the drawers, pulling out a loose white shirt with a deep v neck and putting it on. From the last drawer he took out a dark brown belt, and then moved to the closet and took out a pair of dark blue jeans.

Tonight he wanted to relax, and he knew he couldn’t when people were always looking sideways at him because of how he dressed. So he did his best to look good and _normal_.

With his dark brown boots already on, his hair styled in a loose quiff, and his wallet, phone and keys in his pockets, he grabbed his dark blue blazer and left his room.

 

~

 

Gripping his helmet in one hand, Josh made his way to the club’s entrance, fixing his hair with the other hand. He cut the line and headed straight to the door, earning a few looks and even a verbal protest from one redheaded girl right in the front. He greeted the security guard and smiled teasingly at the girl as he entered, daring to even wink at her.

Inside, it was full with people. It was hard to even cut through with everyone moving and jumping and dancing all around.

Moving towards the bar where he knew Jaymi or JJ would probably be, he found Greg behind the bar counter, along with some of the girls. Dan and Greg both worked for Jaymi, but they were actually more his friends than his employees, so it was pretty rare seeing either of them behind the counter, actually working instead of keeping an eye out for trouble like they usually did.

That was good, though. That probably meant there was nothing out of the ordinary going on, and Dan could take care of it alone.

Good. Tonight, Josh wanted nothing more than to party and feel good, like he hadn’t in a while.

A sudden memory came to him, of when he was back in France.

Robert Belrose was a very busy man, constantly on the move, rarely home. That’s why it had been so  _easy_ for Megan to just fall in Josh’s arms.

Except, she hadn’t really  _fallen_ , and Josh realized that in the first night both of them went out without anyone knowing. She thought he was crazy for wanting to get out of the safety and privacy of the house, but he’d just said,  _“C’mon, live a little, love,”_  and she decided to give the boy a chance.

He took her to a rave, and all he could remember from that night was her body pressed against his, the feel of her skin beneath his fingers and how  _alive_  and breathtakingly beautiful she looked.

When Belrose came back and she just acted like nothing had happened that last weekend, like the total opposite of the woman he saw in that rave, it hit him completely by surprise to realize that actually, Megan had him  _exactly_ where she wanted him.

With a shake of his head, he chased those thoughts away.

 

~ 

 

Jaymi was having a hard time concentrating. He was tense and snappish all because of JJ.

JJ wasn’t talking to him, but Jaymi was already expecting that from the moment he decided to tell him the truth. It didn’t mean that he was very happy about it, but he knew JJ well enough. He needed to prove his point, to show Jaymi how much he pissed him off.

The problem was that when JJ was pissed off, when he was mad at Jaymi, he chose the cruelest way to punish him. It didn’t happen that often – thank God – and Jaymi doubted that JJ even had a clue about how it was really affecting Jaymi.

Right now he was in the middle of the dance floor, dressed in a ridiculous black shirt, which half of was practically transparent every time the lights hit him directly. He had a black leather jacket on too, which wasn’t helping matters anymore.

JJ was looking good, JJ was looking  _so damn good_ , and he knew it too, because he was now practically grinding on every single human being who wanted to dance with him, and Jaymi was almost self-combusting with… anger.

This was his way to forget or deal with things, through human contact, the shameless touches.

Jaymi wasn’t stupid, he knew JJ wasn’t virginal or anything like that. He knew perfectly well that JJ had his… affairs.

But he never rubbed them all over Jaymi’s face like this. They never really spoke of it or anything, hence why Jaymi wasn’t even sure JJ knew how  _jeal_ \- how angry it all made Jaymi. But it was like a silent agreement between them, and JJ was being a fucking idiot right now, and Jaymi was really pissed off.

“I’m sorry JJ’s mad at you.” George’s voice in his ear brought him back from his thoughts. “He’ll come around soon, I promise.”

Jaymi smiled at the kid. They were in the VIP area, in a platform just a few feet higher than the rest of the club, providing a view over all the club. George always showed up with JJ on Saturdays and today wasn’t an exception – what better way to take care of the kid if not by having him next to you, right?

But Jaymi’s tension was making George feel so awkward; he had been sitting next to him very tightly wound up, just waiting. He had no idea if he should stay there or go downstairs and walk around, find people he knew or something. Luckily, before he had to voice his thoughts, Jaymi said “You know, you don’t have to stay here sitting all night, Georgie.”

The younger boy almost sighed in relief. “Just don’t leave the club, yeah?” Jaymi continued, and smiled at the kid as he stood up and made his way down the couple of steps.

As soon as George blended in with the rest of the crowd, Jaymi’s head turned to find JJ again. He was dancing with a girl, but JJ’s attention seemed to be focused on the boy dancing right behind her. She was looking between them, but both of them were looking at each other like she wasn’t even there.

For some reason the girl didn’t even seem a tiny bit bothered by it. In fact, with a hand behind the neck of the other boy, she brought him closer, and JJ did the rest.

She just bit her lip, watching as both kissed, and that was it for Jaymi.

He stood up suddenly, with such a violent wave of anger taking over him that he kicked the small table in front of him, sending it flying and drawing the attention of the people in the platform with him.

Jaymi ignored them all, making his way down the steps and to the bar, ready to just drink that bloody uncomfortable feeling in his chest away.

He found Josh and joined him.

“Jaymi, are you okay?” Greg asked, refilling Josh’s glass. Jaymi put his hand up, silencing him.

“Don’t ask questions, just give me something to drink,” he said, and Greg shared a look with Josh before shrugging and deciding not to argue with him.

“Alright, but go easy, mate, don’t get too wasted,” Greg teased, filling him a glass of whiskey. Jaymi glared at him, and, taking the glass from his grasp, he mumbled, “Fuck off,” before turning around, eyes on the dance floor. He really didn’t want to see what JJ was doing right now, but his eyes kept darting there like he couldn’t stop himself. _Fucking JJ._

“Are you mad at him?” Josh asked, not even needing to look to know Jaymi was looking for JJ. Jaymi shook his head.

“Actually, he’s mad at me,” he said in a harsh tone, and Josh turned slightly to find JJ somewhere in the middle of the dance floor, arms around some girl to grab at the guy behind her, while they made out quite…  _vigorously_. 

Josh’s eyebrows rose. What was quite shocking about having just watched that was the fact that he wasn’t as uncomfortable with the two boys making out as he probably should be. Maybe it was the alcohol in his veins numbing him already.

“Well, he doesn’t look all that mad to me,” Josh said, emptying his glass and handing it to Greg. “You, on the other hand…”

Jaymi scoffed at that. “I’m not mad. I just think he’s acting like an idiot,” Jaymi said, trying to act cool and smile. But Josh could see right through it – he was so jealous it was physically uncomfortable to be around him right now.

So, collecting his - now full - glass, he patted Jaymi’s shoulder, said, “Whatever you say, mate,” and walked off towards the dance floor.

Josh didn’t really dance all that much, but today was one of those days in which he decided to shut everything in his head off, and with a little help from the alcohol, right now he didn’t care about a single thing in the world. He was  _so loose_ , it was such a nice feeling.

Before he could actually decide on someone, a pretty brunette was in his way, smiling at him. She wasn’t really doing anything besides dancing, but the look in her eyes said enough. Josh neared her, and she immediately turned around, allowing Josh to move against her back. Her hands were in Josh’s hair in no time, bending his head slightly forward as she exposed her neck, practically offering herself on a slate.

Normally, the easy-ness of it would be a turn-off for Josh, but he was already so dazed in his need to forget everything that he didn’t care right now.

He smiled, leaning forward. As he did, his eyes darted up for a second, and in a fast flash of the lighting he thought he saw a familiar silhouette some feet away.

Josh brushed it off, his lips connecting with the girl’s neck. His hands were around her, low on her hips as they both moved to the beat of the music. It was like a bliss, the numbness taking over Josh. It was like the world outside was being drowned by the music in there, and everyone just forgot themselves and everyone around them. The only thing grounding him, reminding him of where he was, was that girl. Every thought crossing his mind involved wanting to touch her and how to touch her.

Opening his eyes, he looked forward, and in the dark, with the sporadic flashes of the lights, he saw a familiar head, its ruffled straight hair too recognizable to him already.

He blinked several times, and it didn’t go away. That was it. He was going insane.

He pulled the girl closer, and which she gasped, chuckling at his eagerness. He wasn’t going to allow his head to go back there, to think about that kid.  _No_. He refused to let the thoughts of that boy ruin his haze. He wasn’t supposed to fill his thoughts like this… Josh had probably drunk more than he thought, because besides not controlling his mind, he was now seeing things too.  _Get out of my head!_

All he wanted was to shut it down, these thoughts about George, because it was making Josh feel weird. He didn’t care about people, so why did he care about that kid? It was confusing and he just wanted to  _smother_  those…weird feelings.

The girl turned around in his arms, smiling at Josh, but his eyes had found a pair of brown ones all the way across the club.

Josh’s first thought was that he wasn’t just drunk; he was drugged. Someone had spiked his drink, because this was a very complex illusion - one he doubted his mind had the ability to come up with.  _Fuck, leave me alone!_

All he wanted was time away from it all. But his mind was refusing to let him get away from that kid.  _Shit._

As the girl leaned forward, closing the space between them, her mouth finding his, Josh decided that yes, he must definitely be drugged, because all of a sudden those eyes widened with genuine shock and, after that, confusion.

Josh’s eyes were glued to his. The girl was kissing him, but he just didn’t have his heart in it; something was off.

Josh could swear for a moment that kid’s eyes were suddenly moistened, and the look of hurt that flickered for just a moment behind them was so unexpected that it threw Josh off his feet. He felt dizzy.

Josh closed his eyes then, his mouth moving with the girl’s, hoping to chase that image away.

Never in his whole life had kissing a girl felt so  _wrong_.


	8. Chapter 7

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Banging his head against the bathroom door repeatedly, George mumbled “ _You’re an idiot_ ” to himself, over and over again like a mantra.

He had no idea what the hell was going on with him right now. He felt stupid,  _so stupid_.

All day he had this kind of fantasy playing around in his head, all because of that stupid dream. He hadn’t been able to stop it, and maybe – no, not maybe, definitely – his mind had twisted things up so much that he blew things out of proportion again, because that’s how his stupid heart worked.

It was always like this whenever a guy gave him any attention – he started imagining _things_  and got completely lost in those fantasies and feeling stupid things, until reality slapped him in the face and he was forced to wake up.

It was always disappointing; his heart always tightened, making him uncomfortable for a while, and then he felt empty, like all hope of having someone reciprocating his feelings was suddenly gone.

But that – what just happened out there felt more like a  _stab_.

What else was he expecting from someone like Josh? He was the total opposite of George, in  _every_ way. And he knew that, he’d known from the moment he laid eyes on Josh that he’d never seen someone as different from everything George was as Josh.

Why he let himself ever think of Josh like  _that_ in the first place was beyond George.

 _He saved my ass, more than once._  Yes, he did. And he did it for JJ, because they were friends and all of JJ’s friends knew to look out for George.  _You’re nothing but a pain in the ass to him;_ like he was to everyone around him.

George leaned back against the door of the bathroom stall, sliding down until he was on the floor, and closed his eyes. He wanted to kick himself. When would he learn?

How many more times did these infatuations of his have to leave a crack in his heart, until it was one too much and it broke completely?

He sighed.

Josh was probably laughing at him right now …if he wasn’t too occupied getting his soul sucked out of his lips by that girl’s mouth…

George cursed under his breath,  _stop being so stupid!_  
  
  
Josh’s brain just wouldn’t shut up. The longer he stayed by this girl’s side, the louder his mind screamed his thoughts in repeat mode. He never felt so disconnected from a girl he’d been with before, and it was making him dizzy.

But maybe that was the alcohol coursing through his veins, already taking its toll on him.

The room spun every time he moved too fast and his head was a little bit heavier than usual, but combined with the lights and the music and the energy around him, it really wasn’t that bad. The dazed state was pretty amazing. The only thing ruining everything was this girl and all the thoughts she was awakening. Whenever he looked at her, he saw the kid’s face, and he didn’t want to.

So he let go of her. She was disappointed, and by the look on her face even a bit hurt by being discarded so easily, but Josh felt nothing about it; nothing that compared to how uncomfortable and wrong that same look on George’s face made him feel, even if it was just in his head.

_Fuck._

He was trying as hard as he could to block the thoughts, to block everything, but it didn’t really change the fact that this kid was already under his skin, did it?

  
As he walked towards the sitting area, looking for someone he knew, maybe, just checking who was around, an arm flung around his shoulders and a voice shouted in his ear, “Jooooshy!”

JJ was practically on fire tonight without a single care in the world to stop him; or so it seemed.

“Hey, mate, what’s up?”, Josh said, smiling at him. Damn, he envied his ability to lose himself like that. JJ laughed.

“Oh, you have no idea…” he started, sitting next to Josh on one of the sofas, laughter keeping him from finishing the sentence. He cleared his throat and then tried again, changing the subject. “Hey, listen, have you seen Georgie around? He was with Jaymi, but I really don’t feel like talking to him right now-”

Somewhere along that sentence, Josh lost himself in thoughts again, a sudden alarm piercing through his alcohol induced daze.

_George is here?_

“George is here?” he asked before he thought about it. JJ stopped talking, raising his eyebrows with a smirk on his face, looking at Josh. “Yeah, he is, have you seen him?”

Josh wasn’t really listening. His mind wasn’t making shit up. He wasn’t crazy, yet. But then, why was the kid so…upset? There had to be a legitimate reason, right?

Was it the girl? Did George know her?

 _Shit_. Did he like her?

“JJ, I think I just made out with the kid’s girlfriend.”

He had absolutely no idea what possessed him to say that, and he wasn’t even going to try to explain to himself why the hell he even cared if he did kiss the kid’s  _girlfriend_. That kid was like undiscovered ground – everything with him was new and strange and unrelatable to anything Josh had lived or felt before.

JJ’s eyes widened comically and then he broke off laughing like a mad man. Josh blinked several times, trying to focus again. JJ’s response left him extremely confused. Was everyone going mental in this place?

When JJ got his breath back he looked at Josh as if he was the most clueless human being in his world. Josh was actually starting to feel like he really was.

“Josh, George doesn’t have girlfriends; never have, and probably never will,” he said. Josh was about to cut in and say that that was probably being too harsh on the kid when JJ added, “He doesn’t like girls. Little Georgie is gay, Josh,” and patted his back a few times with a very amused look on his face.

 _Oh._ That… that changed everything, didn’t it? As George’s expression came to his mind again, suddenly everything started making a little bit more sense.

He felt his stomach drop.

Josh was probably wrong, but now that he thought about that, he’d seen that look in a lot of girl’s faces before as he abandoned, replaced or ignored them.

He couldn’t describe how he felt about George possibly having some kind of  _thing_  for him, because he didn’t really know what he was feeling right now. His mind was too overloaded and it was getting harder to explain things – he needed to get out of here.

“Look, will you ask Jaymi about George for me? I just need to take the kid home,” JJ said, looking at his watch; it was nearly three a.m. already.

“Oh no way, you two need to talk, this whole not talking thing is doing no one any good, Hamblett!” Josh said, a little annoyed, and suddenly a thought crossed his mind, and before he could really think about it he was talking again.“I’ll take George home, you stay here with Jaymi and talk to him, JJ.”

And he didn’t even give him time to say anything. He just stood up - a little bit too fast – and headed towards the bar, looking around for George.

He didn’t even remember what he was wearing or where he could find him. And also, what the hell was he going to say to him when he did find him?

Whatever he did, Josh knew he had to take that stupid idea out of the kid’s head, because, forgetting the  _gay_  part, everything was dangerous enough for George already without him actually being connected to Josh. Imagine if he really was.

 _Not that he ever would be, because, no he never would._  Josh’s mind provided immediately. It was all completely hypothetical.

Damn it! How could he even deal with something like this? Emotions were not his forte.

He shook his head, and after taking a shot with Greg and Dan, he headed towards the bathroom. He had a feeling he’d probably find him somewhere over there.

 

~ 

 

George was leaning against the sink, trying to convince himself to  _grow up, it’s not the end of the world, you’ve been here before and you managed to move on well enough._

But the memories of his dream came back every single time and knocked him right back down, seducing his mind with the fake promise of safety and comfort inside Josh’s arms and something more - the idea of the warmth of his skin that’d he’d never feel and that only became more desirable for that exact reason.

"Are you alright?" He was startled by a voice right next to him, and his eyes shot up to the mirror, finding a pair of grey ones. It belonged to a guy probably older than JJ that he’d never seen before.

"I’m fine," George said. The other boy rose his eyebrows.

"You don’t look fine. In fact, you look worried," he said, leaning back against the wall, still facing George through the mirror.

"Everyone has their problems," George mumbled, breaking eye contact, hoping the guy would just go and leave him to deal with his  _problems_.

"I’ve been told I’m quite good at making people forget about their problems."

George’s eyes shot up once again, meeting the other boy’s. Was he suggesting…?

"What?" George couldn’t help asking, brow furrowed at this peculiar stranger. He smiled.

"You heard me…" he said and George started feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Distracting me from my problems won’t make them go away," he said, and the boy’s expression turned thoughtful for a moment as if considering George’s opinion.

"Yes, but it’ll empty your mind for a bit and you’ll be able to relax." The boy moved away from the wall as he talked, nearing George who was suddenly feeling very tense.

He didn’t say anything, and as the boy leaned sideways against the sink to face George, he took a small plastic bag out of his pocket with a few pills in it and showed it to George as he said, “Just say you want it and I can do it for you…”

George’s immediate instinct was to say no and fly out of the room as fast as he could, but for some reason he found himself eyeing the pills.

His life was a freaking mess. He got beat up in school for being gay and his parents were clueless, willing to ignore the subject until it went away. He moved to a new messed up city where he knew no one and people were cold and distant and he had no friends. His best friend ran away from him and George almost got himself killed looking for him.  JJ, his cousin and only person here he really knew, was constantly hiding things from him. And he now found himself feeling things towards Josh, the guy who saved him and had a gun and he knew nothing about.

His head was pounding and he felt sick suddenly. George closed his eyes for a moment.

He was always taught drugs were never the solution for anything, just the cause of more problems. But right now, when everything was already so screwed up and he felt like his head was going to blow up, he just wanted a pause from everything; he just wanted to stop thinking.

As he opened his eyes, the other boy was smiling at him. He took George’s hand and placed a small white pill in his palm “Try it,” he said and blinked at him, moving to the door right after. Before he opened it, he looked at George again through the mirror. “Oh, just tell me something, you don’t have any kind of heart problems do you?”

George shook his head.  _I have but not scientific ones._

The boy smiled at him again and nodded, leaving the bathroom.

Alone again, George stared at the pill in his hand. His heart was beating quite fast inside his ribcage and never in his life had a pill been so appealing.

 

~

 

Jaymi couldn’t find JJ anywhere, and he was getting so angry and snappy at everyone that he just decided to go up to the office before he started shooting people.

Leaning against the one-way glass window of the office, he searched for JJ in the crowd but couldn’t find him. Jaymi was way past the point of trying to deny he was jealous. What was the point in that? Even if he screamed his denial out loud at the top of a mountain for the whole world to hear, he’d still know deep inside he was jealous. Because he liked JJ, and simply saying he didn’t wasn’t changing that.

“I think we need to talk.” Jaymi’s head snapped up to find JJ leaning against the closed door, so relaxed that it made Jaymi angry just to look at him.

“Oh, now you want to talk?” Jaymi said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. JJ rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, Jaymi, don’t be like that,” he said, and Jaymi almost laughed.

“Don’t be like what? What am I being like, JJ?” He couldn’t help the aggressiveness in his voice. He was so mad at him it wasn’t even rational anymore.

JJ’s brow furrowed with incredulity. 

“Are you serious right now? What the fuck gave  _you_ the right to me mad  _at me_?” the older boy said, nearing Jaymi. The other boy didn’t even flinch. “You were the one hiding shit from me in the first place. Shit about  _my cousin_ , Jaymi!”

He was right, and Jaymi knew he had every right to be pissed off, but he was blinded by jealousy and anger right now, and he just didn’t care.

“Oh, you didn’t seem that worried about George a few minutes ago when you were sticking your tongue down that guy’s fucking throat!” he shouted, taking the last few steps between them and standing a few inches away from JJ.

JJ was silent for a moment, not taking a single step back. Then he said, “Is that what this is about, Jaymi?”

Suddenly Jaymi realized what he had just said.  _Fuck._

He took a step back, his anger suddenly dissolved, replaced by the dread of having JJ finding about his  _feelings_.

“What…” he said, but it came out like a whisper and JJ didn’t even give him time to organize his thoughts. He grabbed Jaymi’s wrist, keeping him from turning around and stepping away from him.

“You heard me. Is that what really bothered you? Me kissing someone else?”

Jaymi felt his heart hammering in his chest. “No,” he said, but it was so obviously fake that even he flinched internally.

“Don’t lie to me, Jaymi!” JJ said, shaking him. Jaymi tried taking his wrist out of his grasp and said, “Let go of me,” but the other boy didn’t listen.

Despite Jaymi’s struggle to get out of his grasp, JJ just grabbed his other arm, forcing him to walk backwards until his back hit the wall right behind his desk, where he pinned Jaymi’s wrists up, his face just an inch away from his.

Jaymi’s heart was beating so loud, he was sure JJ could hear it, even with the bass beat of the music of the club. JJ’s eyes were wandering all over Jaymi’s face. “Damn it, Jaymi, you’re so stupid,” he whispered, eyes locking with Jaymi’s. He felt outraged with JJ’s words, but before he could react, JJ’s face was buried in his neck, and he was setting one of his hands free in order to let his slide to the other side of Jaymi’s neck, holding him in place.

Jaymi couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath when he felt JJ’s lips kissing his skin gently.

A million butterflies were set free inside his stomach, and his breathing and heartbeat was so fast that he thought he might have an attack or simply faint.

JJ never did this before.  _Never_. Just teasing with words and smiles, but he never had touched Jaymi like this, and this was the line. He was crossing it and Jaymi couldn’t let him.

“JJ, stop,” Jaymi pleaded in a whisper.  _Don’t do this, you don’t know what you’re really  doing to me._

“Why?” was JJ’s only reply.  _Because this means more to me than it’ll ever mean to you._

Jaymi’s free hand found his way to JJ’s shoulder, and he meant to push him away, but then JJ bit him softly, sending a wave of shivers down his back, and he had to grip his shoulder to stop himself from falling.

JJ pulled back to look him in the eye.“Why do you keep pushing me away when I can see you don’t really want to?” he asked, his eyes alternating between Jaymi’s eyes and  lips. “Stop doing that, Jaymi, because it’s driving me crazy.” JJ took a last small step, pressing his whole body against Jaymi’s. “I don’t know what else I need to say to convince you to just…” he stopped.

“I refuse to be another one of your numbers, JJ.”

JJ scrunched his face, closing his eyes and biting his lip, as his fingers curled into a fist that he laid on the wall next to Jaymi. “For fuck’s sake, Jaymi! Don’t you understand-?” he pleaded, but Jaymi cut him off.

“No,  _you_  don’t understand,” he said, pushing him away with shaky hands to skirt around him, leaning against the desk and yearning to run right back into his arms. “You always do this, you always tease me and I don’t know where the fucking limits are anymore! I don’t know what’s real and what’s not with you!”

He didn’t dare face him as he spoke. Damn it, this was it. There was no turning back now.

“Everything is real, Jaymi!” JJ said in his ear. His arms were around Jaymi, his fingers playing with the skin on his abdomen, and Jaymi was finding it very hard to control himself and resist. “I can show it to you,” he whispered.

And that was it for Jaymi. He could feel all his resistance fading away with JJ’s words, because there was absolutely nothing that he wanted more than JJ.

_He’s going to break my heart either way…_

So Jaymi slapped JJ’s hands away from him and turned around, pushing him against the wall with a strong shove and going right after him, grabbing his shirt in two fists and crashing his lips against JJ’s. It was like he set them both on fire.

Immediately, JJ’s hands were pulling him closer by his hips, and his tongue was forcing his way into Jaymi’s mouth going after him with such eagerness that he forced Jaymi’s back to bend.

Walking backwards to not fall, Jaymi found himself against the desk again, a hand reaching back to balance himself.

JJ was already taking Jaymi’s blazer off without breaking the kiss, throwing it around carelessly. Jaymi’s hands were fumbling with JJ’s leather jacket, and when he managed to take it off, he had to stop to look at him. The damned shirt really was half see-through and it fit JJ so well – for a moment he was left breathless by how gorgeous he was, with swollen lips and glazed eyes its pupils blown.

“Fuck,” Jaymi whispered and JJ bit his lip, and, letting go of Jaymi, he used his arms to swipe every single item on the desk to the floor, proceeding to lift Jaymi up by his hips to sit him on the desk.

His lips found Jaymi’s again, and his legs wrapped around JJ. With a hand holding Jaymi’s jaw still, he started kissing down his throat, his other hand fumbling with the buttons of Jaymi’s shirt.

JJ felt like his whole body was on fire, he‘d waited for this for so long he still couldn’t quite believe it was happening. His mind was completely lost in Jaymi,  _Jaymi, Jaymi, Jaymi_.

His body moved alone, like it was in autopilot, and it was only when he heard Jaymi’s whimpers that he realized he was moving his hips against Jaymi’s. He could feel the outline of Jaymi’s erection and a huge wave of heat invaded him, his veins were burning and it felt  _so good_.

Clothes felt like they were suffocating him at this point.

As if on cue, Jaymi’s hands were on his shirt, pulling it up, taking it off.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, Jaymi,” he said, against his lips, his hips giving a significantly stronger thrust against Jaymi’s, making his lips part in a silent moan, hands gripping JJ’s shoulders.

“Shh,” Jaymi silenced him, “just shut up, don’t-don’t talk.”

Moving closer to the edge of the desk, Jaymi let his hands wander down JJ’s back, his nails scraping and only increasing JJ’s grinding.

It felt so good – from the friction to the heat JJ was emitting, he felt like  _a fucking teenager_ , so close to coming without even actual contact.

But it was electrifying, all the accumulated sexual tension between them finally being resolved, and it was messy and too fast and careless, but this was JJ and it was perfect.

Hand gripping Jaymi’s half buttoned shirt, JJ kissed him again, moving his hips faster against his, making Jaymi let out little sounds in between the kiss, and it all felt so fucking glorious, he didn’t even care if they were just grinding or going all the way. It was Jaymi’s hands scratching down his back and it was mind blowing.

All too soon, JJ felt the heat pool low in his abdomen, and his heart was beating faster and faster and then, “JJ…!”

Jaymi was moaning his name. JJ thought his whole brain had melted from the fire consuming him at that point. He couldn’t take it any longer, and by the looks of it, neither could Jaymi.

With all ideas of going any further abandoning both of them, JJ leaned further against Jaymi, almost making him lay down on the desk. He was already almost there and with the change in the angle and a last thrust, Jaymi came undone, scratching down JJ’s back hard and sending the other boy over the edge with him crying out “Jaymi!” as he did.

JJ’s knees gave out and suddenly he found himself on his knees on the floor, breathing fast, his forehead against Jaymi’s knee and this arm wrapping around the boy’s leg for support. “Holy fuck, that was amazing,” he whispered, chuckling breathless, closing his eyes, enjoying the aftershocks still cursing through him and feeling Jaymi’s hand on his hair.

Jaymi was still finding it very hard to believe what they’d just done.

With one hand on the desk behind him to keep him up, and the other one playing with JJ’s hair, he closed his eyes, and a brief smile graced his lips before he whispered, “Yeah…”

But then the smile was gone, and he looked down at JJ and a sudden sharp blow struck his heart.

_But it’ll never mean to you what it meant to me._


	9. Chapter 8

* * *

 

 

 

 

****

There was this guy that Josh really didn’t like. Well, there was a lot more than one guy, but this one in particular was relatively closer to Josh than all the others, and he really, _really_  didn’t like him. He was a fucking bastard who sold inside the club, all smiles and _good intentions_. He’d seen him only a couple of times around here, but he could see right through him.

Josh knew very well what he was doing; that motherfucker was selling roofies and other date rape drugs.

Josh did some pretty fucked up shit already, but  _that_  was something he despised with every fiber of his being, and guys like that only made him want to beat the shit out of them.

He’d seen a lot of girls end up unconscious in the middle of the street, their clothes ripped off, raped, beaten up or dead. All because of creeps like that. One thing was choosing to get high or addicted to drugs and fuck your life up by your own choice; another was someone putting something in your drink and taking advantage of you in all ways possible, leaving you defenseless.

It was repulsive.

As Josh was going towards the bathroom, that same guy was leaving, a smile on his face – always that fucking sly smile on his face that infuriated Josh. He was up to something, Josh was sure.

He stopped in his tracks, turning around to see him approaching another guy dressed in black, a serious expression on his face and looking around constantly, as if checking if no one was watching him. The very posture of the guy screamed shady to Josh.

Josh’s jaw tensed.  _That fucking bastard_.

He had to find George, but he just couldn’t not do something about this.

Making up his mind, he decided to go find Dan and tell him and the other security guards to keep an eye on that guy.

He took a while looking for Dan, even checking the back exit that only a few people knew about that went straight to  _the alley_.

He finally found him talking to Greg at the bar and told them both to pay attention to that asshole.

As soon as he did, he returned to his task of finding George.

The effect of the alcohol was practically null at this point, but Josh wasn’t worried about it – in fact it was beneficial in a way, since he did have to drive the kid home.  
That kid wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and he still hadn’t check the bathroom, because of that  _fucking-_

 _He was leaving the bathroom,_ his mind provided. The only place Josh hadn’t checked for George yet. As if struck by something, he felt his insides turn ice cold at the mental image that had just formed in his head. The feeling was so foreign to Josh he was dumbfounded for a second, before his brain started to scream the boy’s name at him, making him move.

He might have shoved some people that were in his way with way too much strength, but he didn’t care; all he cared about right now was that kid.

For a brief moment, he almost appreciated the irony of this whole night, but it was just a passing insignificant thought in the sea of all the mental images of the scenarios he might find as soon as he opened that door, each one equally as dreadful.

It didn’t stop him from storming through the short hall, opening the bathroom door with a banging noise as it hit the wall. There, with his back to him as he faced the wall with his forehead resting on his arm, was George, and  _thank god_ he was alone.

"Kid," Josh found himself calling as he strode to him. "George!"

He yanked George by the arm when the boy didn’t answer, and George just  _fell_  into his arms, head falling against Josh’s chest. Immediately Josh’s arm was around George’s torso, holding him up against him, his other hand grabbing the kid’s chin, pulling his face up to look at him.

George’s brown eyes were dazed and shiny, and as soon as they locked with Josh’s blue ones a smile grew on his face.

"Hi," he said. George’s hand came up to Josh’s shoulders, holding himself up and closer to Josh, while the other was scratching at his own collar bones and neck.

Josh felt his heart tightening - he knew that look way too well. Josh wasn’t even bothered by the sudden closeness between them. “What the fuck did you do, kid?”

It was a rhetorical question. He was drugged, and by the looks of it, it hadn’t been long since he’d taken whatever it was that bastard gave him - probably pills.

Anger started boiling in his blood so violently he felt capable of killing that motherfucker - even if staining the floor with his blood would piss Jaymi off. That son of a bitch was probably planning on drugging the kid so he could take advantage of him - it wouldn’t be a first.

He felt a wave of something wash over him, and despite everything he was trying to ignore so far tonight, he held George a little bit closer against his body, taking his hand off of his collar bones, which were already red.

The only time he felt something similar to this was towards Megan, back in France, but it didn’t compare to the intensity of whatever he was feeling right now. With Megan it was different because he knew she could take care of herself.

But not this kid; he was so defenseless - it was kind of scary.  
He never felt this thing, this…  _protectiveness_  over someone.  _But I never met someone like this kid, either._

"Hey, hey," he called, trying to keep George’s attention on him.  _"George."_

At that, George smiled, looking at him. “I like how you say my name,” he said, and Josh felt himself tense. “You should say it more.”

"Listen to me," Josh said, trying to ignore George’s words. "You took something, who gave it to you?"

Even though he was almost sure it was that roofies guy, he still needed to be positive, to know exactly what he gave the kid. George bit his lip, as if worried about something, and squinted his eyes, bringing a hand to his head, rubbing his temples.

"I don’t know, he had a brown jacket and he looked good," he said, confirming Josh’s suspicions. With his jaw set he took a deep breath and was already taking a step back from George when the other boy used the hands on his shoulders to keep him close. "No, no, no don’t go back to that b-“ he stopped himself, the fingers on his temples spasming and his jaw setting, “stay here." His eyes were wandering all over Josh. "You look so much better than him," he mumbled, staring at Josh’s exposed collar bones and the ink of the edges of the tattoos showing. “Than anyone, really…"

 _Shit,_  Josh thought,  _it’s starting to kick in._ He grabbed the kid’s spasming fingers, holding them in between their chests.

He knew about the drug’s effects well enough to not take anything George said seriously. His mind was probably a mess right now, and the things he said he didn’t mean.

"Look,  _George,”_  he smiled at Josh, and it was so genuinely happy Josh lost his track for a moment, “I need you to stay here-“

He hadn’t even finished the sentence when George was already shaking his head, his hands gripping Josh’s shirt. “No, listen to me, I’ll be right back, I promise.”  
George still wasn’t convinced, so, fighting back the urge to roll his eyes or sigh impatiently he added, “Don’t you trust me?”

At that George nodded and slowly let go of him. Josh had to be quick in finding out what that idiot gave the kid; he couldn’t leave George alone for too long. This first phase was the dazed one, before the drug kicked in. Looking at George’s spasming fingers and set jaw, he could tell it wasn’t going to be long before he was gone.

There really wasn’t anything more to do but take care of the kid, so all the anger Josh was feeling right now was being channeled to the motherfucker who took advantage of George’s problems to do this to him.

He strode out of the bathroom, jaw tense and fingers curled in fists, ready to kill that guy with his bare hands.

He spotted him talking to a couple of girls, probably selling them something too, and he didn’t even think twice.

Grabbing the guy by the collars of his brown jacket, Josh almost lifted him off of the floor, resisting the urge to break his face on the spot.

“Woah, what the fuck, man!” he protested, hands on top of Josh’s, comma trying to set himself free.

“That kid in the bathroom,” he said with a coolness that made the other guy shut up immediately, despite the obvious tension coiled in Josh’s body.“What the fuck did you give him?” The girls he was talking to were long gone and everyone around them was glancing at them, giving them some space, but carrying on with their lives. Smart individuals.

At the mention of that, the infuriating smile of his grew on his face, smugger than ever.

“What do you think, mate? I just tamed him a little bit, to enjoy better later,” he said, and winked at Josh.

Without thinking about the consequences and driven by a sudden impulse of pure fury, Josh drew his gun out of its holster on his belt and pressed it under the guy’s jaw, so smoothly and quickly that the other guy was totally caught by surprise.

“Wanna try that again,” Josh said, his expression blank, his eyes like ice, “ _mate?_ ” he spat, his coldness on the outside the exact opposite of the burning anger he was feeling at that moment towards the guy.

He smiled, holding his hands up slowly, calmly, and his act fell like a mask .

“Relax Cuthbert, it was only ecstasy, I did the kid a favor,” he said. Josh wasn’t surprised he knew his name; a lot of people did. What really surprised him was the ease and familiarity he said if with – as if he  _knew_ him.

Josh was good with faces – he hardly ever forgot someone he met, and he was absolutely sure he had never met this asshole before.

He had what he wanted already, and even though it would feel so damn good to kick this bastard’s teeth in, he lowered his gun, putting it back in its holster, and turned away, ready to go back to George.

The other guy laughed out loud. “Wow, you really  _do_  care about the kid, don’t you, Cuthbert? I thought Walker wasn’t serious. I mean,  _the_  Josh Cuthbert  _caring_  for another soul? Pretty hard to believe, mate, but you just proved me all wrong,” he called out in a mocking tone.

Josh stopped in his tracks, hands curling into fists, closing his eyes and biting his lip as he took a deep breath to calm himself and not kill anyone tonight.

He turned around, facing him again. “So, you work for Walker. I’ve never seen you with him before,” Josh said, ignoring every single insinuation he made, keeping as much distance as he could from him in order to still hear him talk above the music.

The guy scoffed. “My name’s Zac Burke, and no, I don’t work  _for_  Walker. I work  _with_ Walker. “

Josh resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Walker needs to get the fuck over it – I’m sure the loss wasn’t that big,” he said. Burke laughed at that.

“You think all this is about you calling your deal off? You actually think this is Walker’s doing? C’mon, Josh, you’re a sharp bloke.” he said, the smile still on his lips. There was a pause, and then, adopting a different, more serious posture, Burke said, “He’s looking for you, you know? It’s only a matter of time before he finds you and your… _boyfriend_.”

Josh didn’t need Zac to say who he was talking about; he knew it very well.  _Belrose._

Josh didn’t say anything. He turned around instead, striding back to the bathroom and George.

He didn’t have the time or patience to even consider Burke’s stupid empty threats. And if he thought he would  _scare_  him by messing with George, he was wrong. The only thing he and Walker would achieve was a sooner  _retirement,_  with an empty grave awaiting both of them.

Pushing the door open, Josh entered the bathroom to find it apparently empty.  _Shit, this is not good._

The thing about ecstasy was that it took a while to hit, and during that time headaches were usual, as well as itchiness and uncontrolled spasms of your muscles or even cloudy vision. That was the phase Josh had found George in.

However, after the drug started kicking in, he’d feel hot and thirsty. He’d feel relaxed, like he’s flying, like everyone is a friend, and would be super affectionate towards everyone. And the lights and music out there would only make it worse – or better.

_Damn it!_

He stepped inside the bathroom, the door closing behind him, and as he was preparing himself to check every single stall, a figure flung at him from his side. With a pair of arms around his neck, the unexpectedness of the gesture made Josh stumble to the opposite wall, and soon enough he was pressing a glassy-eyed George against the wall, one hand holding him in place by his neck and the other thrown back, ready to punch if he needed to.

The lazy smile on George’s mouth didn’t flutter for a second. Even with Josh’s body pressing him against the wall, George wouldn’t stand still.

“Fucking hell, kid!” Josh complained, taking his hand off the boy’s neck.

He was ready to give him some personal space when George grabbed Josh’s arms and pulled him closer, startling him into silence.

“I really want to dance, Josh,” he said, and, biting his lip, he brought Josh’s hands down to rest low on his hips. “Dance with me, Josh,” he whispered, the other hand around Josh’s neck pulling him closer, his hips shooting inching’ forward and connecting with Josh’s the second he felt the weight of Josh’s hands on his hips.

For a moment, his fingers curled around George’s hip, and then, as if shocked by it, Josh jumped back, mouth ajar, brow furrowed, looking at the teen in front of him, completely shocked.

He had to mentally slap himself to remember that this was  _the drug_  and not George acting. But still, it was all a bit overwhelming; he wasn’t used to this kind of…  _affection_ coming from a boy.

Unlike Jaymi and JJ, he wasn’t that comfortable with this kind of stuff.

George fancied boys and that was okay, but all this forwardness, drug or no drug, was leaving Josh a bit bothered, especially because it didn’t feel as wrong as it probably should.

George was completely lost, too relaxed to even be offended by Josh’s sudden distance. He was dancing alone, eyes closed and that smile always on his face – whenever he looked at Josh it just widened.

He had a nice smile, Josh decided. Even if the circumstances weren’t exactly the best, it was good seeing the kid smiling instead of afraid or hurt.

It was much better.

Josh really didn’t know when exactly he started caring about this kid like this; he met him quite literally a few days ago, it was unreal. But truth be told, he kind of did care enough to want the kid somewhere safe, and right now, this club was as far from that as possible.

He took the kid’s wrist. “C’mon, George,” he said, pulling him out of the bathroom, “let’s get out of here.”

Immediately, George slid his hand so it fit in Josh’s. The older boy felt super aware of his touch, but still didn’t do anything to stop the kid.

“Are we going to dance now?” George asked, getting closer to Josh as both of them made their way back into the mess of dancing bodies.

Josh turned around to talk in his ear. “We’re going to get you some water first,” he said, noticing the sweat on George’s forehead. At the mention of water, George pulled at his denim jacket, swallowing.

“Yeah, okay, I’m kind of thirsty.”

_Of course you are._

The water was also an excuse to take the boy out of the confusion and drag him home more easily, but George wasn’t listening to Josh. All he wanted to do was dance, and he kept telling Josh as much, squeezing his hand, – that he refused to let go of – talking in his ear, using every stranger’s passage to brush against Josh and blame it on the lack of space.

It was ridiculous, and finally Josh gave in to him. “Fine, you go dance then,” he said.

But George, laughing, shook his head and got closer to Josh, speaking in his ear. “No, you have to come dance with me.” Then he just pulled Josh towards the middle of the dance floor.

Josh could’ve resisted easily - in fact, he could‘ve just dragged George out of this place right now if he wanted to. But considering he was riding  _a motorcycle_ , he actually had to convince George to come with him, or else he might go crazy and make them both fall off.

So Josh went with him, and when George stopped, smiling at him, he was dancing so carelessly it was hypnotic. He never looked more satisfied to Josh, and it was overwhelming how much the state of mind of that kid affected Josh.

It was like he himself was high; on George.

He watched the boy dance for a while, lost in the image in front of him, until he found himself moving forward, getting closer to him.

George wasted no time and wrapped his arms around Josh, his whole body touching Josh’s, and it felt magical.

“It’s so hot in here,” George mumbled in Josh’s ear.

The older boy had a hand around his torso, mainly to keep him up straight – at least that’s what he was telling himself.

“Let’s get out of here, then,” Josh said, taking the opportunity, a small smile growing on his face. George nodded and stepped back a little to face him.

Josh took his arm again, pulling him out of there. As they made their way out of the dance floor as fast as they could, Josh could hear George’s laugh behind him.

“Are we running away, Josh?” George shouted behind him in a hopeful voice. And Josh actually laughed at that; for some reason it reminded him of all those stupid girls in the movies and all kinds of fairy tales.

Reaching the door and saluting the security, he turned around to face him, laugh still coloring his voice. “Yeah, we’re running away,  _Princess_.”


	10. Chapter 9

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Jaymi’s office wasn’t very big. Besides the desk, chairs and archive cabinets, there was a small sofa and a closet where he had spare clothes - after all, this was a club; you never knew when someone was going to ruin your jacket.

With a pair of Jaymi’s clean boxers and his own clothes back on, JJ was sitting on the sofa, barefoot, one knee drawn against his chest as he watched Jaymi reorganizing everything on his desk again.

He had a smile on his face he just couldn’t get rid of. Resting his cheek on his knee, he tried to hide it, but it was impossible; every time Jaymi glanced in his direction and their gazes met, he could still see the flush on his cheeks and the dazed look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I broke your lamp,” JJ said, and Jaymi had to bite his lip to hide a smile. JJ hid his behind his knee.

“It’s okay, it was old, anyway,” Jaymi answered without looking at him.

There was silence for a few moments before JJ called him, voice soft. “Jaymi?”

The other boy looked at him. “Come here,” JJ said. JJ was feeling a sudden urge to just feel Jaymi next to him, to hold him and feel his body heat - to just kiss him.

Jaymi stopped what he was doing and reluctantly moved towards JJ, sitting a few inches away from him on the sofa. Jaymi wasn’t sure why he was feeling so cautious around JJ after what they had just done. Maybe he was afraid to get too close – as if he could possibly get any closer – and have JJ find out how deep his feelings for him were.

JJ had no idea, and he wanted to keep it that way; if JJ knew, he would either distance himself from Jaymi or use him – either way, he’d break his heart.

But as soon as he sat next to him, JJ wrapped his arms around him, gently pulling Jaymi towards himself as he turned around on the sofa to face Jaymi.

Jaymi didn’t do anything to stop him, instead putting his hand on the arm rest behind JJ to balance himself and slide closer to him, JJ’s legs on either side of him, creating the gap he needed to let his body fall against JJ’s.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about George,” Jaymi whispered. Suddenly they were in this bubble that didn’t feel real to Jaymi, and he was afraid he’d break it if he talked too loud or moved too fast.

JJ brought his forehead against his and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry I overreacted too,” he whispered back.

Then he leaned in and gently, so, so gently, let his lips brush Jaymi’s.

For Jaymi, it felt like the moment right before his very first kiss. Unlike before, where all he could see and feel was fire every time JJ touched him, now there was this comfy warmth in his belly and a bunch of butterflies playing around.

“Josh took George home,” JJ whispered against Jaymi’s lips, “but he doesn’t have the keys to my flat.”

“So they’ll stay at mine,” Jaymi concluded, and then felt as a smile grew on JJ’s mouth.

“That means we have a whole flat to ourselves,” JJ said, eyes closed, nose brushing against Jaymi’s.

Jaymi chuckled at that. “I guess Dan and Greg will have to close tonight.” JJ’s smile just widened, his hands pulling Jaymi closer by his shirt.

Jaymi could hear his heart beat quickening, beating hard against his ribcage, and feel his blood rushing in his veins, all because JJ’s mouth was against his, sucking the air left in between and sealing their lips like he meant to stay there - like this - forever.

And as he moved his head slightly – slowly – to the side and parted his lips to let the tip of his tongue invite Jaymi’s to part as well, he decided that if JJ really wanted to stay like this forever, he really wouldn’t mind.

 

~

 

By the time Josh hopped off his motorcycle and took his helmet off of George’s head, the boy was still smiling like an idiot.

“You drive so fast!” he said, and Josh was reminded of the first time he gave the kid a lift back to school. He rolled his eyes, and, holding the helmet in one hand, held a hand out to help George get out.

George took it immediately and swung a leg over the bike in order to hop off, but he was so rushed to get off that he ended up tripping on his own feet, with Josh’s free arm around him holding him up. It was becoming a reflex to Josh to hold this kid up, and at this point the closeness wasn’t even bothering him anymore.

The kid laughed, the sound echoing through the underground garage, his head falling against Josh’s shoulder. “My legs feel funny,” he chuckled, looking up at Josh.

The older boy had his eyebrows raised as he looked at him. “C’mon kid, let’s just go home,” he said.

At that, George pouted. “Stop calling me kid.”

_Stop calling me that. I am not a kid, Megan!_

Josh shook his head at the unexpected memory. For some reason his mind kept comparing Megan to what was going on with George. But it was so different in so many ways.

When Josh felt the kid backing away from him, his focus returned.‘George was fumbling with his denim jacket, fingers shaking. “I can’t go home, I feel so hot,” he said, managing to take his jacket off.

Josh grabbed it, along with the kids arm. “Yes, you can. Let’s go home and it’ll get better, I promise,” Josh said.

Like always, George listened to him and did exactly what he asked.

Back in Jaymi’s flat, he sat George on the sofa as he went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.

“I don’t feel like drinking, Josh, I’m not thirsty anymore,” George said, pushing the glass of water away when Josh returned with it.

“Yeah, well, you have to,” Josh said, sitting on the sofa next to him.

“No I don’t,” he said, sliding backwards on the sofa to put some distance between him and Josh.

“Do you want to feel like shit in the morning, then? You have to keep yourself hydrated, George!” Josh said, starting to become impatient. Stupid kid and his stupid stubbornness.

“I don’t care,” he said, crossing his arms. “I do what I want!”

Josh was losing his patience with him. Putting the glass on the coffee table and spilling some of the water, he leaned back on the sofa, taking a deep breath. He really couldn’t do this; he didn’t know how to deal with people – which was pretty ironic, with him being a  _dealer_.

This kid was getting on his nerves in a way he didn’t know how to handle.

“What do you want, then, huh?” he almost yelled, head snapping to look at him.

George looked at him, any kind of smile or dazed look gone from his face. His eyes were roaming all over Josh’s face and then Josh’s body.

In those clothes, he looked so different, but still so good. He really was gorgeous, George thought, in between all the randomness in his mind. Josh was like a devil with an angel’s face.

George had heard that kind of expression a lot of times, but never had he met someone who personified it so well.

Every time he looked at him, he just wanted to touch, to feel, to know if he was real or just something out of George’s mind. It wasn’t possible, though; his mind would never have the capacity to come up with someone like Josh – so intriguing, and beautiful and luring and untouchable.

Every single failed attempt he made that night to get closer to him, every attempt at dancing with him, at having him closer, at touching him, came back to George’s mind. He was just trying to get to Josh; he was trying to take his shot for once, to do more than just stand by. But the way Josh had jerked back told enough. He just wasn’t for George, and that was enough proof.

That, and him kissing that girl. He really wasn’t for George.

If Josh really was a product of his mind, then he wouldn’t be this untouchable – George wouldn’t be that hard on himself.

If he wasn’t real then he would at least be at George’s reach, and he would touch him, and make George feel good like he never had, like he was appreciated and even loved. He would want George and he would be crazy about him, just like George wanted him to be. If Josh was just his imagination, then he would’ve kissed him tonight, not that girl.

“I want-” George started, and his breath got caught in his throat, “I want to reach you. But you’re not letting me.”

Josh’s impatience and irritation faded away then, as he stared back at the kid without any single word coming to his mind to say to him.

George stood up then, and made his way up the stairs, to Jaymi’s room.

Josh stood up too and watched in silence, mouth ajar, eyebrows furrowed in a confused expression as George disappeared behind the closing door.

His mind was blank. He couldn’t think of a single thing right now. George struck him so unexpectedly Josh found himself lost for a moment, not sure what he was supposed to do.

His eyes fell on the glass of water on the table, and the answer appeared in his mind.

_Take care of him. I still have to take care of him._

If someone had told him a few weeks ago he’d be this invested in someones well being, he’d laugh until his abdomen hurt and then kick that idiot’s ass. _But just look at me now._

He grabbed the glass of water and made his way up the stairs to Jaymi’s room, where the kid was sitting in his bed, currently attempting to take his shoes off and failing miserably.

Josh slapped his hands away from his shoes and took them off himself with a very flushed George refusing to look at him.

"George," Josh started, taking off his jacket and catching George’s attention with the movement. George felt kind of ridiculous, but he couldn’t not look at the inked skin on Josh’s arms; he wanted to reach out and trace them with his fingers.

George’s mind was a mess; even if he wanted to think about the things he was feeling right now – like the urge  _to kiss_  Josh – he couldn’t. He was so invested in just looking at Josh, taking him all in.

He knew he wasn’t okay; he knew that he would never act like this if he was, but George didn’t care. He was glad for the courage mustering inside him that made him actually look, say something, do something. He had the morning to mourn the fact that he was making a complete fool out of himself.

Josh noticed his staring and, sighing, sat next to him on Jaymi’s bed.

"Whatever it is you think you want right now, it isn’t you," Josh said without looking at him. George frowned, confused. "It’s the drug, messing with your head," Josh finished, but George was already shaking his head.

Josh reminded himself of his mother talking and he felt angry, his fists clenching and jaw set, because his feelings weren’t fucking diseases that would go away with medicine. It didn’t work like that, even if he wished it did.

George felt his heart contract inside his chest; it hurt, it really hurt and he felt rejected and uncared for, alone with no one to understand what he was feeling, or even wanting to. He felt abandoned and attacked. It was the same feeling of when he was back home and everyone had found out about his sexuality.

And suddenly there was a sea of thoughts rushing inside his head. The same destructive and despairing thoughts that used to assault his mind in those lonely and scary nights when not even his mother was there to reassure him.

_He thinks your liking boys is drug induced. He thinks it’s some kind of disease. He probably thinks you’re disgusting, that’s why he backed away from you like that._

_He is so out of your league, what are you even thinking? He would never look at you that way. No one ever will; you’re pathetic. No one likes fags like you._

_He’s only putting up with you because of JJ._

_You’re sick._

_You’re disgusting._

_…I don’t want to be gay…_

He wasn’t aware of how ragged his breath was or how tightly he was holding on to the bed’s duvet until Josh was yelling his name and shaking him by his shoulders.

It was scary how glazed George’s eyes were right now. His breathing was too quick and uneven; it looked like he was having a panic attack. Josh was calling him, but it was like he wasn’t even listening.

The younger boy’s hands were clawing at his, trying to get out of Josh’s tight grip, and he was pushing himself back to the centre of the bed, trying to get away from his touch.

Josh wasn’t letting go though. He slid back right after him, and George fell on his back on the bed, hands fumbling with Josh’s as his unfocused eyes filled with tears and he tried to control his breathing.

“George, stop!” Josh was calling, but he wasn’t listening. He grabbed the boy’s jaw instead of his shoulder and came closer, locking eyes with him, only a few inches away from his face.

“Look at me,” he said, softly instead of yelling, holding his face still, and George’s eyes fixed on his and went still for a moment, looking at him like it was the first time he had ever seen him. “It’s okay, kid,” Josh said.

George’s lower lip trembled for a moment, and then he pushed Josh back, sitting up on the bed.

“Not it’s not,” he mumbled, getting up, pacing around.

Because it wasn’t. They had no idea what he was feeling, how consuming and hopeless it all was. They kept saying it’ll be okay, it’ll be fine, it’ll go away, but it wouldn’t

He had no idea what George was feeling, and acting like he did only made George mad.

“Get out of here,” George said, not looking at him.

“Kid-”

“Stop calling me kid and leave me the fuck alone!” George screamed.

There was a heavy silence after that in which Josh just looked at him, brow furrowed, gritting his teeth. George had his back to him, but his shoulders were shaking, whether because of the effects of the drug or something else, Josh didn’t know.

That was the first time he had ever heard George swearing.

He stood up in silence and got out of the room.

 

The next morning when he woke up Jaymi was already back and knew nothing about the drug; Josh didn’t tell him either. He was happy and Josh didn’t want to ruin his mood.

They didn’t talk about George and Josh didn’t see him, either – JJ had already picked him up.

Josh didn’t see George for the rest of the day.

In fact, he didn’t saw him again for almost two whole weeks.


	11. Chapter 10

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

George felt alone.

Since Micky left, he had a whole dorm for himself, and it felt too big and empty. He talked to people, but it wasn’t the same thing. He didn’t have the level of trust with them he had with Micky.

Everyone always said George was different and peculiar because he was always alone. They didn’t mean it in a bad way; they were actually quite friendly to George, but he just couldn’t bring himself to trust anyone else. He didn’t feel like talking about himself or listening to other people. He couldn’t bring himself to put in the effort of even seeming interested in the conversations. George felt so tired of people.

Being alone was easier.

He spent a lot of time outside after classes. Normally he only had classes until around noon, and then the rest of the afternoon was reserved for clubs and other extracurricular activities – they had a lot of those in here.

George was in some of them, mainly because he actually  _had to be_  in at least two. But the rest of the time, when he didn’t have to study, he just grabbed a book or his guitar and came outside. They were already in April – it was still chilly but it was getting nicer.

Even with the sun and all the green grass, trees,and bushes, and the mountains in the distance as scenery, George still felt hollow and depressed.

He missed Josh, in the most masochistic way possible; he really did.

Normally, after a rejection like that, he would back away; the distance would take care of everything and George would be fine.

But he was far from fine; every fibre of his being was aching for Josh and his protective aura.

 

~ 

 

“Special delivery,” JJ said, making his way into Jaymi’s flat, throwing a brown package at Josh, who was laying on the sofa, arm covering his eyes from the light. Somehow, he managed to catch the package before it hit the floor.

“Good afternoon to you too,” Jaymi said, coming out of the kitchen. JJ smiled at him, moving towards his direction.

With Josh’s back turned from them as he examined the brown package, JJ grabbed Jaymi by his shirt, ignoring his silent protests, wide eyed glances and hand gestures in Josh’s direction included, and kissed him.

Jaymi was pushing him away, trying his best to not draw Josh’s attention.

When JJ pulled back, he had a mischievous smirk on his face, and even though Jaymi was mad at him for doing this kind of surreptitious stuff whenever someone else was in the room with them, he couldn’t help the smile growing on his face too. 

Things were…  _different_ between them. They weren’t  _together_  or anything like that, they were just…  _closer_.

No one knew about it, of course, and that was mainly because in Jaymi’s opinion there was nothing to know about.

It wasn’t as bad as he initially thought it would be. He didn’t have to share JJ’s attention with anyone else, and that in itself was enough – Jaymi didn’t need _tittles_ , or for JJ to _make it official_ , or something like that. Honestly, Jaymi just needed JJ.

“That was quick,” Josh said when JJ joined him on the sofa.

“I woke up early and had some business to do around there, so I brought the drug with me,” JJ said, leaning back on the sofa, putting his feet on the coffee table in from of him.

“Hey, get your fucking dirty boots off of my table!” Jaymi said, kicking his legs out of the way as he walked in from of them to sit on one of the bean bags, TV remote in his hand.

“You, my friend, are good for business. This shit is selling like fucking hotcakes!” JJ said.

Josh shrugged. “I just have a lot of  _clients_.”

“Whatever you’re doing, keep on doing it,” the older boy said.

“JJ, have you found anything on Burke and Walker?” Josh asked after a short pause, looking at him expectantly. Jaymi’s attention was on both of them, forgetting about the television completely.

JJ sighed. “No,” he started, “but we’re still looking. I can’t do much without raising suspicions. Especially now that-”

“JJ!” Jaymi interrupted. Both of them shared looks that told Josh something was wrong – something they weren’t telling him.

“Now that what?” Josh asked, voice cautious as his gaze alternated between them both. Neither of them spoke. “JJ!” Josh called, squinting his eyes in suspicion. “Now that what?”

“Jaymi, we might as well tell him, it’s not like he’s not going to find out sooner or later,” JJ said, and Jaymi bit his lip.

“What?! What is it, for fucks sake, just tell me!” Josh demanded.

“Alright, look,” Jaymi said, taking a deep breath and positioning himself in the bean bag so that he was facing Josh.

“The police has been investigating that kid Micky’s disappearance, and they found evidence that connects the guy he was with to JJ,” Jaymi said. Josh frowned, his jaw tense all of a sudden – this was not good.

“It’s nothing concrete, they have nothing on the dealers I supply, but you know, I have to lay low. I don’t want them to start suspecting I have something to do with that kid and start tracking me or something. We’d all be fucked.” JJ said, and Josh had to agree.

He’d been arrested before – not because of anything related to drugs, but if he was caught now simply possessing he could go in for more than five years because he already had a record.

“I didn’t know they were investigating that kid’s  _disappearance_ ,” Josh said. He was pretty sure the kid had run away, not been taken.

“Yeah, that’s another thing; they believe the kid’s been a victim of human trafficking,” Jaymi said.

_“What?”_

“It’s very possible,” JJ said. “There’s been all kinds of rumours going around. They say they have guys on the street, luring the kids to ‘run away’ and then sell them like slaves.”

_I’m turning 18 in a few months… and then I can take off, just like Micky did, and no one can come look for me…_

George’s words invaded Josh’s mind suddenly.

It had been more than two weeks since he last laid eyes on that kid, but not a second had passed in which George wasn’t on his mind.

“Who do you think is behind this?” Josh heard Jaymi ask JJ, to which he answered “That roofies’ guy from the club; it just sounds like something he’d be involved in.”

It made sense, but Josh wasn’t paying attention to them anymore.

He thought of George, how broken inside he was and how vulnerable that made him to these people. He wanted to get out of here – he said it himself. He probably thought this wasn’t his place anymore and that there was nothing left for him here.

Josh would know how overwhelming and crushing that feeling could be – the feeling of not belonging, of having no one to prove him he did, the feeling of having no home.

Josh didn’t regret getting away. But he wished he had someone who had at least tried to make him stay.

“What are you thinking about there, Cuthbert?” Jaymi said with a smile, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Josh shook his head softly, dismissing the question. “Nothing important.”

There was a weird sensation in Josh’s chest as he laid back on the sofa, hearing but not really paying attention to Jaymi and JJ discussing the previous subject.

He could feel his chest constrict at the thought of George ever ending up in a place like that.

Somewhere inside, he knew it was up to him to do something. The kid was hurt, and Josh wasn’t really sure of the specific reasons, but he felt the need to do something about it, apologize, talk to him, something.

That kid made him feel grounded and high at the same time; it was nothing like  _Megan_. George was different from everyone Josh had ever met. He was  _the exact opposite_  of everything Josh thought he wanted – in every single way, and even though it was scary because he was just  _a boy_ , the way Josh already depended on him was fucking terrifying.

It had already been way too long since he last saw George. It didn’t matter if he pretend he wasn’t missing the kid, he still knew he was. He could spend another two weeks trying to ignore the urge to go talk to him, but Josh knew it wasn’t going to make the problem go away. It would only drive him mad.

He needed George just as much as George needed him right now.

Just the thought of it was dreadful. If there was an objective reason Josh didn’t like people, it was exactly this – this dependence on each other that could either make you feel like you’re on top of the world or crush your soul into nothingness.

He wasn’t good with feelings – never was. Ever since he was a kid, he was taught to hid his emotions, to control them, to not let himself be driven by impulses.

But right now he was determined to go against it all, otherwise he’d end up with his very soul wrecked by the compulsive need to just  _see_ that kid again.

“JJ,” Josh started, drawing his attention, “I need a favour…”

 

~

 

Josh was going to see him and that was it.

JJ really didn’t know exactly how things were between Josh and George – hell, Josh wasn’t even sure either of them knew – but he knew something went down between them that left George  _bothered_.

He didn’t ask either of them about it and when Josh asked him to have the school give him permission to visit George, he just nodded and went to call the school.

They didn’t allow strangers on school grounds, unless they were pointed out by a student’s parent or tutor. The school was known for many things, including the strictness of its security. They weren’t checking on each kid individually, but when it came to allowing other people inside they were pretty severe.

But JJ took care of it, and now Josh was already on his bike, stopping quickly at a gas station to fill up his tank.

Looking around as his tank was filling, his eyes stopped on a familiar blonde head across from him, and a pair of deep blue eyes fixed on his for a moment before she was gone, entering the passenger seat of a car and driving away.

 

~

 

It was already dark and  _so_  late. Belrose wasn’t home – again – and Josh was getting back from Megan’s room, walking the corridors barefoot, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans, t-shirt in his hands.

The guest room he was staying in was in the other end of the mansion and he was returning to it in complete darkness, hiding from her maids or the butler, or Megan’s own daughter.

He knew she knew what he was doing with her mother, and he knew it was breaking her heart to pieces - but honestly, he really didn’t care.

The only thing that mattered was that she wasn’t saying anything. She knew what would happen if she did, and even if it was breaking her very soul to know where Josh had come from, it would destroy her completely to not have him around at all.

As he made his way past her room, he heard the door cracking open, and the pretty blonde girl came out, her bright blue eyes red, looking for his.

“Josh?” she whispered. He stopped and turned around, his cold stare fixing on her.

“You should be asleep,” he said. “It’s late.”

She stepped out of the door, moving closer to him, and Josh noticed how the strap of her white pyjama top slid down her shoulder with the movement. Her hair was slightly dishevelled, falling around her face freely, and Josh noticed how natural her beauty really was.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she whispered.

She had been crying, Josh noticed. Probably because of him, but still Josh felt nothing about it. He just didn’t care.

She came closer to him, bringing her hands reluctantly up to his bare chest. “I wish I had what you are looking for,” she said, her voice shaking slightly.

He sighed, grabbing her wrists. “No one’s got what I’m looking for.”

“My mother seems to,” she said before she could stop herself. Josh went still for a moment, just looking at her, and then tried to push her gently away.

“Please don’t,” he said, rolling his eyes, impatient. He seriously couldn’t deal with this kind of shit right now.

She seemed to realize her mistake and corrected herself quickly. “No, wait, Josh, please,” she said, refusing to step away.

He looked down at her, jaw set, awaiting her next words.

“I just want to know what it feels like to be here, just once,” she said as she brought his arms around her waist, pressing herself against him. She looked into his eyes and, breathing heavily, she said, “I want to know what  _you_  feel like.”

So Josh kissed her. He kissed, and backed her against the wall a lot gentler than he would in normal circumstances. 

He kissed her neck and marked her the way he knew she so craved. He brought her back to her room and showed her exactly what she asked for.

He showed her what it felt like to be loved by him for just one night. He showed her what it felt like to fall asleep in his arms.

As she was drifting off to sleep, pressed against his chest, her fingers playing with his skin, she had a soft smile on her face, and her eyes were already closed when she mumbled, “I love you.”

Josh felt himself tense. “Gabriella-”

But she silenced him, a finger on his lips, opening her eyes for a brief moment to reveal the uncomplaining sadness in her eyes. “Shh, don’t say anything - I know,” she said.

And she closed her eyes, smiling as she added “And I’ve told you before; call me  _Ella_.”


	12. Chapter 11

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“I think Josh actually cares for George,” Jaymi said out of the blue, voice surprised as he cleaned the black granite counter.

JJ was sitting across from him, and besides the usual customers of the pub playing cards or snooker, they were the only ones there.

“Why do you say that?” JJ asked with a raised eyebrow. That was random.

“It’s just…” Jaymi started, “I’ve heard a lot of stories about Josh when he was back in France.”

Because of the proximity to the English Channel, there was a lot of French people that passed this town before heading to London. Jaymi had heard a lot about Josh and his _doings_  back in France.

“Jaymi, stories are so blown out of proportion, you can’t just believe everything you hear,” JJ said, shaking his head and smiling.

“All of them say he is the coldest son of a bitch they had ever met,” Jaymi said, paying no mind to JJ’s words. “He showed feelings for no one, he cared for no one. But,” Jaymi stopped for a beat, brow furrowing, “when it comes to George, he seems really concerned about the kid. I really think he kind of likes him but is so unused to liking people that he doesn’t know how to act.”

JJ looked at him for a moment and then he said, “That’s not a bad thing now, is it? His _feelings_  towards George?”

Something about his tone of voice made Jaymi stop what he was doing and look at him. “Those kind of feelings are never bad. I just don’t get why he doesn’t embrace them instead of fighting them, ” JJ added in a softer voice.

And Jaymi had a feeling they weren’t talking about Josh and George anymore. He refused to look at JJ. “Maybe he’s afraid of what he feels.”

JJ looked at him with a whole new seriousness on his face that told Jaymi this wasn’t about the other two boys anymore.

“He shouldn’t…”

At that moment, the door to the pub opened and two figures came in; a pretty blonde girl and a taller and older - also blond - guy.

Both their postures changed immediately as they approached the bar.

“Hi, what can I get you?” Jaymi said, smile on his face.

The girl sat on one of the stools while the guy just stood behind her, looking around, hands in his pockets. She turned around to look at him and then faced Jaymi again.

“Actually, we’d like some information,  _s’il vous plaît_ ,” she said, and even if she hadn’t just said  _please_  in French, her thick accent told them she wasn’t English.

It wasn’t surprising to have French people showing up – but she looked way too pretty and young to be involved in the sorts of things French people did here.

“Alright, how can I help you?” Jaymi said.

She smiled and stretched out her hand to Jaymi.“I’m Ella.“

He shook her hand gently. “I’m Jaymi, it’s nice to meet you. This is JJ,” he said, and JJ nodded, taking her hand and kissing it with all his charm. Jaymi almost rolled his eyes.

Ella smiled at him.

“So, I take it you’re not here alone?” JJ said, looking at the guy a few steps behind, who was still looking around.

Ella looked at him too. “Oh,  _non_ ,” she signaled him to get closer, “I’m here with James, he’s a distant cousin, but family nonetheless.”

The guy – James – didn’t seem to talk much, but still shook both Jaymi’s and JJ’s hands with a nod as she introduced him.

“Yeah, I can totally see the… resemblance,” JJ said, pointing at them both alternately.

“So, what do you need to know?” Jaymi asked, smile back on his face.

“I – hmm… I was wondering if you know a guy named Josh Cuthbert?” Ella said. When Jaymi’s soft smile was replaced by a growing frown, Ella felt the need to add, “I mean no harm to him, you can trust me. I met him before back in France and we’re… friends.”

Jaymi still wasn’t convinced, she could see it, so she said, “Tom Bertrand said I could find him here.”

At that Jaymi eased a bit – Tom Bertrand was a huge friend of his back in France and was the same guy who told him all about Josh Cuthbert and introduced them to each other.

“I take it you’ve heard about my club too then,” Jaymi said.

She nodded, “Ah,  _oui_ , I’ve heard all about your club.”

“You should show up there tonight then, maybe you’ll be lucky,” Jaymi said.

Ella smiled at him, saying a simple, “ _Merci_.”

“So, tell us, how do you know Josh?” JJ asked after a beat. Ella looked at him for a moment, contemplating his question before answering, “It kind of goes way back…”

 

~

 

Robert Belrose had just arrived from a business trip to Toulouse and had pretty much demanded Ella be at tonight’s supper.

Ella really didn’t like business dinners – her house was always full of strangers and she was always the youngest. It was boring.

Her father always wanted her to doll herself up so that he could brag about his _perfect little angel doll._ She always got awkward, blushing furiously at the praise and not knowing what to say.

Ella really wasn’t looking forward to tonight she decided as she stood in front of the mirror, setting her sparkly black dress straight.

She wasn’t really sure about this dress though, mainly because it had a split in the middle, right in between her breasts,and even thought it was small and narrow she didn’t know if it was appropriate; after all, she was going to be in a room with a bunch of old men, probably.

The thought of having to redress again was enough to make her mind up for her, and she left her room, bringing her curled blonde hair over her shoulders.

As Ella was going down the stairs she didn’t pay attention to everyone already in the room, waiting with a few glasses of what looked like champagne in their hands. Everyone was talking and there was even soft music playing in the background. She smiled, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at how fancy her dad’s events always were for no apparent reason.

“Ella my dear,  _tu es superb_!” she heard her dad say, smile on his face, outstretching his hand to help her get down the last couple of steps.

She smiled back. “ _Merci, papa._ ”

“Ella, honey, this is Josh Cuthbert – he’s British and my newest business partner,” Belrose said, and when he stood out of the way to reveal the man – no, the boy - Ella felt her breath catch in her throat.

He was wearing a tuxedo and everything about him was in black and white – everything except his blue eyes, which locked with hers as he took her hand politely and kissed it, smirk on his face.

“ _Enchanté de faire votre connaissance_ ,” he said, and Ella felt her heart flutter and beat faster and faster the longer he looked at her.

She couldn’t take her eyes off him for a single moment, and suddenly the whole night didn’t feel half as boring as Ella thought it would just a few minutes ago.

 

~

 

When Josh parked his motorcycle in the teachers’ parking lot there were a lot of kids outside. He looked up at the huge stone building in front of him.

The school looked old and it was truly huge, full of green spaces surrounding it. It was _kind of nice_.

He made his way inside, directing himself towards reception. The woman being behind the desk was talking to a janitor in a worried manner, asking him to look for something, when Josh came forward.

“Excuse me,” he said, a neutral expression on his face. Her head snapped to look at him. “Can you help me find George Shelley?” he asked.

The receptionist’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she looked at Josh, then she shook her head, dismissing the janitor. “Oh, yes, of course, I’m sorry, mister…?”

“Cuthbert, Josh Cuthbert,” he provided. She smiled, stressed.

“Mister Cuthbert, yes of course I can.” She started going through a huge folder. “Hmm, Mister Shelley has a free period now,” she said. “You should maybe look outside, that’s where most of the students who don’t have extracurricular activities are.”

He nodded and thanked her, and as he was walking away from ‘the desk to go back outside she called again. “Excuse me sir…?” He turned around, frowning.

“Is there any change you saw a grey, blue eyed kitten outside?” she asked hopefully. Oh, so that’s what she was so worried about – she lost her cat.

He almost laughed at that, but instead he shook his head. “No, Miss, I’m afraid I haven’t.”

And with his heart rate quickening suddenly, he turned around to go find George.

 

~

 

George was playing chords at random on his guitar, sitting with his back against a tree, when he caught a combination that sounded quite familiar; he repeated it again.

It was a song he hadn’t heard in a while, but he still remembered the melody.

He started humming along, struggling a bit when he reached the chorus to find the right chord.

Then he heard a meow.

George stopped strumming his guitar to look at the bushes a few feet away from him with his eyebrow raised. Putting the guitar aside, he stood up, slowly, and walked over to the bush, following the sound.

Kneeling next to it, he found a pair of blue eyes staring at him. It was Miss Holly’s kitten. George sat back down on the ground.

“Hi little one,” he whispered, smiling as he reached out slowly to not scare him away.

He brought the kitten up to face him, caressing him with one hand. Soon enough he was purring, and George brought him closer to his chest, caressing his fur.

 

~

 

Josh was standing a few feet away, completely frozen in place.

There was  _something_ very uncomfortable constricting his chest, his heart was beating faster, and there was a warmth in his stomach along with  _things_  flying around that was drying his throat and making his hands shake.

He‘d never felt this before, and for a moment he started panicking.

But then George looked up, the wide smile still on his radiant face as he locked eyes with Josh.

It was like every single thing in the world was okay now, because that genuine smile was back on George’s face.

Josh felt a violent wave of affection coming out of nowhere, and all he wanted to do was walk forward and hug the kid because it had just been  _so long_.

George’s smile faded slowly, and he bit his lip, still looking at Josh like he wasn’t sure if he was really there.

“Josh?” he felt the need to say – and then felt automatically stupid for saying it.

The hand that wasn’t holding Josh’s helmet came up to scratch the back of his neck nervously as he said, “Uhm… Hi.”

George had never seen Josh like this. He was all shy and awkward all of a sudden, as if questioning if he should even be here.

George thought he really should be here. George thought Josh should never leave again. He thought there was no need for Josh to ever get away from him again, because, and it was stupid – it really was - but he missed him  _so much_.

“Hi what - what are you doing here?” George heard himself ask, getting up and returning to his stuff next to the tree.

Josh sighed. “Look, I came to talk to you about the other day,” he said, watching as George sat down on the grass, back against the tree and kitten on his lap.

Immediately, George’s whole body tensed up, and he couldn’t quite face Josh. His heart was hammering in his chest as he remembered everything that happened the last time they were together.

George felt himself blush. “I’m so sorry about everything,” he mumbled, biting his lip.

He heard Josh take a deep breath, and then he moved to stand in front of him and sit down on the grass, facing George.

“I feel like I should be the one apologizing, kid,” Josh said. George shook his head, dismissing Josh’s words.

“No, it was my fault, and the drugs, I didn’t really mean half of what I said,” George mumbled.

Josh felt his heart drop at that, a lump forming in his throat, and it was so physically uncomfortable - like nothing he’d ever felt – he was stunned into silence.

“You didn’t…?” he asked in the coolest tone of voice he could manage. But still, it wasn’t as composed as he wished it was, and George’s head snapped up to look for Josh’s eyes. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he searched for something to say because honestly, he hadn’t meant it like that.

“I meant the pushing you away part…” George murmured, looking down at the grey kitten on his lap, purring against his hands.

“Oh.”

There was silence for a while, in which both of them just sat there awkwardly.

Josh felt so ridiculous, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk – he really didn’t know what to say.

He saw the guitar laying next to George and saw a chance to break the silence. “Is that yours?” he asked, nodding towards the guitar.

George followed his gaze. “Yes, I’ve been playing ever since I was 11,” he said.

“Who taught you?” Josh asked, glad to end the awkwardness between them.

“My uncle, JJ’s dad,” he answered, smiling at the memories that brought back. “He always wanted to teach JJ to play too, but JJ was super hyperactive when he was a kid, he wouldn’t stand still and focus for a moment.” George chuckled.

Josh couldn’t help the smirk curling his lip – that did sound like JJ.

“So, what were you playing?” Josh asked, laying back on his elbows.

The blush invading George’s cheeks brought a smile to Josh’s face without him even noticing.

“Nothing,” George said, looking down at the kitten again. Josh rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, you’re getting shy on me now? After all the shit we’ve been through?” Josh said in a teasing tone.

George smiled without looking at him. “Alright, fine.” He shook his head, smiling. “It’s just an old song I listened to a lot… when I was in my seventh grade emo phase…” he said, mumbling the last part of the sentence in embarrassment.

Josh laughed out loud at that, throwing his head back and falling on his back, arms around his abdomen.

It was so unexpected George just sat there, watching him indignantly for a moment, mouth ajar.

“Hey, it’s actually a good song!” he said defensively.

“Yeah, I’m sure it is,” Josh said in between laughter. At that, George set the kitten back on the grass to play with the leaves and picked his guitar up.

“Fine, I’ll show you!” he said, and brought his left hand on the top part of the guitar neck, bending his fingers over to place them on the strings.

As he started strumming, Josh’s laugh was subsiding, and he rose to support himself on his elbow again, watching George.

The smile on his face started fading slowly the moment George opened his mouth to sing.

_Bury all your secrets in my skin_

_Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins_

Josh couldn’t help but listen to it with all his attention. George was suddenly in his own world, and it was fascinating.

_So if you love me let me go and run away before I know_

_My heart is just too dark to care, I can’t destroy what isn’t there_

There was something about the song, too, that was hooking him.

He listened to all of it in complete silence, and when George finished, he still couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

George looked at him through his lashes, biting his lip and waiting for him to say anything.

But Josh really didn’t know what to say.

“It’s not bad…” he finally said, shrugging his shoulders. George rolled his eyes, smiling at him and shaking his head.

“I didn’t know you could sing,” Josh said instead.

“I sing in the school choir…” he said, and Josh almost smiled at that.  _Of course he’s a choir boy_.

“Actually,” George started, “we’re having a concert in a few days, you should come.”

Josh looked at him as if he was mad and had to bite his lip to not start laughing like a maniac all over again. “Are you serious?” he said, his lips twitching with the urge to laugh.

George raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I am. JJ and Jaymi come here all the time.”

Josh really couldn’t help himself, and started laughing at the image of Jaymi and JJ sitting in the crowd of a show choir, cheering like a pair of overly proud grandmas.

“Josh, stop it, I’m serious!” George said, but Josh’s laugher was so contagious he was chuckling himself. He put the guitar aside and crawled over to Josh to playfully punch him in the arm. “Stop making fun of me!”

Josh had tears in his eyes at this point, and when he tried to talk the laughing only got worse.

Soon enough they were both laughing like mad men, sprawled on the grass.

“Well,” Josh started, when his laugher finally died down, “I don’t know about show choirs, but what do you say to a family dinner followed by club night?”

“I say it sounds good,” George said, smiling.

When they were both preparing to leave, after returning Miss Holly’s kitten and putting away George’s guitar, Josh gave his only helmet to George before they hopped on the motorcycle. “Hey kid,” Josh called.

George took the helmet and looked at him.

“What was the name of that song again?” Josh asked.

“I think…” George had to stop for a moment to remember – it had been a while since he last heard it - and then he answered, right before putting the helmet on, “It’s  _Snuff_.”


	13. Chapter 12

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

JJ was really getting on Jaymi’s nerves.

All because he was trying to cook dinner, and the older boy just wouldn’t stop tickling him or grabbing him from behind to kiss his neck, or even steal kisses from his lips when he wasn’t expecting it.

“JJ, I swear to god,” he threatened in a playful manner, smirk on his face as he turned around from the stove, wooden spoon in his hand. “You are such a fucking child sometimes, I’m too old for this shit!”

JJ was jumping around the kitchen, opening and closing the cabinets, looking for nothing in particular and eating anything he could find.

He laughed at Jaymi, sitting on the counter on Jaymi’s left. “You’re sounding just like my mother, love,” he said, and hit the tip of Jaymi’s nose playfully with his finger, winking at him.

“I do not sound like your mother!” Jaymi said indignantly. “And get your ass off my counters!” Jaymi said, fighting a smile at JJ’s eye roll.

JJ jumped off the counter, turning so that he was facing Jaymi.

“I love it when you get all bossy,” JJ said in a husky voice, pulling Jaymi closer by his belt and biting his lip. Jaymi sighed.

“JJ, I have to cook dinner. It needs my full attention or else I’ll burn it!” Jaymi reasoned.

“ _I_ need your full attention,” JJ replied, pouting at him. Jaymi scrunched his face up, biting his lip.  _Damn it._

“Damn you, JJ, you’re not helpi-”He was cut off by JJ’s lips, stealing a quick peck before he took off laughing like a little kid, running away before Jaymi could come after him.

Jaymi was trying hard to not let feelings get in the way of this thing he had with JJ. It was so simple and relaxed and good; he didn’t want to ruin that, so they never  _talked about it_ – they just  _did it_. Long serious talks would ruin everything with drama he didn’t want to go through, because he knew JJ wasn’t the kind of guy who had exclusive relationships.

JJ was the kind of guy who did what he wanted – who he wanted. All Jaymi had to do was keep JJ’s attention on him, keep him interested.

All he needed to do was make JJ want him, and his heart would be still and  _fine_. Even though it still fluttered at every smile JJ sent his way, and quickened with every one of his furtive kisses.

He heard the sound of a key being inserted in the lock and went to the living room – it was probably Josh.

The door opened and immediately Josh came in, biting the smile off his lips, followed by a laughing George.

They were both wet from head to toe, and Jaymi looked out of the window, laughing when he saw it had started raining.

“What the fuck, did you two stop for a swim at the public pool?” JJ asked with raised eyebrows as he came down the stairs.

“There’s a public pool?” Josh asked in amusement, at the same time as George said to JJ, “It started raining.” Jaymi took their wet jackets, hanging them to dry.

JJ groaned, looking out the window. “Today was such a sunny day…” he mumbled.

“Jaymi, is your food suppose to smell like this?” Josh asked Jaymi, sniffing the air with a frown. Jaymi’s eyes widened, and with a shouted,“Fuck!” he ran to the kitchen.

Josh followed him a few seconds later, and George went to the sofa, balancing on his knees and leaning on the sofa’s back to look over at Jaymi and Josh in the kitchen. JJ was right next to him in the living room, watching the scene from afar.  

“Oh, for God’s sake, it burnt!” Jaymi said, after trying to add water to repair the damage.

JJ started laughing, falling on the sofa next to George, who kicked him to stop when Jaymi stared daggers at his way.

“Well… fuck,” Josh said, leaning over the pan to look at the burnt meal. “Jaymi, I’m not eating that,” he warned.

George put his arm in the air, smiling like a little kid. “I say we go to McDonalds!”

Nobody opposed.

 

~ 

 

“Here you go,” Jaymi said as he set the glasses of colored drinks on the small table in front of himself and JJ. “George, you get a coke.” The younger boy pouted, rolling his eyes as he leaned back on the sofa of the VIP area of Jaymi’s club.

“Sorry, kiddo, JJ’s orders,” Jaymi said with a smile.

Ever since JJ found out about the ecstasy incident – that George sugar coated for his own sake – he had forbidden George from drinking more than two alcoholic drinks in one night. He had said that there were a lot of creepy people in clubs, just waiting to fuck with drunken kids who had no idea of what was going on, and JJ didn’t want George to lose control of himself anymore.  

But when he brought the glass to his lips to sip at his coke, he could feel the strong taste of whisky cutting the sweetness of the coke, and he looked up at Jaymi, who winked at him.

George couldn’t help but smile.

“Where’s Josh?” Jaymi asked after looking around on the VIP platform to find him nowhere.

“He had to go outside, to take care of  _something_ ,” JJ said, giving him a knowing look. Jaymi nodded.

“Hey George, let’s go find someone cute for you to dance with,” Jaymi said out of the blue, taking George’s hand to pull him up.

George’s eyes widened. “What? No!” he said immediately.

Jaymi laughed. “C’mon, do you want to spend the whole night sitting here with your boring cousin instead?”

“Hey!” JJ protested. Jaymi just smiled at him.

When he looked back at George he noticed the younger boy was blushing. “I was actually planning on just sitting here, and waitting for Josh to get back, I don’t really feel like dancing…” he said apologetically.

Jaymi bit back his smile at that.

“I’m not accepting no for an answer, Georgie. You will dance with me,” he said.

JJ took a sip of his drink and leaned back on the sofa. “I thought you said you were going to find him someone cute to dance with, “ JJ teased, to which Jaymi simply stated, “Exactly.”

JJ laughed. “But Jaaaymi!” George whined.

“I’ll dance with you, leave the kid alone,” JJ said, smiling as he set his glass back on the table and stood up, grabbing Jaymi’s hand.

George sighed in relief. “Thank you!” he said to JJ, and his cousin just winked as Jaymi narrowed his eyes at him.

JJ really liked when Jaymi tried to make his little cousin feel included. He grew up with George; they lived pretty close to each other, and JJ had been the one teaching George things like riding a bike and playing football. He loved the kid like a brother.

And he really cared for Jaymi too.  _Oh God_ , did he care for Jaymi…

He had wanted Jaymi ever since the day he first laid eyes on him. The moment Jaymi stepped foot inside the classroom all those years ago and looked at him – the new kid – JJ decided he wasn’t stopping until he had Jaymi.

Now he has had just a taste of Jaymi, and he wants more,  _so much more_.

As they made their way towards the dance floor, JJ saw James entering the club, Ella right by his side.

James Arthur was a weird guy, JJ thought. He seemed very quiet; JJ hadn’t seen him smile once, and he just stood there, always by Ella’s side, watching over her. 

As they were entering the club, though, Ella was talking to him, saying something very cheerful, and for a moment he saw the guys lips twitch, and he actually chuckled at one point. JJ thought he should do it more often – he wouldn’t look so intimidating if he did. Then again, maybe intimidating people was exactly what he was going for.

Grabbing Jaymi’s hand, JJ stopped him and signaled James and Ella to get closer.

“Ella!” Jaymi greeted as he turned around to find both Ella and James getting closer. “So, you came after all.”

“I was hoping Josh would be around,” she said, hopefully, with a shy smile gracing her lips.

Jaymi looked at JJ then; they had totally forgotten to mention Ella to Josh.

“You know what, just go up to the VIP zone and wait around, I’m sure he’ll show up.” Ella bit her smile and nodded.

James bent forward to say, “I’ll be around,” in her ear before heading towards the bar, and Ella thanked Jaymi and went away too.

“Jaymi…” JJ said his ear in a warning tone as he hugged Jaymi from behind.

 “What?” Jaymi said defensively. “It’s not like she’s a huge threat to Josh. She’s maybe what, sixteen?”

JJ laughed, low, and held Jaymi just a little bit closer to him. “Okay, forget about the little girl, we were about to do more fun things anyway,” JJ said as he slowly started moving against Jaymi’s back to the beat of the music.

Jaymi smiled and turned around in his arms. ‘He gripped JJ’s purple t-shirt, bringing him dangerously close to his lips. “Oh yeah?” he whispered teasingly, “like what, Hamblett?”

JJ smirked and, in a swift move, grabbed Jaymi by the hair, bending his head back and slightly to the side, kissing the air out of him.

 

~

 

Moments after JJ and Jaymi left, George saw a pretty blonde girl coming up the steps to the VIP area. She was wearing a short black dress, and her hair was in a loose braid that came over her shoulder; she looked like she had never been here, and when her eyes stopped on George, sitting alone on one of the sofas, she shyly came in his direction. 

“Hi,” she said, shouting to be heard at such distance. George identified the strong French accent immediately – she was probably just passing by town and didn’t know anyone. “I’m Ella.”

“I’m George,” he said, standing up. “Hi.”

He smiled at Ella and invited her to sit next to him. She seemed just about his age, and it was nice to be surrounded by someone who was not older than you and, well,  _a boy_.

“You’re not from here, are you?” George asked, and she shook her head.

“I’m from Paris,” Ella replied, “I’m just passing by.” She gave him a brief smile before asking, “Do you know the club’s owner?”

“Jaymi?” George said. “Yeah, Jaymi and my cousin JJ are like…  _best friends_ ,” he added.  JJ and Jaymi had the potential to be so much more than best friends – everyone could see it.

“That’s cool, it must get you a lot of free drinks,” she said, her smile widening.

 _Oh, drinks!_  He straightened himself on the sofa, putting his glass down, Ella’s confused gaze following his actions. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask; do you want me to get you anything to drink?” he asked.

“Oh,” she rose her hands, dismissing the question. “ _Non_ , I’m okay. Don’t bother.”

“Are you sure? It’s totally fine, it will only take me a second,” he said, thumb pointing back at the bar.

Ella shook her head once again with a smile. “Really, I’m okay.”

George reluctantly sat back down, biting his lip, not sure if he should insist again or not.

“So, you’ve met Jaymi and my cousin already?” George asked instead, just so they had something to talk about.

“ _Oui,_ ” Ella said, “I’ve heard about them back in France. My dad is in the same… _business_.” She was looking at the crowd as she spoke; not in an anxious way, it was like she was just patiently waiting for something.

Her words confused George though. Business? Did she meant the club thing?

“Are you here with your family then?” he asked instead.

She shook her head before replying “ _Non_ , I’m here looking for a boy I met back in France.”

Ella looked at him and smiled shyly.

“Did he move here? Maybe I know him?” George offered.

She shrugged. “Well, he doesn’t really stick to a place for very long; he’s always on the move, just him and his motorcycle,” she chuckled, her gaze looking towards the crowd but not really focusing on anything.

It was like Ella was remembering something.

The mention of a motorcycle also brought memories to George’s mind, and suddenly he too was looking out at the crowd, looking for a red leather jacket and a pair of blue eyes. 

“Perhaps you  _do_ know him,” Ella said, looking at George with a curious frown on her face as if she was talking more to herself than to George.

But her next words caught his attention like a slap in the face. “After all, JJ  _is_  Josh’s supplier, and he’s dealing in Jaymi’s club. So maybe you do know Josh.” She smiled. “Do you?”

George’s mind just went blank at that.

He felt like someone had punched him in his gut, because he couldn’t talk; he had no idea what to say, what to think, what to do.

And then, as if pushed right back to reality, his brain started working on overdrive, bringing back memories of the first time he saw Josh. He was in that alley, where all those junkies were.

George wasn’t stupid – although right now, he was feeling like an oblivious idiot – he knew that there were drug deals going around there, Josh told him himself, and now it all made sense.

The way Josh always talked about the dangers of that place like he knew it first hand; it was because  _he did know_. 

The way he fought, like he had dealt with this before – he probably had. The gun he had…

All those men, coming after him, to hit him… it was all  _business_.

George felt cheated on, in a way. He felt so stupid.

But the worst part was JJ – he‘d openly lied to George. All he had ever said to try justifying those guys coming after George, the ridiculous amount of money he made even though he didn’t really have a job; it was all  _a huge lie_.

He wasn’t gambling and getting into bar fights – he was supplying drug dealers.

_Drug dealers like Josh._

That’s why he knew exactly what to do, when George took that ecstasy pill. Because he had probably given dozens of them to strangers too, just like someone had done with George.

It all made sense now. He was probably doing just that right now, outside, and that’s why he left George here, alone.

He looked up at Ella, and she was looking at him with a slight frown, trying to figure out if she said something wrong.

“Yeah,” George said, trying to force a smile. “I know Josh.” Then a thought came to him, and before he could reflect on whether he wanted to know the answer or not, he was already asking with his heart tightening in his chest, “Is he your boyfriend?”

Ella smiled, biting her lip and looking down as a blush tinted her cheeks.

She didn’t say anything, but that was enough of an answer to George.

There was a lump in his throat, and he felt stubborn tears burning behind his eyes, ready to fall at any moment.

He felt betrayed. He knew he didn’t really have the right to feel like this – after all, there was  _nothing_  between him and Josh - but he couldn’t help it, because Josh had been deluding him this whole time.

He never said anything specific, and he never really lied to George, but he omitted some very important information.

There was no way Josh didn’t know what he was doing by going to talk to George at school and bringing him here. There was no way Josh was oblivious to George’s… _hopes_.

But maybe he just didn’t care at all.

A memory of that night, weeks ago, came back to him; Josh kissing that random girl.

If Ella really was his girlfriend, then Josh cheated on her, just like that. Who knew what other things he could do?

_It was all a lie._

George felt lightheaded for a second, because everything he thought was true – everything he thought Josh was - was nothing but a big fat lie.

And as he spotted Josh’s red leather jacket in the crowd, coming up to the VIP area, he couldn’t help but think simply,  _Who are you?_

Ella followed his gaze, and when she saw Josh she stood up. “Josh.”

He was frowning, his whole posture tense, including his jaw, and there was a mixture of different emotions crossing his eyes.

Ella strode towards him, and, taking a hold of his shirt, she mumbled, “ _Tu me manques tout le jours depuis que tu es parti.”_

And then she kissed him, and George couldn’t help but close his eyes.

He was so stupid, wasn’t he?

Josh was just playing him, making fun of him just like every single person in his old school back in London; that was all anyone ever wanted from him.

Setting his jaw, he opened his eyes and just stormed off, accidentally bumping into Josh with his shoulder as he passed by them.

It made Josh take a step back and away from Ella, and for a moment he just looked at her, half confused, half outraged.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He grabbed her by her arm, pushing her away from him.

He could see the tears forming in her eyes but he didn’t really care.

Josh looked around at the crowd and saw George making his way through the mass of people, moving fast and furiously. He was reminded of the look on George’s face the first time he saw Josh kiss someone else, and he felt his heart drop to his feet.

He took a step towards the stairs, but Ella was grabbing his hand. “Josh wait, don’t go!”

“What did you say to him?” Josh said. His tone of voice was so cold and angry it felt like a stab to Ella.

“Nothing, we were just talking about you,” she said. His hand curled up in a fist and he jammed it away from Ella’s grasp.

“Did you tell him about the drug dealing?” he asked. Ella’s lip trembled and she mumbled, “I thought he knew…”

Josh closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he just turned around and ran down the few steps, after George.

“ _Attendez!_ ” she shouted, but Josh couldn’t  _wait_. He had to go after George.

It was raining outside, and Josh had to walk a few feet away from the club to find George walking down the street, some feet ahead.

He wanted to justify himself, for the first time ever. He wanted George to listen to him, to not run away from him.

But he had never done this before. He didn’t know what to do, how to make him  _stay_.

“George!” he called, and the kid just turned away, facing him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” the younger boy asked. “Why did you lie to me?”

Josh was lost for words. He had no idea if he should say anything at all. Josh should let him go, let George hate him and stay away from him. He should, at least once, think about someone else’s feelings. George was better off away from him.

But Josh was a selfish son of a bitch and he couldn’t do that. He was already in too deep.

“JJ, he - he wanted to protect you…” he said.

George closed his eyes, sighing heavily, as if he was suddenly very tired. He opened his eyes, and even with the distance between them, Josh could see his eyes were shining with unshed tears. “He has been lying to me all along…” he said in a tired voice.

“It was  _to protect you_!” Josh insisted, taking his hair off his forehead with a swift move of his hand.

“You have no idea what this world is like. JJ couldn’t risk having anyone knowing about you. Someone could hurt you to get to him! Your not knowing was the best chance he had at keeping you away. This is the only way you can protect the people who matter to you; you keep them away,” he said.

“Is that why you left your girlfriend back in France?” George said, his voice rising and breaking at the word  _girlfriend_.

“She’s not my fucking girlfriend!” Josh shouted.

George shook his head as if he didn’t believe Josh, his wet hair falling into his eyes, and turned away from Josh, walking down the street.

“Were are you going?” Josh called out, frustrated because he didn’t know what to do anymore to make him stay and believe him.

“I’m keeping myself away!” George said, facing him again. Then he laughed, but it wasn’t humorous; it was dark and sad.

“Isn’t that what JJ wants?” George outstretched his arms, walking backwards. “I just don’t know what you want. You’re a riddle to me, and you’re getting too close. I don’t know how to protect myself from you and this is what I get!” he said, the tears falling from his eyes, blending in with the rain drops on his face.

Josh was shaking his head, taking a few steps closer to George unconsciously.

“You’re just like everybody else, Josh.” George said. He sounded defeated. “The difference is, where everyone else tried to destroy me by keeping their distance, you are trying to do it by getting too close.”

Josh scrunched his face up, gritting his teeth in frustration as he pulled at his hair. His blood was boiling with anger because  _he was so wrong_.

“For fuck’s sake, kid, don’t you understand?” Josh shouted. “Isn’t it clear?” he said, his hands shaking. George frowned in confusion.

“You think she’s important? You think I don’t care? Then why the fuck would I be here?”

Josh could hear George’s sharp intake of breath, but he just kept talking, “You fuck my head up more than anyone I’ve ever met and I don’t know how to fucking deal with it! It’s fucking despairing!”

George’s breathing was ragged as he heard every single word that left Josh’s mouth. He‘d never sounded so sincere, and George found himself somehow closer to him, even thought he didn’t recall moving.

“I’m going mental here because I have these feelings – these _things_  inside of me and I don’t fucking know what to do with them!”

When Josh finished, he realized how close George was to him but he couldn’t tell if he had moved at all.

George opened his mouth to talk, and his voice was shaking as he said, “But I do.”

Quick as both their heartbeats and in one single swift move, Josh’s hand came up, holding George’s face and using his thumb to tilt his head back as George, on his tip toes, came closer to him, and their lips connected.

Something exploded in Josh’s chest. It was like his ribcage had been constricted all this time, like he couldn’t breathe and suddenly the ropes suppressing him were cut loose, and the sudden rush of  _breath_  made him dizzy.

He dared moving his lips against George’s,  and it set a ball of warmth free in his stomach, as long as a million butterflies.

Josh had never felt something like this; it overwhelmed him.

He tightened his grip on George’s hair and bent his head slightly and gently to the side as his tongue darted out, running hesitantly over George’s lips.   

The younger boy parted his lips and gripped Josh’s shirt, bringing him closer as a soft sigh escaped him before he could stop himself. It made Josh’s heart skip a beat.

This was George’s very first kiss, and it was perfect.

His blood was rushing in his veins, and even with the chilly rain falling upon both of them, it was boiling his skin and making him crave Josh more and more with every move of his lips against George’s.

With his other hand on George’s hip, Josh pulled him closer, pressing his whole body against him, their clothes sticking together because of the rain.

Josh always thought feeling this dependent on someone was not good. But he had never felt this complete. It was like being high, but so much better, because he wasn’t running away from the world, or trying to forget it; it fact, he had never felt so aware of it.

Kissing George was like being reminded of every good sensation he had ever felt, along with the promise of feeling like this all over again.

George was right here in his arms, and it felt right.

And more than that, the thought that George might actually be feeling the very same thing made his heart flutter, and he felt absolute.

As he drew away to breathe, his forehead against George’s, he smiled with his eyes closed and felt George’s grip tightening on his shirt.

It was fucking perfect.

Right now, Josh felt like he was on top of the world.

 

The falling rain was the only thing Ella could feel, because her whole being was numb as she watched Josh from afar, kissing that boy.

The tears were falling down her face, but no one would notice with the rain.

She closed her eyes, and a simple thought crossed her mind.

_No._


	14. Chapter 13

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Can we go home?” George whispered, looking up to meet Josh’s eyes. The rain had brought his perfectly styled quiff down, ghosting over his eyes. Maybe it was the effects of the kiss, because George still felt quite light headed, but Josh had never looked more gorgeous to him.

Josh bit his lip as he looked at the younger boy. “Yeah,” he said after a while, looking at George in silence. “I’ll get Jaymi’s car.”

“Do you think he’ll mind taking a lift from JJ?” George questioned, smiling. Josh’s lips twitched as he bit back a smile.

“I don’t think he’ll mind at all,” Josh said, and grabbed George’s chin in an unexpected move to kiss his lips furtively before he headed off towards the club to go get Jaymi’s keys.

George was left behind, smiling, the - now softer - rain falling on him, but he didn’t mind at all. It felt good if anything.

He was still in the clouds. Everything felt like a dream, and he was terrified he would wake up at some point, yet there was something about the whole situation that made it very real.

He couldn’t ignore what he had just heard. He couldn’t just forget what Josh and JJ – and even Jaymi – did for a living.

But even if he was still confused by the whole thing and still felt cheated on, he couldn’t help but let it fall to the back of his mind.

Right now, there was only one thought occupying his head.

_Josh kissed me._

George felt like laughing and dancing and running around in the rain, because there was a sudden rush of this  _being alive_  feeling that was taking over him. He’d never felt this happy before.

Closing his eyes with a smile on his face, he looked up at the sky, letting the rain drops fall directly on his face. His heart was still beating fast, and he couldn’t wait for Josh to get back again.

“Do you feel like you’re on top of the world?” a voice said, a few feet away from him, and he opened his eyes, frowning as his eyes met a red eyed Ella, her lip trembling.

“He always made me feel like that,” she said, looking away from him. George stood there in silence, frowning at her.

When she looked back at him with anger in her eyes, her lips were pursed and her jaw set. “Do you think you have what  _he wants_? What  _he needs_?” she spat.

George was taken aback by those words and the hatred in her voice.

“What are you talking about?” he managed to whisper, but she ignored him.

“Josh wants  _a woman_. I don’t know what you did to him or what he saw in you, but you’re not what he wants. You’ll never be able to give him what he wants. ”

George felt his heart constricting in his chest all over again.

“He’s just having his fun with you; that’s who Josh is,” she said, a cruel smile on her face.“You just don’t know him… not like I do.”

There were tears rolling down her cheeks and blending in with the rain. George’s breathing was getting faster for a whole new reason now, there was a lump growing in his throat, and the biggest sensation of insecurity he had ever felt took over him.

“He’ll tire of you eventually, you know?” Ella said. Behind her, George could barely notice the blond figure running in their direction, calling out the girl’s name. “He’ll realize you’re not worth it, because no one’s good enough for Josh, and he’ll leave you. One day you’ll wake up and he’s long gone, taking everything with him. No more Josh in your life…”

The blond guy finally reached her, grabbing her by her shoulders and talking to her in French. He took a glance in George’s way, and then, without a word, he started leading Ella away from him, back to where he had came from.

George was again left alone, but this time he felt scared. There was a strange ache in his chest, like he was already missing some essential part of himself.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, simply looking in the direction both Ella and the guy went.

He was standing in the middle of the street, and it was only when he saw a pair of headlights that he moved.

Josh was driving Jaymi’s car, and George wasted no time getting in the car.

“You okay?” Josh said as he drove off, stealing a sideways glance at George and frowning.

“Yeah,” George replied, smiling. “I’m freezing, though,” he added, choosing to omit what really bothered him.

Ella was probably hurt and taking it out on George. She was being dramatic and George was being foolish.

Yes, that was it.

With a quick glance in Josh’s direction George let himself lean back on the seat and tried to relax, searching madly for that feeling of happiness and plenitude he was feeling just moments ago.

 

~

 

James was gripping the wheel of his car with such force his knuckles were turning white.

By his side, Ella was still trying to control her breathing as she pulled James’ jacket tighter around herself.

“Ella,” James started, softly. The girl’s sobs had stopped a few minutes ago, but she was still shaken. She shook her head, keeping him from continuing talking.

“I know…” she mumbled.

“No, I don’t think you do,” James said, turning around in his seat to look at her, eyebrows rising together in a concerned expression. She kicked her shoes off and brought them up on the seat, her knees close against her chest.

“You promised this wouldn’t happen, Ella! You promised you wouldn’t let your feelings get in the way!” James said.

“But it’s so hard…” Ella answered, her voice breaking and new tears spilling from her eyes.

James sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, letting his head fall against the headrest of his seat.

“I know. But I wouldn’t have brought you with me if I didn’t think you could do this,” James said. “He’ll hear you, Ella. And he’ll know you’re speaking the truth.”

Ella nodded, wiping the tears with her fingers and taking a deep breath.

“I can do this,” she said, talking more to herself than James. “This is not about me, or my feelings, this is about something bigger,” she continued. “This is about Josh’s safety.”

James nodded. “That’s right,” he said, a tentative smile curling the corner of his lip.

“Can we go home?” she asked. James nodded, and, reaching out to her, he messed her hair affectionately, bringing her head closer to kiss her forehead before he turned back to start the car and drive off.

 

~ 

 

“If you don’t stop that right fucking now, I swear to God, I will drag you to the damn bathroom of your own fucking club, rip your clothes off, and ravish the hell out of you.”

Jaymi laughed, throwing his head back and leaning against JJ’s shoulder.

JJ couldn’t quite understand why he was laughing – he was being damn serious.

Jaymi was being a fucking tease tonight. He normally didn’t mind the teasing, it was actually one of the best parts of this thing he had with Jaymi, but normally the teasing lead to  _something_.

But Jaymi was giving him absolutely nothing. His whole body was pressed back against JJ’s as they moved, but every time JJ tried to kiss him or feel him up or simply press him closer, Jaymi would stop and move away from him, disappearing in the crowd and leaving JJ to chase after him.

“I fucking mean it, Jaymi,” JJ said, arm around him to keep him in place. Jaymi’s hand came to rest on top of JJ’s as he turned his head to face JJ with a teasing smile on his lips.

“So eager,” Jaymi said, and stole a quick peck from his lips. When he drew back, JJ chased after him, trying to keep the kiss going. But Jaymi just moved his head back with an infuriating smile on his lips that was driving JJ crazy.

He exhaled, letting his head fall on Jaymi’s shoulder.

Suddenly, Jaymi stopped moving.“JJ,” he called.

Confused with the sudden seriousness in his tone of voice, JJ looked at him with a frown. He was about to ask what was going on when he saw a figure a few feet away, sitting on a bar stool and looking in their direction. It was that police detective that had questioned JJ.  

“Fuck,” JJ mumbled. He felt Jaymi detaching JJ’s hand from his body to move away. “Where are you going?” JJ asked, grabbing his hand.

“I’m getting Dan to shut the door to the alley,” he said simply. JJ’s jaw tensed.

“I don’t think he’s here because of the junkies, or those small dealings, Jaymi,” JJ said.

Jaymi knew he was probably right. The detective was here to watch JJ, because there was something bigger than the drug dealing going on, and he believed JJ was a part of it.    

That guy Micky had run away with was a French guy with whom JJ had done business a couple of times. People had seen them together; it wasn’t hard for the detective to connect JJ with him.

He knew there was something going on – he probably already knew what JJ and a lot of others did here, but he had no concrete proof. Besides, the drugs really weren’t his major concern.

If that was the case, he would’ve already have arrested some kids simply for possession, and he hadn’t.

He was investigating Micky’s case, which he thought had something to do with human trafficking. JJ knew he was pretty convinced Micky had been a victim of it and JJ was somehow involved.

Jaymi knew JJ had nothing to do with it, but still, JJ had to lay low. He couldn’t be seen with anyone suspicious; he couldn’t leave town, he couldn’t go to the places he usually attended. Not when there was this constant shadow now following him around.

“I know he isn’t,” Jaymi said, getting out of JJ’s grasp, “but I have to do it nonetheless.”

He took off, leaving JJ alone on the dance floor.

This man was only leaving JJ alone when he got the real person responsible for all this. And for JJ’s sake, he‘d better do it fast.

 

~ 

 

Josh never really thought he’d be in a situation like this, ever. Right now, there was a fuzzy feeling in his belly that was both worrying and amazing.

He was walking George slowly backwards into Jaymi’s living room. His lips were sealed with George’s, and they were trying to not trip over the carpet, or one of Jaymi’s shoes at the entrance, or the foot of a table, but it was hard because George had no idea where he was going and he was laughing against Josh’s lips.

They were moving slowly until the back of George’s knees hit the sofa and they stopped.

Then, without breaking the kiss, Josh’s hand found its way to George’s wet jacket, and he started sliding it off his shoulders at the same time his other hand was playing with the belt loops of his jeans, using it to keep George close. Instantly, the younger boy felt the tension taking over his own body, and he froze in place, completely alarmed.

Josh noticed right away. He broke the kiss then, to look at George’s face with a frown.

He saw the blush on his cheeks and how he was looking anywhere but at Josh but he couldn’t figure out why-

_Oh._

George thought he meant to take all his clothes off…

A sudden and unexpected wave of pure fire ran through Josh’s body at the simple thought and for a moment he stayed there, his eyes looking for any change in George’s expression.

“I was just taking your wet jacket off,” Josh mumbled in a husky voice.

When George’s eyes looked up to meet Josh’s, the blue in it was slowly being replaced by the dark of his blown pupils, and George’s breath caught in his throat.

He just had his very first kiss. He’d never kissed anyone before and he was still trying to figure it out. It was a bit scary thinking about going any further.

George knew Josh had been with a lot of girls before, he knew Josh had experience, even if he’d never been with a boy. He wanted to impress him  _so badly_.

“I know,” he said as his cheeks got redder.

Josh’s hand left George, and for a moment, the younger boy was scared Josh had seen right through him and didn’t… want him.

But Josh just took a step back to take his red leather jacket off, letting it fall over the armrest of the other sofa.

Josh could almost touch George’s nervousness, and he wasn’t quite sure what he should do to ease it a bit. So he kissed him again, because kissing George was becoming Josh’s very favourite thing to do.

He could tell George wasn’t very experienced at this, but there was something about the way he wanted to do it right – his eagerness to please Josh - that was driving Josh crazy.

George’s jacket slid off his arms, and Josh threw it away, his fingers ghosting over the younger boy’s arms, creating goose bumps all over George’s body. They stopped at the nape of George’s head, Josh’s thumb stroking his jaw line slowly and bending his head just slightly back.

He felt Josh’s tongue parting his lips, and there was this warmth bursting inside his chest, and he acted before he could rethink his actions.

George’s hands gripped Josh’s shirt and he spun them around, pushing Josh towards the sofa.

The back of the older boy’s knees hit the sofa and he fell on it. Josh’s surprised expression was the last thing George saw before he put a knee on the free space of the sofa between Josh’s legs, closed his eyes, and just let his body fall on top of Josh’s, kissing him again, so eager to do it right.

Josh couldn’t deny how this sudden eagerness was affecting him.

He never thought he’d be this attracted to a boy. It was so hard to explain, but there was something else about George.

His body’s responses to him were almost automatic; it had never been like this before. Maybe it was his  _feelings_ , but there was something so different about his attraction to George in comparison to all the girls before him. It felt more real when everything else felt shallow; it was somehow provoking things  _deeper_ inside Josh.

He knew this was what George wanted – to prove himself to Josh.

But he also knew George wasn’t ready for this. Hell, Josh wasn’t sure if he himself was ready for  _this_.

So he grabbed George’s roaming hands and made him stop, pushing him gently away so he could look at him.

“George,” Josh mumbled. He wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to do this. He wasn’t very good at this whole being gentle thing.

“Yeah?” George whispered back, his lips trying to connect with Josh’s skin again.

Josh’s jaw tensed. The movement of George’s actions were making him rub against Josh’s whole body, and it was getting harder and _harder_  to find the will to make him stop.

“Just, stop for a moment, will you?” he said in a not so soft way.

George froze in place, looking at him with a whole new look in his eyes. Something like fear or dread and embarrassment.

“You don’t have to-” Josh stopped. “Just, slow down. You’ve got nothing to prove.”

 _Yes I do,_ George’s mind provided, Ella’s words still echoing in his ears.

_You’ll never be able to give him what he wants. He’ll realize you’re not worth it, because no one’s good enough for Josh , and he’ll leave you._

The thought of Josh going away now was so scary, George felt like he had to do everything he could to make him stay.

He wanted to prove to Josh that he would try and be the best he could, and hope to God that his best would be enough. Josh was the first person who actually  _cared_  about George like this, and maybe this dependence wasn’t healthy at all, but George couldn’t help but want to keep him close.

He wanted Josh right here, because nothing tasted sweeter than his lips or warmer than the feeling of his skin.

Josh raised his head to kiss him softly again, and then brought his arms around George, keeping him there, impossibly close to him on the sofa, George’s head on his chest.

Slowly, listening to Josh’s heartbeat, George fell asleep, gripping Josh’s shirt tight in his hand to keep him from going away while he slept.


	15. Chapter 14

* * *

 

 

 

 

George’s hands are cold. That’s the first thing he registers.

George’s hands feel cold on Josh’s chest as he pushes him down, keeping him lying there, but his skin is burning. Josh runs his hands up the legs straddling his lap and stops when he feels the bones of his naked hips beneath his fingers.

He’s gripping them tight and he wants to mark him. So Josh grips tighter and George hisses.

Then his hips are moving slowly in circles against Josh’s, and his brown eyes close as his mouth opens slightly, and his eyebrows knit together in an expression of pure bliss.

Josh thinks he might pass out because George’s movements are releasing waves of fire, slowly consuming his whole being. Slowly, just the way those hips are moving.

George stops and his hands wander down to Josh’s abdomen; he’s lifting himself up, and Josh’s hand reaches back, to grip the pillow beneath his head.

When George sinks back down, his name is dripping from his lips and Josh cries out, his eyes fluttering shut.

He feels George’s breath against his throat and his hand wanders up Josh’s arm, reaching for his hand and intertwining their fingers. George’s fringe falls over his eyes, but Josh can see they’re closed behind it.

He lifts his hips at the same time George is falling down against them and his lips part in a soft moan; the sound makes Josh’s body tremble and in a whisper, he commands George to, “ _Look at me_.”

His eyes shot open.

Weak rays of sunlight were shining through the huge windows and Josh realized it was morning already.

He was breathing fast; George moved slightly with the irregularity of his breathing.

George’s hand was still gripping his shirt and his knee came up, brushing against Josh. That was when his body went stiff and he realized he was hard.

_Fuck._

He was afraid of moving and waking up George, but he had to try. He needed to get out of there, because the images of his dream were vividly assaulting his mind and making him want to do  _things_.

He’d never been like this before. He didn’t dream about people like this.

He needed to take a shower.

As soon as he made a move to turn George, trying to get off the sofa, his grip tightened, and without opening his eyes he mumbled, “Don’t leave me.”

Josh stopped for a second.

“I need to take a shower,” he whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

George nodded, and reluctantly let go of Josh’s shirt to let him get up.

His clothes were still damp, and it was super uncomfortable to move. Before he left, he stole a last glance at George. He was still wearing his shirt – which was all wrinkled up - and hadn’t even taken off his shoes.

Josh debated for a while if he shouldn’t just get out of there, but before he knew what he was doing, he knelt to take off the kid’s shoes. George was mumbling something as he moved on the sofa, and when Josh was about to leave he heard him say softly,  “Take my shirt too.”

He knew that wasn’t a good idea, but his body was screaming at him to do it. Josh didn’t have control issues, he could control his instincts better than anyone; he‘d spent most of his life pretending and hiding his feelings.

He’d had to control all kinds of urges, whether it was to speak his mind or kill someone. Josh could suppress them and remain cool when anybody else would flip out; that’s why people said he was cold.

But when it came to George, everything was so different.

Josh reached out and gently grabbed the hem of George’s shirt. George was so sleepy, he didn’t even open his eyes, just brought his arms up and let Josh take that bloody shirt off him.

Josh’s eyes wandered all over George’s naked torso. He couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He’d never felt attracted to guys before, but there was something about the tone of George’s skin that was drawing him in.

There was something about the width of his shoulders and the prominence of his collar bones that lured him, daring him to bite, and kiss, and touch, and feel the warmth of his skin. Just like the v lines above his jeans were teasing him to look further down and discover what was hidden underneath his clothes.  

He turned around, heading towards the stairs.

This wasn’t right. If there was an urge he never felt the need to control, it was this one – the urge to take someone and make them his.

But it just didn’t feel right with George. He didn’t want to make it feel he was just using George, because he definitely wasn’t.

With anyone else, he just didn’t care about their feelings; he was just taking what he wanted. That’s what attracted him to Megan so much in the first place. She didn’t want  _a boyfriend_ ; she wanted a fuck buddy, just like Josh.

George was special. And he deserved better.

And with that thought, he turned the cold water on and stepped in the shower.

 

~ 

 

Waking up early was always unpleasant. Mason Walker was definitely not a fan of mornings.

It was especially unpleasant when what wakes you up is the ringtone of your phone.

“Hello,” he greeted, not bothering to check the caller ID. Whoever it was, they better have a very good reason to wake him up at seven in the morning.

“ _Walker_ ,” a mocking tone greeted on the other side. “ _You sound sleepy mate, did I wake you up?”_

Walker sighed, rolling his eyes and sitting up on the bed. “What do you want Burke?” he said impatiently. Zac Burke was not his favourite person in the world – now even less.

“ _Jesus, mate, why so cold?”_   Burke said in a mocking tone. “ _Was your trip back to France pleasant?_ ” he continued.

Walker ran a hand through his short brown hair and sighed again, trying to keep calm.

“Will you cut the crap and just say whatever the fuck you want to say?”

There was laughter on the other side of the line. “ _Fine!_ ” he said, taking a deep breath before he continued in a more serious tone of voice.

“ _Everything’s taken care of. I’ve found the place where Cuthbert’s little bitch studies, and it took me a while but I managed to, well, get inside and find the kid’s file and schedule_ ,” Burke said, and Walker listened in silence.  

_“I’ve also set the police on Hamblett’s tracks. He can’t move a finger without compromising himself and every dealer he supplies, including Hensley’s club.”_

“Good,” Walker said – finally good news. It turned out Burke was good for something besides pissing Walker off.

“So, are you telling your boss, or…?” Burke asked, and Walker raised an eyebrow.

“He’s your boss too. Why aren’t you calling him and bragging about your accomplishments?” Walker said.

Burke replied with dry laughter.    

 _“Mason, mate, there’s some people I just don’t mess with_ ,” he said. Walker scoffed.

“I thought Cuthbert was one of those,” Walker mocked.

 _“Oh, he is_ ,” Burke replied.“ _But you see, falling on your boss’s good grace is kind of worth it._ ”

“He’s your boss too,” Walker insisted again.

“ _He’s just paying me to do him a favor_ ,” Burke said. “ _You’re the one who has to account to him_.”

Walker took a deep breath. “Fine, whatever you say, as long as you do a good job. I’m meeting with him in a few days.”

“ _Alright_ ,” Burke said, and right before he ended the call he added, “ _Oh,_   _and you might wanna tell him that his daughter is here, too_.”

 

~ 

 

Jaymi was closing the door of his flat when he heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.

He turned around to find Josh drying his wet hair with a towel and looking at him, rather surprised. Then Jaymi noticed the sleeping George sprawled on his sofa, shirtless, his clothes thrown around on the floor.

“Wha-…?” Josh started.

When he saw Jaymi’s eyes widening Josh followed his gaze with a frown, and then he himself widened his eyes, turning back to Jaymi.

Both of Jaymi’s hand shot up in a defensive manner. “Dude, I’m not judging,” he said, “you’re just lucky it was me and not JJ coming through that door.”

Josh felt like he’d just been slapped stupid; he was speechless.

“You know what, I kind of suspected you liked him, but honestly I never thought you’d be on  _our team_.” Jaymi said with a suggestive smile.

Josh had to shake his head and blink several times.  _What?_

“What the fuck, Jaymi, nothing happened!” Josh finally managed to say. Jaymi took another look at the scenery in front of him.

“Really?” he said, kind of disbelieving.

“Yeah, really!” Josh said, throwing the towel in his hand at Jaymi’s head, who laughed.

Both heard a whining noise coming from the sofa and turned around to find George starting to sit up, “I’m cold,” George whined, leaning his head against the backrest of the sofa.

“Go take a shower,” Jaymi said, fighting back the urge to laugh. Josh was walking towards the kitchen, not making eye contact with either of them.

“I don’t have any other clothes in here,” George said, standing up.

Jaymi looked at Josh with a huge smile on his face. “Well, I’m sure Josh doesn’t mind lending you some.”

The blush on George’s cheeks was the last drop for Jaymi, and he started laughing like a mad man, startling Josh, who almost let his mug fall when taking it out of the cabinet.

Sure enough, when George got out of the bathroom, there was already a white shirt and a pair of jeans sprawled on Josh’s bed, as well as a blue hoodie hanging on the door knob, waiting for him.

Josh’s clothes were a little bit big on him, but George didn’t really mind .

When he came downstairs he found JJ and Jaymi talking about something as they set the plates. He caught the words, “I still need to talk to him about this; there’s still a lot to explain to George,” leaving JJ’s mouth, and he was sure Josh had)told them about his recent findings.

Josh was sitting on the sofa, talking on the phone, and when his eyes shot up to meet George coming down the stairs he just stopped talking suddenly, looking at George, mouth agape.

George felt his cheeks heat up and he bit back a smile – he too felt somehow…  _funny_ wearing Josh’s clothes.

They smelled just like Josh and it was intoxicating.

 

~

 

“Please man, please, please I need it!” the girl cried, reaching out to grip Josh’s jacket pleadingly.

He grabbed her hands. “No money for me, no heroin for you,” Josh said, and smiled coldly before pushing her away from him, turning away from the blonde girl. She was sweating, the dark circles under her eyes seemed darker and her features were sharper each time she came to Josh.

He had no idea what her name was – and he didn’t want to know either – but she was reaching the abyss. Josh could see she wasn’t going to last much longer.

“I’ll do whatever you want, please, I need it,” she pleaded, shaking on the ground, “I need it! Whatever you want, please…”

Josh stopped in his tracks and turned around, taking a deep breath. He crouched to look at her, and without any kind of emotion in his voice, he said, “There’s nothing I want from you, sweetheart; absolutely nothing.”

“But go ahead and try your luck with another dealer; you might get lucky,” he smiled and winked at her, getting up to walk away from her.

He knew perfectly well what she was offering. It wasn’t the first time a girl had tried to sell him her own body in exchange for drugs.

What Josh said about trying with other dealers was also true; as much as it disgusted him, Josh knew guys that accepted trades like that.

Josh lit up a cigarette, walking towards the entrance of the alley. He was calling it a night.

His phone vibrated in his pockets with a new message from JJ.

_Police guy is here again. Need you to take George home, I don’t want him to see him with me._

 

~

 

George was still wearing his clothes and it made Josh feel weird in a good way. It felt like a statement.

_You are mine._

And Josh’s possessive side wanted nothing more than prove it to him, not only by having him wear his clothes but also by marking it on his skin.

He knew he had to control himself, but he couldn’t help it.

It was all so contradicting. Part of him was telling him to keep going down the stairs, back to his motorcycle, and ride home, and then there was also this small voice in the back of his head telling him louder and louder,  _Stop. Go back to him._

George’s face when Josh had left wasn’t leaving him alone. He was hoping Josh would stay, he could see it written all over his face, he wanted Josh to stay, but he didn’t know how to voice it.

Josh thought about his dream. He thought about the state in which he woke up  _just_ because of a dream.

And the promise of reality being  _so much better_  was what made him stop in his tracks, run up the stairs to JJ’s flat, and knock on the door.

He saw George’s face lite up in a split second, before he grabbed the kid’s face and kissed the air out of him, stepping inside the flat and closing the door behind him with a bang.


	16. Chapter 15

 

* * *

 

 

 

George was prepared for that. He was hoping Josh would stay, but expected otherwise.

George didn’t blame him, but still, as the door closed he felt disappointment wash over him. Maybe Josh just didn’t want him.

Deep down, it stung.

Maybe the reason Josh just walked out wasn’t because he thought they were going too fast, or because he thought George didn’t have anything to prove him.

Maybe the reason was Josh just wasn’t attracted to him. Josh had spent the whole day avoiding looking at him, and whenever he did, there were a ton of mixed feelings swimming in his eyes that left George insecure about this whole thing.

What if he regretted kissing him? What if he was just confused and wanted to  _try_? What if this whole thing was an experiment, and Josh didn’t really like George?

What if-

He shook his head.

_Stop. Stop over thinking._

George was about to go to his room – the spare one JJ had set just for him – when there was a knock on the door.

His heart skipped a beat and George turned around, storming at the door.

Josh was panting on the other side, and as soon as George opened the door, he flung himself at George, kissing him eagerly and making him take a few steps back.

George’s arms came up and around Josh’s neck, and he broke the kiss.

“I thought you were leaving,” George said, breathless. Josh’s eyes met his and George could see the dark of his pupils slowly taking over the blue.

Josh’s arms were around his waist, and he held him tighter, his gaze falling on George’s lips. “I changed my mind.”

The huskiness in his voice, along with the dazed look on Josh’s face, threw George off his feet, and his heart started hammering in his chest. There was a warmth in his belly slowly spreading over his body.   

“You did?” he whispered, breathless, his lips brushing against Josh’s, eyes closed.

“Yeah,” Josh started, a hand on his neck, thumb tilting George’s head slightly back, “I did.”

Something in his voice told George that this was also an answer for some unasked question that was somewhere lost in between them.

Josh kissed him again, his other hand playing with the hem of George’s – Josh’s – shirt, pulling it up, to let his hand touch George’s skin. George held on tighter to Josh’s jacket as he walked him backwards against the wall.

His hands were cold, George noticed, but he didn’t mind.

George’s back hit the wall and he let out a cry against Josh’s lips. It echoed inside Josh’s head and he felt it quickening the blood in his veins, rushing through his body so fast he thought the heat might make him melt against George.

Josh stepped closer, his leg in between George’s thighs, his whole body pressed against George.

The younger boy’s hands were fumbling with Josh’s jacket, trying desperately to take it off as fast as he could; he wanted to feel the heat of Josh’s skin against his hands.

Josh’s lips kissed their way to George’s neck, and the younger boy closed his eyes, mouth ajar, tilting his head to give him better access. His hands were gripping Josh’s shoulders tight, pulling at his shirt.

Josh was kissing his skin, and feeling him  _there_ , pressed close against him, still wasn’t enough.

His hands came down on George’s hips, and he lifted him up, hands on George’s thighs, making him wrap his legs around Josh’s waist. With his arms around Josh’s neck, George’s breath caught in his throat when he felt the friction the movement created. His whole body was vibrating at this point.

Holding Josh close as he leaned back against the wall, his fingers flew to his hair, yanking his face back to look up at him.

George heard Josh’s groan at that, and felt the unexpected thrust Josh’s hips gave against him. He could feel just how this closeness was affecting Josh, and it was electrifying to know he was the cause of Josh’s hard-on.

He met Josh’s eyes, but couldn’t say a word. Instead, he kissed him, hard, sucking the air in between their lips, sealing them together.

Josh’s hips were now fully pressed against George to hold him up on the wall as his hands brought the shirt up to take it off.

George’s mind was on overdrive. He couldn’t stop to think even if he wanted to.

It was all so good his body was on fire – it was honestly the most accurate way to describe what he was feeling. Every move of Josh against him was making him see stars, every time he dared to close his eyes he felt dizzy with  _desire_.

As soon as his shirt was on the floor, Josh’s mouth connected with his collar bones, those damned collar bones that were just begging to be kissed and sucked and bitten and _marked_.

The younger boy let a whimper escape his lips when Josh’s teeth scraped his skin gently, right before he felt his tongue running over the bite. George’s whole body was arching towards Josh’s touch, his hands pulling at his shirt to take it off, but Josh wasn’t letting go of touching George.

“Take it off,” George whispered, “Stop - just take it off,  _please_.”

Josh wasn’t even listening anymore. George’s tone of voice was driving him mad with desire and he couldn’t stop touching him.

“Josh!” George moaned, tugging his shirt up. Josh raised his arms, his hips pressing George against the wall, George’s legs around him being the only thing keeping the other boy up.

George’s lips were already red and swollen, and he was looking so dazed, that Josh was honestly barely able to pull it together anymore.

All he wanted to do was  _take him_  right then and there.

Josh’s hands darted down towards George’s trousers and his nose buried in his neck, George’s scent leaving him completely inebriated.

“Fuck, George,” he mumbled against his skin, and the younger boy held on tighter to his neck, his breathing fast and ragged on Josh’s ear, making his hips thrust forward and creating a sweet,  _sweet_  friction that was making him see stars. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

George couldn’t control the moan that escaped his lips at Josh’s words. He closed his eyes, fingers intertwining in Josh’s hair, pulling slightly but keeping him close.

“Bed,” he murmured, breathless, his heart beating fast and loud in his ears. “Take me to the bed,” he whispered in Josh’s ear, his hips rolling right back against Josh’s.

The older boy had to close his eyes, and George’s voice in his ear was so…  _husky_ , he could feel himself shaking to keep control.

Josh wasted no time, and, holding George up, he turned around, moving as fast as he could towards one of the doors. He had no idea if it even was the right door, but he didn’t care, and George wasn’t protesting.

Kicking the door open with his foot, Josh entered the room and pushed George against the door, closing it with a bang.

George let out a dry cry as his back hit the door that was cut off by Josh’s lips against his mouth, his hands letting go of George’s legs and resting on the wall on either side of him.

George felt his knees give up for a second as soon as his feet touched the floor, and he gripped Josh’s shoulders for support.

Josh’s hands were suddenly on George’s trousers, fumbling with the button, and George started kicking his own shoes off. He grabbed Josh’s hands and broke the kiss, his eyes meeting a very confused Josh. George bit his lip to keep from smiling, and with his hands on his chest, George shoved Josh back.

Josh was a bit surprised at first, his eyes widening, confused with George’s actions. But then he looked at George, saw the fire in his eyes and how he was biting his lip.

George strode back to Josh in a couple of steps, only to shove him again, and this time Josh fell on the queen sized bed, holding himself up by his elbows. As he looked at George, he felt something in his belly clench and his blood rush south straight to his hard-on and,  _fuck_.

“Wait here,” George said, and he ran out of the room.

Josh furrowed his brow. “What the fuck?” he mumbled, sitting up on the bed. “George?” he called, and silence was the only answer. Seconds later, he showed up at the door again, breathing fast, cheeks flushed, and when he raised his hand, Josh could see he was holding something.

“I thought we might need this,” George said, gripping the small metallic square in one hand, “and this,” he finished, raising his other hand, with which he was holding a small blue bottle.

Josh swallowed hard, the sudden reality of what they were about to do hitting him. He was apprehensive, yes, but all it took to chase that away was a look in George’s direction.

“Fuck yeah, we’re going to need that,” he said. George bit his lip, closed the door, and started walking towards Josh. He threw the condom and the lube on the bed before he stopped at the bed’s foot.

George took off Josh’s boots, way too slowly for Josh’s liking, and then, with his lips still shining and his pupil’s blown, he crawled on top of Josh, searching for his lips.

Josh’s fingers made their way down George’s back, sliding underneath his trousers and bringing them down as his hands wandered down his legs, and George followed his lead, unbuttoning his trousers too.

They were both in their underwear in no time, and their skin was touching fully from head to toe. George’s fingers were tracing down Josh’s stomach, heading slowly and hesitantly towards Josh’s hard-on. George‘s hand hovered on top of his bulge, and Josh couldn’t help but thrust up against him, chasing the contact, fancying the sweet friction it produced.

Josh’s hands trailed down from his hips to his thighs, pulling them up on either side of him, forcing George to spread on top of him, and as if on instinct, George’s hip started rolling against Josh’s.

Josh wasted no time, because he didn’t think he could deal with this teasing for any longer. He rolled George around on the bed and slid his boxers down his legs and off him.

He couldn’t help but look down at him, and he felt a rush of fire coursing through his body at how hard George was, all because of him.

Looking up and back at him, he saw a blush tinting George’s cheeks, and George looked away for a second. Josh immediately saw it for what it was, and he turned his face back to meet George’s gaze. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he whispered.

George bit his lip for a second, and then his hand was around Josh’s neck, bringing him down to kiss him again.

Josh’s hand wandered down the other boy’s body to wrap around George, moving slowly, tentatively. George let out a cry against Josh’s lips when he felt his hand around him, moving, and he wasn’t sure how he wasn’t flying over the edge right now, because it felt  _fucking amazing._

It didn’t last long because somehow the small blue bottle forgotten on the bed was now in Josh’s hand, and he was opening it.

George’s breath caught in his throat as he followed Josh’s actions.

“Don’t be scared,” Josh said, his chest right against George’s, his lips brushing against George’s as he spoke. He brought George’s left leg up. “I’ll make you feel so good, George,” he whispered. Josh didn’t know much about being with boys, but he wasn’t stupid either. He knew the basics of what he had to do to make George feel good too.

George closed his eyes, and his hand gripped Josh’s arm tight as he felt his cold fingers against his entrance; his whole body tensed.

“Relax,” Josh whispered in his ear. He kissed his cheek and then his forehead.

It was hard to do what Josh was telling him to, but still George made an effort to take his mind off everything and just focus on Josh’s lips against his forehead. He felt his heart inflaming at the intimacy of the gesture.

Josh started moving his fingers experimentally and slowly, making George feeling more and more relaxed with every movement. At first, it just felt weird, but then Josh’s fingers started bending inside of him and he was grazing a specific spot and-

_Oh._

George’s eyes flew open, his sudden intake of breath stopping Josh.

“Am I hurting you?” Josh whispered, searching his face for any kind of signs.

“No,” George whispered, and he thrusted back against Josh’s fingers, speaking in a breathless voice, “don’t stop, Josh.”

And Josh did just what he asked. Keeping up with the movement, he kissed George again, playing around with his tongue, hitting all the right spots.

Soon enough George had to stop the kissing, barely able to control his breathing anymore, tension building up in his abdomen.

Josh could feel George’s body writhing underneath him, and his sighs turned into moans that were driving Josh mad, provoking a fire inside him that was threatening to burn every last bit of his mental sanity in the sweetest of ways.

“ _Josh,_ ” George cried out, his fingers digging in the skin of his arms, “just stop it,” he breathed out, his back arching slightly, his mouth ajar. He wasn’t going to last much longer if Josh kept going, increasing the rhythm of his thrusts like that.

It was all so intoxicating.

“Josh, please!” he whispered, feeling closer and closer. George didn’t want it to end now. He wanted to go all the way. Josh’s face was buried in his neck, his teeth nibbling at his skin, leaving his mark there. He was feeling so dazed, completely high with every response of George’s body, every sound he made.

But then, nearly breathless, his voice husky, George spoke again.

“I want you to take me, Josh.” His heart skipped a beat at those words.“Just…  _fuck me_ ,” he whispered.

Josh nearly came right then and there.

His movements after that became blurry and automatic, because he felt like there was nothing left inside of him to even  _think_. He felt like that haunting warmth had finally set fire to his very soul, and every part of his being was burning with the overwhelming desire to have that boy.

He grabbed the condom and the blue bottle and before he knew it, both George’s legs were wrapped around his waist, and he was falling down against him, invading his body as slowly as he could possibly bring himself to.

It hurt, and George couldn’t deny it. He was biting his lip and trying to hold any sound in; his brows were knitted together in an expression of pain George didn’t want Josh to see.

“I’m sorry, “Josh mumbled, and George nodded because he knew this was a part of it all, but he wasn’t stopping.

When he was fully inside George, Josh started moving, slowly at first.

George’s arms came up around and his fingers intertwined in his hair, pulling slightly as he struggled to keep quiet.

“Don’t-,” Josh moaned, his eyes fluttering shut with all the sensations taking over his body at the moment. “Don’t hold back. I want to hear you.”

“ _Oh my God,”_ George cried out.

At that, Josh really couldn’t help it, and his hips snapped forward in a deep thrust that made George call his name out loud. He was hitting that sweet spot again, and George’s mind was blank at this point.

Josh felt dizzy with how overwhelming it all was. He did it again and again, and again, increasing the rhythm, and George’s nails were digging in down his back as their gasps and sighs and moans filled the air around them.

George was so close, just so close that he was mumbling things with absolutely no sense at all, begging Josh to move faster, to touch him, to just  _make him come._

And so, doing exactly what George was asking him to, Josh wrapped a hand around his hard-on, the extra stimulation almost blinding George with the intensity of the waves of pleasure invading him.

“Josh, oh God,-“ George was mumbling. “I’m so, so close, Josh, don’t- don’t stop, ever, _don’t ever stop_!”

Josh was determined to push George over the edge first, to make him feel in complete bliss. Just the dazed look on his face was making it hard for him to control himself, and the sounds he was making as he called Josh’s name were making him  _high_.

It only took a few more movements of his body, and George was writhing underneath him, gasping, his nails digging in on his back.

“Come on,  _baby_ , just,  _come on_ ,” Josh whispered in his ear.

George lost it. He felt himself falling over the edge, the tightness in his abdomen exploding in waves of pure electric fire all over his body, making his toes curl and his fingers dig further in Josh’s back as the older boy smashed his mouth against George’s.

He felt Josh’s body tensing, and then he broke the kiss, crying out “ _George_!” and George held on tighter to him, before Josh’s whole body weight fell on top of him.

George was numb. He felt like he wouldn’t be able to move even if he wanted too, because his legs were limp and his heart was hammering in his chest, threatening to break his ribcage.

He felt Josh getting up, but he couldn’t even open his eyes anymore. Everything was blurry and heavy around him and he just wanted to sleep, but not without Josh right next to him.

When he returned to bed again, he somehow managed to pull the sheets back from underneath George and climb in bed, falling right next to him.

It all felt so unreal – the kind of unreal that could only be provided by dreams.

George wasn’t aware if he was dreaming or not, still buzzing with all kinds of weird feelings and sensation, but he smiled.

He was so tired, but he smiled, because he could feel Josh’s body heat irradiating right next to him, and when he rolled to his side to face him, and his hand reached out, grasping his, Josh held it tightly.

Maybe yes, he was already dreaming, or maybe not. Whichever was the answer, George wasn’t dwelling on it anymore, because his brain was already slowly shutting down.

And maybe it was exactly because he wasn’t thinking anymore that he found his lips moving again in a whispered, “I love you,” right before everything turned black.

 


	17. Chapter 16

 

* * *

 

 

Josh could feel Megan’s brown hair tingling against his skin as her head fell against his shoulder. Both of them were still breathing fast, and Josh’s arms were starting to shake from holding her up against the bathroom stall.

She untangled her legs from around his hips and fixed her dress and her hair without saying a word.

Megan looked up and saw Josh looking back at her with a thoughtful expression. She smirked, eyebrows raising on her forehead. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, hand on the door, ready to unlock and push it open.

“Josh,” she said, and there was something in her voice that made him stop, shoulders tensing. “I know what you did,” she said in a neutral voice, adding, “with Ella,” after a pause.

Josh remained silent without looking at her.

“And?” he said nonchalantly. It shouldn’t concern her what he did or didn’t do. They both knew this wasn’t a normal  _relationship_. It shouldn’t follow the normal rules either, but deep down Josh was kind of hoping she’d be at least  _bothered_  by it.

“She loves you. You’re going to break her heart,” Megan said in a serious tone, and Josh was caught off guard for a moment. Then he felt angry, because yes, she was bothered, but simply for the fact that he might hurt Ella, not because he had slept with someone else.

She was such a fucking hypocrite. It wasn’t just Josh that was hurting Ella; Megan was breaking her heart too. However, Megan kept Josh close, unwilling to stop it all even if Josh wanted to.

He didn’t, though, because he didn’t care about  _feelings_ ; Ella’s, Megan’s or anyone else’s. Josh wanted this.

But somehow, he felt trapped and he wanted to break free.

He shook his head and unlocked the door. “It’s a bit late for that;  _we_  already did.”

When he reached the restaurant table where they were all sitting, Belrose asked him who was on the phone and Josh made up some lie as he watched Megan getting back from the bathroom after cleaning the dress that she  _accidentally_  stained with wine.

Ella didn’t say a word, but Josh could see just by the look in her eyes exactly how broken her heart already was.

 

~~

 

It was rather cold outside. Josh didn’t really mind the cold; it was so much more bearable than the heat of summer. For him, that was one of summer’s main inconveniences – feeling like you’re suffocating with the heat, uncomfortable in every single position, sweat always soaking your clothes, making it impossible to even move, like your own skin was trapping you somehow.   

Taking the cigarette back to his lips, he leaned with both elbows on the windowsill, the cold breeze hitting his naked chest.

He never liked feeling trapped, either physically or metaphorically, and people and their words and gestures tended to make him feel like that.

_I love you._

He’d heard it before and it had made him feel trapped, wanting to run away as fast as he could. But when George said it, Josh didn’t feel alarmed. It had had this numbing effect on him, like everything suddenly was calm and quiet and  _right_.

Josh’s screaming thoughts of everything that could go wrong were silenced for a moment, and he could just close his eyes and feel like, for the first time, everything was alright.

Even if it wasn’t quite true.

He heard the front door opening and right away he knew it was JJ.

_Shit._

Throwing his cigarette out of the window, Josh hurried to the other side of the room, grabbing his jeans and putting them on as fast as he could. He looked around for his shirt, but then, in a flash he remembered George taking it off him and throwing it around in the living room.

He closed his eyes and bit his lip, cursing mentally – there was no way JJ wasn’t finding out what had just happened here.

Josh looked at the sleeping George in the bed and felt his heart skip a beat. He was lying on his stomach; the sheet had slid down to his waist, the rest of the covers kicked back at the feet of the bed, and his leg was already showing, his foot dangling out of bed.

He was about to move to pull the covers up when the door opened and JJ came in.

His eyes locked on Josh’s and his expression was a mix between relief - probably because it was Josh and not a random stranger - surprise, confusion, and anger.

“What the fuck?” he said, and Josh walked towards him, signaling him to keep quiet, stealing a glance at George and leading JJ out of the room.

 “What the fuck are you doing, Cuthbert?” JJ said, pushing his hands away from him.

“Calm down, man, there’s no need to act like this is some kind of scandal, it’s just s-”

“You better think twice about what you’re about to say right now, Josh,” JJ said in a threatening tone, a finger jabbing Josh’s chest. JJ was  _really_  angry; Josh could see how hard he was trying to contain himself and not burst out shouting or punching the shit out of Josh.

Josh opened his mouth to speak again, but JJ interrupted him. “He fucking likes you. Fucking hell, he’s crazy about you, and this was the worst thing you could do!” Josh frowned at that. ”Shit, after all I did to keep George away from all this…”

Josh was going to protest, say JJ got it wrong and it really wasn’t like that, he cared for George and this wasn’t a one-time-only thing. But then he realized JJ’s problem wasn’t about that. He probably knew Josh cared for George, and he was fine with it.

The thing bothering him was the fact that all this brought George into their world, and even if he wasn’t  _doing_  anything, he was now something like Josh’s  _weakness_  because Josh had feelings for him.

How many people were waiting for an opportunity like this to get back at Josh? To  _really_ hurt him?

“I won’t let anything happen to him, you know that,” Josh reassured, grabbing his arm to keep JJ from pacing around in the living room.

“I know you won’t,” JJ said, “but there’s some shit we just can’t control.”

“I’ll keep him away and safe from it all,” Josh said.“Trust me.”

“He has no clue how to protect himself, Josh, and I haven’t even told him half the shit that goes down-”

Josh interrupted him with a firm, “I’ll protect him. I promise.”

And that must’ve convinced JJ, at least for now, because he sighed after a long pause and gave a tentative smile. “You better treat him right, or I will hunt your ass down, Cuthbert.”

Josh smiled back.

He was leaving towards his room when he turned around to add, “Oh, and please pick up your fucking clothes, this place looks like a fucking strip club.”

Josh laughed and collected his shirt from the floor, returning to the bedroom where George was still sleeping. 

 

~ 

 

Driving through the gates of the Belrose Mansion, Mason Walker was mentally preparing himself for this lunch meeting with his boss.

After he parked his car, he made his way up the stairs, all the way practicing his speech over and over in his head.

Part of the news would certainly please his boss, but knowing his daughter Ella was also there instead of in Italy, where he sent her to in holidays, would make him furious. And when he got mad, he got rather irrational.

Proof of that was what Belrose did when he found Cuthbert in bed with his wife. He almost killed him.

Walker also heard Cuthbert somehow turned the tables around, and he was the one who ended up with his hands around Belrose’s neck, ready to snap it; he also heard Belrose’s wife was the one who kept that from happening.

He’d been looking for Josh Cuthbert ever since then.

“What is it you have to say to me that couldn’t wait, Mason?” Belrose said in his light tone and thick french accent, a sort of friendliness that was more unsettling than comforting coloring his voice. Megan Belrose was sitting next to him, not saying a single word since the beginning of the meeting.

Walker cleared his throat and sat up straighter.

“I came back from England a few days ago and I’ve been trying to reach you ever since, but.-”

“ _Oui, oui, continuez_!” Belrose said, waving impatiently for him to get along with it.

“I-,” he stopped. “I’ve been working with Burke and,” there was a pause before he said, “We found him, Boss.”

The whole room paused for a second and Belrose just stared at him. He saw Megan’s eyes shoot up from her plate, wide and somehow scared, knowing exactly what that meant.

“You found Cuthbert?” he finally said in a serious and cold tone.

Walker nodded, his gaze back on his boss’s serious expression. “He’s staying in a small town east from London, and,” his eyes flinched towards Megan before he said, “There’s someone there he really cares about.”

Megan’s eyes dropped back to her plate, a mix of feelings crossing her face before she could hide it properly. But Belrose wasn’t paying attention to her.

Walker wasn’t sure what he expected to come out of Belrose’s mouth, but the laugher took him completely by surprise.

“That fucking bastard finally slipped!” Belrose said. “I knew it was only a matter of time. This is great news, Mason, very good job!” he added.

Walker took a deep breath. “Boss, that’s not all,” he said, and then added hesitantly, “Your daughter Ella is also there.”

Again, the silence filled the room. It was only after a few seconds that Belrose’s cold angry tone replaced it.

_“What?”_

“I have no idea what she is doing there, but-”

Belrose interrupted him again.

“I hope you haven’t unpacked yet, Walker,” he said more calmly but just as coldly, “because you are going back there. And this time I’m coming with you.”

 

~

 

“Hello?”

_“Jaymi, I think we have a problem.”_

“Fucking shit, another one? Just add it in the pile and I’ll deal with it after I wake up properly,” Jaymi said in a tired voice.

 _“Aren’t you supposed to be in the pub though?”_  JJ asked.

“No. I’m my own boss, fuck you,” Jaymi said, sitting up and yawning as he looked over at the clock on the bedside table that marked 1pm. “Is that why you called me? To bitch about me not going to work?” Jaymi said teasingly, a half small curling his lip.

“ _Josh and George fucking slept together_ ,” JJ shot, and Jaymi went silent.

“Well, it was only a matter of time, really,” Jaymi said, shrugging to himself as he laid back on the bed.

 _“For fuck’s sake, how am I supposed to look at my innocent little cousin again without that fucking image popping up in my head?”_  JJ whined.

 “Wait, did you walk in on them?” Jaymi asked, brows rising on his forehead.

“ _No! Fuck no_!” JJ hissed on the other side of the line. “ _It’s just… Jesus, I never spoke to the kid about this kind of stuff before and I’m fucking frea-_ ”

Jaymi couldn’t help but start laughing like a mad man, interrupting JJ.

“ _What the fuck, stop laughing at me, you bitch!”_  JJ protested.

Jaymi couldn’t even breathe at this point, the idea of JJ trying to talk about George about gay sex and explaining everything about the  _mechanics_  of it and advising him to be safe was just fucking hilarious.

_“Jaymi, this is serious!”_

“You do- you do realize you want to talk with your seventeen year old non-virginal cousin about butt sex don’t you?" Jaymi said in between laugher.

“ _Well, someone fucking needs to! I doubt anyone ever talked to him about his own sexuality, let alone how this works! It’s a huge gap_ ,” JJ said.

“I’m pretty sure Josh has that… gap…  _filled_  already,” Jaymi said, bursting into laughter again.

“ _Fuck you, Jaymi! That is just too fucking soon_!”

“You know what, it’s also too soon for me to wake up  _and yet_ …” Jaymi said.

“I haven’t slept the whole night either…” JJ mumbled.

There was silence between them and then Jaymi spoke up.

“Come over, then, before you scar George for life with your adult talks.”

JJ laughed softly on the other side of the line. “I’ll be there in five.”

And sure enough, five minutes later he was making his way through Jaymi’s flat, up the stairs and into his room, taking his jacket off and kicking his shoes to a corner.

JJ lay next to Jaymi, arms snaking around him to pull him closer, burying his nose in his neck, and pressing his body against Jaymi’s.

“You’re supposed to sleep,” Jaymi mumbled without opening his eyes, “and your hands are freezing.”

JJ’s hand came up underneath Jaymi’s shirt, making him hiss. “I pay you exactly to let me warm them up,” he said, smiling against Jaymi’s skin.

Jaymi scoffed. “I’m not your bitch, fuck you,” he said in a teasing tone, hiding his smile.

“I’m waiting for you to. For a long time, to be honest. I think I’m getting blue balls and everything, every time I get with you, Jaymi.” JJ’s voice was dragging with sleep already.

Jaymi chuckled. “I don’t think you even know what that is JJ.”

“Yeah I do. It’s the effects of your fucking teasing,” JJ whispered. “This is not what I thought having a boyfriend would be like.”

Jaymi felt his heart skip a beat, and his eyes shot open at those words. Then, slowly, he turned around in JJ’s arms, to find him with his eyes closed, breathing calm, almost asleep.

For a moment he thought he misheard him. But then, with a last sigh JJ added, “You’re a really lousy boyfriend, Jaymi,” and he smiled, closing his eyes too.

He had heard him just fine after all.


	18. Chapter 17

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Ella,” James called, shaking the girl’s shoulder lightly. “Ella, wake up.”

She had fallen asleep on the sofa while watching television. 

Ella hadn’t slept at all last night, and was now constantly dozing off. This was probably James trying to keep her awake and keep her from messing her sleeping schedule up.

He was kneeling on the floor in from of her, his phone in his hand and his expression dead serious; there was something going on.

“What’s going on?” Ella asked, frowning and lifting herself up into a sitting position, all sleepiness gone suddenly. James swallowed and took a deep breath before talking.

“Your father found out Josh is here,” he said. “It’s only a matter of days before he shows up.”

A cold breathtaking wave of fear took over Ella, and she felt her heart drop to her feet and her whole body freeze.

“ _What?_ ” she managed to say. This was the worst thing that could possibly happen. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her blood was pulsing right on her temple in what was the beginning of a headache.

“I just got a call from back home,” James said, his eyes scanning Ella’s face. “There’s no time left anymore, Ella. You need to tell him. You need to take him out of here.”

She knew she did. Ella knew exactly what she had to do, but she was so scared Josh wouldn’t believe her, that he would refuse to leave because of…  _George._

Ella had to convince him; staying wasn’t an option.

Just imagining the worst possible scenarios was making her panic; if her father put his hands on Josh…

“He will kill him,” James said.

She was thinking the very same thing, but hearing it out loud was making it feel so much more real. Ella had to take a deep breath, her hands, shaking, cupped her face. “ _Oh mon Dieu…_ ”

 

~

 

When Josh woke up, he could hear somewhere in the house the faint sound of George’s voice, and water falling. Opening his eyes, he found the bed empty and the door ajar.

Josh stood up, getting out of the room and following George’s singing to the bathroom. The door wasn’t locked so Josh walked in and took his boxers off, making his way towards the shower, sliding the blurred glass door open and stepping in.

George turned around immediately, wide eyed and startled into silence.

Josh smiled. “Why did you stop singing?” he said. George opened his mouth to answer, but Josh interrupted him by stepping in closer and kissing him. George’s arms came up around Josh’s neck, his soapy hands playing with his hair.

Josh’s hands were trailing down his skin to rest on the small of his back. He pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes to find George smiling at him.

“JJ knows about last night,” Josh said. George would have been worried if it wasn’t for the amused smile on Josh’s lips

“You’re still alive, so I take it he took it well?” George said, smiling as well.

“I guess…” Josh shrugged, then remembered their conversation. There was still some things he needed to tell George.

“George,” he started, “he knows, and maybe so does Jaymi by now, but…no one else can know about us.”

George’s hand came up to take his hair out of his eyes.

It was easy to understand why. George didn’t exactly know everything there was to know about what JJ and Josh did, but he understood why they weren’t telling him; from what he had already seen, it was a messed up and dangerous world, and once you were in, there really wasn’t a way out.

George didn’t want to be a liability for Josh or JJ; he didn’t want to cause them trouble or put either of them in a dangerous situation – again.

So he nodded, and kissed Josh again.

All he really wanted was this, right here.

 

~ 

 

JJ had just put his shoes back on and was walking down the stairs to find Jaymi in the kitchen making a sandwich.

“Where are you going?” Jaymi asked when he turned around, walking towards the living room with the sandwich in his hands.

“Home,” JJ said, grabbing his jacket from the back of the sofa. “I’ve got to go grab some packages to deliver today.”

“Why? Today is Sunday!” Jaymi said, trying to reason with him. “And you can’t go home; leave Josh and George alone for a while.”

JJ stopped his actions to look at him, eyebrows raised and his lip curling in a smirk of pure amusement.

“Now, that is just the worst excuse ever to convince me to stay, Jaymi,” he said.

Jaymi sat on the sofa, looking at him with his brow furrowed.

“What are you talking about?” Jaymi said with a fake indifference that made JJ laugh.

“Why don’t you offer me a blowjob instead? That’ll work better, I promise,” JJ said, winking at him and still laughing.

Jaymi never really minded this kind of banter between them, but somehow this felt different now that Jaymi  _was_  giving him what he was asking for. He wasn’t a prude and he didn’t consider sex something  _sacred_  or anything – it was just sex.

But hearing JJ talk about it in such a careless way, like it meant nothing, was getting to Jaymi.

It wasn’t just sex for him, and he thought maybe it wasn’t just sex for JJ either.

Jaymi looked at him indignantly, throwing a pillow at his head.“You fucking twat,” he said, faking a smile and trying to keep up with the banter.

He was trying to take it lightly and not think about it, but there was this uncomfortable sensation in his chest telling him that maybe all JJ wanted from him was sex, and nothing else.

It burned.

Jaymi felt like an idiot for ever thinking that JJ was starting to reciprocate his feelings.  

 

~

 

Josh was lying on the sofa with his phone in his hands. The television was on but he wasn’t paying much attention to it. Neither was George.

George was kneeling on the floor in front of the coffee table with his books on top of it, and he seemed rather concentrated on what he was doing.

From time to time, Josh stole a look in his direction to see George struggling to find a comfortable position; every time he tried to sit on the floor, he winced in pain and readjusted himself.

They’d been doing nothing all afternoon; just sitting around asking random questions about themselves while George was doing his homework, and never had that kid looked as young and innocent as he did now.

For some reason it sent this wave of warm all through his body, and when George tilted his head, he could see the slightly red marks on his neck, and Josh just felt  _smug_  about it. George’s blush and knowing smirk whenever he caught Josh’s gaze on him was only making it worse – it felt so dirty but so _, so good_.

“Alright,” George started after a while, “where did you study?” Josh rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Really?” he said. “Is that the best one you can think of?”

George’s eyes left the textbook where he was writing for a while to look at Josh.

“It’s my turn to ask any question I want, and I want to know about it,” George said. Josh smirked.

“I studied in a boarding school back in France for like… five years,” Josh said.

George widened his eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Josh said, smiling at George’s incredulity. “My parents –” then he stopped himself. George’s brow furrowed and he looked away, feeling like maybe he crossed some kind of line.

He‘d never really thought about Josh’s backgrounds, where he came from, his family, how he get into all this…

“I was an only child and my parents weren’t even planning on having kids in the first place. I guess they felt like I was taking the best years of their life away from them, so they did what they could to try to have them back and sent me to France. They didn’t like these kind of responsibilities very much, anyway,” Josh said in a nonchalant voice.

George was looking at him in silence, trying to figure out what to say.

“That was why you ran away, wasn’t it?” George asked.

Josh shrugged. “Partly, yeah. Why would I want to stay with people who didn’t even want me around in the first place?” he mumbled.

“What was the other reason?” George questioned.

“I don’t know, I felt trapped,” Josh said, closing his eyes.

George could identify with the feeling. For him, coming here to live with JJ, far away from all the shit he had to deal with - and completely alone - was the best thing that had ever happened to him. At least here he felt like he wasn’t being judged, and he had started to accept himself.

Even with all the things he had gone through here; being alone and constantly fighting who he was was so much worse.  

“Have you ever-” George stopped, not sure how to word his thoughts. “Have you ever done drugs? Like… how did you start dealing?”

Josh chuckled at that, softly, mainly because of George’s cautious tone, eyes still closed.

“Yeah, I have. How do you think I came up with the idea of selling them to get some money in the first place? And I found some people who… did the same for a living,” Josh said, looking at him.

Before he could stop himself, because he felt like he was asking too many questions already, George found himself saying “Is that how you know that girl? Ella?”

Josh sighed and nodded. He wasn’t going to lie to George or omit anything. He promised he wouldn’t if George didn’t either, and George had already told him his story – he owed him this.

But it wasn’t exactly easy talking about his life to someone else. Josh always had some trust issues, and well founded ones; even though he knew it was different with George, it was still hard for him to talk.

“I…” he started, not sure how to put it into words, “I worked with her father. A man named Belrose,” Josh said. “He was rich as fuck, believe me, I never lived better than in those few months I’ve been with them…”

“Then why did you leave them?” George asked, rather confused.

At that, Josh tensed visibly, and George immediately regretted opening his mouth. He wanted to know too much already, and Josh wasn’t comfortable with this kind of invasion.

Josh swallowed hard. “Somewhere along the way Ella developed feelings for me and I had… _a thing_  with her mother, Megan,” he finally said, and there was something in the way he said her name that made George look down, a knot in his stomach. Just his tone and how his voice softened subtly as he said that name was enough to make George feel like he was intruding on something that was too important to Josh and none of his business.

It really wasn’t his place, but George felt somehow attacked.

“And Belrose found out…” Josh mumbled.

“Oh…” George said, acknowledging his answer, trying so sound as nonchalant as he could. Josh looked over at him to find George suddenly very focused on his homework, head down looking at the paper, his hair hiding his eyes as he played with the pencil in his hands.

His phone vibrated in his hands with a call from Jaymi.

“Hello?”

 _“Hey, I need you to come over as soon as you can.”_  Jaymi said.

Josh frowned. “Why, what’s up?”

_“I can’t tell you over the phone. Just be as quick as you can, man, it’s important.”_

“Okay… I’ll be there in a bit,” Josh said, and Jaymi just hang up.

Still frowning, he sat up on the sofa, putting his phone in his pocket. “Are you leaving?” George asked when he saw Josh getting up to grab his jacket.

Josh nodded. “Yeah, Jaymi needs me for something, I don’t know.”

George nodded awkwardly.

Josh sighed. He was probably still thinking about what Josh said about Megan. George had a bad habit of over thinking things, Josh noticed, and turn meaningless stuff into some big deals.

In a few steps he strode over to him, kneeling right behind him and putting his arms around his torso as he brought him close against his body. Josh kissed his neck softly, pulling him just a little bit closer when George hissed at the pressure on one of his love bites.

“Remember that concert I said I was giving with my show choir?” George spoke softly, suddenly remembering. Josh nodded against his skin, and George turned around in his arms to face him.

“It’s this Tuesday,” he said, hands gripping Josh’s shoulders. “It’s really stupid but I really want you to be there…” he mumbled, blushing.

Josh smirked and, kissing his lips, he drew back, saying, “Then I’ll be there.”

George’s lips twitched with the smile he was trying to contain.

“Promise?” he asked in a hopeful voice, eyes shining, and once again, Josh was reminded of a character out of a fairytale movie.

“Yeah, I promise,  _princess_.” 

George shoved his shoulder playfully. “Don’t you dare break it!”

Josh laughed. “I won’t,” he promised, and sealed it with a kiss.

 

~

 

From the moment he opened the door to Jaymi’s flat, everything was kind of a blur to Josh.

He remembered seeing Ella there, fighting back tears, rising up in her seat to run in his direction, saying something that wasn’t making any sense. He remembered staring at her, confused as she gripped his shirt.

He remembered Jaymi talking to James in a grave manner, serious expressions on both their faces, and JJ climbing down the stairs with a bag – Josh’s bag – in his hand.

He heard Ella saying something along the lines of “He’s found you, Josh! You have to get out of here!” and suddenly everything made sense.

“She’s right,” JJ had said. “You have to leave.”

It made perfect sense in his head. Belrose found him. He had to leave. Simple.

But as he took his bag from JJ’s hands and grabbed his helmet, he felt his heart contract painfully in his chest, and his brain was repeating over and over again one single name.

_George._

He remembered voicing it, and he remembered JJ’s reply, “It’s the only way to keep him safe. They can’t know what he really means to you.”

He shook his head. “I can’t leave him like this…” he said.

“That’s exactly what he thinks. That’s exactly why you have to.”

“No… I’ll keep him safe,” he mumbled.

JJ’s hard expression was still marked in his brain as he said, “You can’t protect both of you and I have the fucking police after me. Josh, you promised me you’d keep him safe.”

_I did. I will._

He was right.

Josh flew out the door and down the stairs and hopped on his motorcycle with his bag on his back and JJ’s own promise he’d take care of George.

He took off as fast as he could with his heart threatening to break inside his chest and George’s face invading his thoughts.

Suddenly, Josh remembered the promise he made to George.

It turned out he was going to break it after all…


	19. Chapter 18

* * *

 

 

 

 

The sound of the door closing was followed by a deafening silence. Jaymi was standing by the big windows of his living room, arms crossed, staring at the huge building of the boarding school; it looked quite small from this distance.

He could hear JJ’s steps as he approached the sofa and his deep sigh as he sat down.

“You can’t tell him the truth,” Jaymi said softly, almost afraid to break the silence.

“What else am I going to tell him?” JJ asked, sounding tired.

Jaymi turned around to face him. “You know George, he’ll try to go after him.”

JJ knew he was right; if George knew the real reason why Josh left, he’d try going after him. If he knew Josh only left to keep him safe, he wouldn’t think twice about finding him again, punching him in the face and then running away  _with_  him, because there was no way George was leaving Josh if he knew Josh really  _cared_  about him.

So the only way was convincing George he didn’t.

JJ looked up at Jaymi, eyebrows knitted together in a defeated expression. “You want me to lie to him.”

“No, I don’t,” Jaymi said, “but it’s what you have to do.”

JJ let his head fall in his hands and closed his eyes. “I can’t break his heart like this,” he mumbled. Jaymi sighed.

“I know…” he started, and after a pause he added, “I’ll talk to him.”

 

~ 

 

His books were already packed and George was waiting for JJ to come over and take him back to school. He glanced at the bedside table to check the time and frowned. He should be here by now.

As if on cue, he heard the front door open and he grabbed his backpack, leaving the room.

“I’m ready to go!” he said defensively and automatically, giving JJ’s habit of bitching about George moving as fast as a snail.

But instead of JJ’s grumbling, he found Jaymi standing in the living room, waiting for him with his car keys in hand.

“Oh, hi Jaymi,” he said, smiling. But Jaymi’s expression was serious, worried and something else that George couldn’t identify but was making him feel nervous. He raised his eyebrows, gripping the strap of his backpack. “Where’s JJ?”

Jaymi swallowed. “He’s fine, he’s taking care of something,” he started.“George… just sit down for a moment.”

And right away there was this strange feeling taking over George and he was dreading whatever Jaymi was going to say already and  _where was Josh anyway?_

“What’s going on?” he asked as he sat on the sofa. “Do you know where Josh is?” He wondered as an afterthought.

Jaymi took a deep breath and, sitting on the small wood coffee table, he faced George. “There’s something I need- something happened-”

He had absolutely no idea how to start this conversation. Jaymi could see the mixture of feelings in George’s eyes and he felt his own stomach turning.

“Jaymi, where is Josh?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice steady, eyes searching frantically for some change in Jaymi’s expression – something to indicate to him things were okay, and Jaymi was just messing with him. But Jaymi wasn’t answering; he seemed lost in search of the right words and George felt his heart tightening, a knot forming in his throat.

“He left,” Jaymi mumbled, looking straight into George’s watering eyes. “He took his things and got out of town.”

Silence again, as George took in everything he was hearing , and then Jaymi was startled by the sound of the boy’s laugh.

“That is not funny, Jaymi, “ George said, red eyed, shaking his head as if reprimanding him for such a bad joke, chuckling to himself. And if, deep down, he knew Jaymi would never joke with George’s feelings like this, he chose to ignore it.

Jaymi squeezed his knee, trying to comfort him as he said, “He’s been playing you all along, George.”

The younger boy shook his head, refusing to believe Jaymi’s words. ”JJ found out and… you’re not the first he‘s done this to.”

George stood up, still shaking his head, fingers pressing at his temples.

It wasn’t true. George refused to believe it. Josh would never do that to him, no. Jaymi was being an asshole and telling him lies because the Josh that he knew would never do that to him.

“No,” he mumbled.

Not after last night.  _Not after that_.

“All he ever wanted was to fu-”

“Stop lying!” George shouted, interrupting Jaymi.“Stop fucking lying to me!”

Jaymi’s heart was breaking inside; he felt like a monster doing this to George , but he knew he had to do it. For the kid’s, Josh’s and JJ’s sake, he had to do this.

He stood up, an apologetic expression on his face. “I’m sorry we let him get this close to you.”

“No,” George said, taking a few steps back from him. “Stop it, Jaymi, I don’t believe you, he wouldn’t-”

That was what he wanted to believe in. But he knew Jaymi well enough; he knew Jaymi would never lie to him like this.

Just the thought of Josh leaving was crushing him.

“Give me your phone,” George demanded, and with a sigh Jaymi handed it to him, knowing George would want to talk to Josh. But he also knew Josh had probably already ditched his phone.

“George…” Jaymi called, but the boy ignored him.

As he pressed Jaymi’s phone to his ear, George’s mind was a mess. He couldn’t think straight because suddenly all the bad thoughts and insecurities were coming back to him.

He felt like this was someone else’s story; it hadn’t quite settled in because it was impossible  _his Josh_  would’ve done this to him.

George was numb; he wasn’t really feeling anything. It was like there was this veil around him, keeping him from feeling things because,  _this was not real_.

Josh was going to pick up the phone, they would both laugh at it, and he would kick Jaymi’s ass for such a stupid prank.

But it didn’t even ring. The automatic voice on the other side of the line felt like a stab, and suddenly everything Jaymi said was feeling incredibly real.

George remembered Ella’s words once again, every single one of them stabbing the fragile little veil around him, making him  _feel everything_ , all at once.

_“He’s just having his fun with you; that’s who Josh is.”_

He felt hollow as he realized he had never really known Josh.

_“He’ll tire of you eventually, you know? …one day you’ll wake up and he’s long gone, taking everything with him. No more Josh in your life…”_

She was right all along.  _He was_  just having his fun and everything he told George was a lie.

His heart stopped for a moment, he was sure of it. And when it dared to beat again, there was this physical pain striking him in his chest, digging into his heart, threatening to pull it out or rip it in half, whichever were to happen first. Slowly, he gave Jaymi his phone back. He felt defeated, crushed, cheated, hopeless… He felt like he had just been stolen and there was nothing left of him inside his body.

Jaymi stepped closer to him, wrapping his arms around him in an embrace as he mumbled, “I’m so sorry, Georgie” over and over in his ear.

George had never been in love. He had never known what feeling loved was like or how everything they did with you or for you made you feel so genuinely happy and special, how suddenly just the presence of that other person made everything feel so much better and how safe you could feel around someone. He never had anyone who cared about him, who appreciated him and loved him in a non fraternal way.

He had JJ, he knew that, and he had Jaymi, but right now his hug wasn’t fixing anything at all – a part of him was hoping Josh would burst through that door, explain to him it was all just a misunderstanding and say  _I love you_  again.

But then George realized he never even said it before in the first place.

That was just him. It was always just him…

Loving, hurting…

He closed his eyes and the first tear rolled down. George had never been in love. How he wished it had stayed that way.

Because, he decided, being in love was the cruelest, most hopeless feeling in the world.

 

Jaymi took him back to school, and George didn’t even remember that trip. He doesn’t remember arriving to school, doesn’t recall if he said goodbye to Jaymi or not, or if anyone even addressed him in the corridors as he made his way to his dorm.

All he remembers is how suddenly he found himself in the dark, on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He wasn’t even crying anymore. That was probably the saddest part; how used to being discarded he’d become. With a broken sigh, George rolled to his side , gripping the pillow, closing his eyes and pretending he was alright.

 

~ 

 

On Monday morning JJ left Jaymi’s flat early without waking him up and bought coffee somewhere in town on his way to meet a  _friend_  of his.

It was still early, and a week day, so there was a lot of people walking their dog, or jogging down the streets near the park.

Waiting for him on one of the benches was a girl around his age with a huge purse on her lap, sunglasses covering her eyes and a smile on her face as soon as she saw him. When JJ sat down, she leaned in closer to him, taking her sunglasses off.

“Hi, baby,” she said, bringing her hand up to his neck and leaning in for a kiss.

“Don’t bother, Jade,” JJ said in a cold tone, “the cop isn’t here.”

Immediately, Jade sighed, falling back against the bench. “Thank fuck,” she said. “I can’t deal with this couple shit cover up or whatever.”

“Well, it’s not like I can just go over to your house to pick the damn drugs myself with a fucking detective following me around all the time, is it? Unless you want him to find out about your  _gardening business_  and take you in with me as well,” he spat sarcastically, frustration finally getting to him.

Jade’s house was outside town, on a farm, and it was the perfect place to have the plantations she needed for the business. It was also there that she and her brother had a lab in which they turned the plants to drug.

Jade rolled her eyes. “Just calm down, will you?” she said, looking around. “Let’s make this fast and be on our way, okay?”

JJ sighed and stood up, walking her back to his car. “Why the fuck are you so pissed? And why are we meeting so early in the morning?” Jade asked, closing the passenger door.

“Jade, stick to your gardening and chemistry shit and stay out of my business,” JJ replied.

“Fucking hell, Hamblett! What’s wrong with you today?” she demanded, getting annoyed with his attitude.

JJ started the car, driving around as Jade took the couple of packages from her purse to the glove compartment.

“Nothing for you to worry about, Jade,” he said, not even paying attention to her.

With a last sigh, Jade gave up trying to get anything at all from him.

 

~

 

Jaymi was taking the cups and glasses out of the washing machine to start drying them and putting them away when JJ walked in the pub, saying hello to the usual customers that were playing cards in a corner.

Every day the retired people who had nothing to do at home, and lately some teenagers that were already on spring break as well, came here to meet their friends, play some games and pass the time. Jaymi usually just went there in the afternoons, but in the mornings and until the closing hour – near midnight – the pub was under his other employee’s care. After that, Jaymi had his club to focus on.

“Hey,” Jaymi greeted as he started cleaning the cups, “you left early today. Where have you been?” he asked.

“Working…” he replied in a monotonous tone. JJ was in a strange mood ever since yesterday. Jaymi couldn’t blame him; he knew how powerless and useless JJ was feeling about the whole thing.

It wasn’t his fault that the police was on his tracks, every move of him  _supervised_ ; he couldn’t even risk being seen in public with his customers, let alone get himself in a fucking situation like Josh’s, that would probably end up with someone being killed. Jaymi knew JJ would gladly help Josh, stand by his side if Josh asked him to, but there was also George in this equation and he would never do anything to jeopardize George’s safety.

If Josh had stayed, George wouldn’t have run away from it, not matter how scared he was – not this time. He’d stay by Josh’s side and there’d be nothing JJ could do to take him away without having the police connecting him to the kid. And if they realized George was Micky’s roommate and friend, it would only raise suspicions, no matter how innocent in the whole thing JJ was.

Josh couldn’t protect both of them from someone with such resources as Robert Belrose. It was all a mess.

Jaymi put the cup he was drying down, to put his hand on top of JJ’s.

“JJ,” he started, but JJ just took his hand from underneath his without looking at him.

“You know what, I have some stuff to do,” he said instead, getting up. “I’ll see you tonight.”

And he left the pub without another glance in Jaymi’s way at the same time Greg was entering , holding huge carton boxes with coffee packages inside. Jaymi was left frowning, his hand still outstretched on the counter where JJ’s had been.

Greg looked back from Jaymi to the door where JJ had just left.

“Is JJ alright?” he asked, genuine curiosity and worry coloring his voice as he put the boxes down on the counter and proceeded to go around to stack them.

“Yeah… he’s just in a mood, I guess,” Jaymi said  

He knew JJ was feeling awful about everything going on, but damn it, Jaymi couldn’t help but feel hurt by his cold actions. 

Jaymi looked back at Greg and then around the pub to see everyone lost in their own activities. Maybe he should tell Greg what was going on.

 

~

 

“George, please focus, I want to get out of here,” the blond boy behind him said as their teacher commanded the band to start the song all over.

It was the final rehearse for tomorrow’s concert, and everyone was feeling nervous as it was; with George messing up their harmonies every time it just made everyone that much insecure.

Their teacher, Mr. Shawn, was already fuming, even though he was trying as hard as he could to keep himself calm.

This concert was going to be a big thing; it was the school’s  _a hundred and something_ anniversary and there was going to be a great party, first in the auditorium, dinner in the – fancy decorated - cafeteria and it continued in the gym.

George had been looking forward to it since the beginning of the school year but now…

He felt so numb to everything. He could see the nervousness and excitement in his mates’ eyes, hear their whispering in between breaks about their plans for tomorrow, because the event was going to be open to the public, and for the first time this year, they were allowed to bring  _girls_ ; but George felt nothing.

All he wanted was for this to be over.

The whole day was a blur to him. Classes, breaks, lunchtime, rehearsal, everything felt like an endless blur – all he wanted was to go back to his dorm, and sleep for a week because he was so, so tired.

Everyone asked about it too.  _George are you okay? You seem a bit down,_  and he‘d answered this question so many times he memorized the speech. It rolled out his tongue automatically,  _yes I’m just tired, I haven’t had much sleep_.

They’d assume it was because of the damned concert and go away. But it wasn’t.

It was because he spent the whole night crying in the darkness of his room.


	20. Chapter 19

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Tonight was just a normal night in the club. Jaymi was on the VIP platform, watching attentively everything that was going on around him. 

He could see Dan and Greg down at the bar, walking around each other as they served the customers, talking and laughing and even dancing at times as they tried to chat up the girls.

Jaymi could see everything except what he was looking for.

JJ said he’d be here, but Jaymi hadn’t seen him yet and it was worrying him slightly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw James walking in through the dance floor and immediately signaled him to come over. They greeted each other and sat back on the sofa, drinks in hand.

“Any news on Josh?” James asked. Jaymi shook his head as he sighed.

“No, nothing, we have no idea where he is,” he said, and James nodded.

“Good, that’s for the best, believe me.”

Jaymi wasn’t doubting that. But he couldn’t help but feel affected by the whole situation.

It was kind of impossible – he was getting used to Josh and the new dynamic he created. He also liked how Josh suddenly changed George into a much more vivid version of himself. Before he came around, George was always so careful with what he did, so shy, so reserved and quiet.

He still remembered George’s huge smile as he made his way through the door when Josh picked him up from school, and how incredibly happy he was just a few days ago – was it really just a few days ago? It felt like a lifetime ago to him.

Just like the morning JJ had crawled into his bed and called him his  _boyfriend_.

Now he was missing, avoiding Jaymi at all costs and so distant and cold that he didn’t even seem like the same person anymore.

All this in a matter of days; all of this because of that French bastard…

“How’s the kid - George, right?” James asked. Jaymi shrugged helplessly.

“He’s… he’s a fucking mess. I didn’t tell him the truth, he thinks Josh abandoned him,” Jaymi admitted. James knew exactly what Jaymi was talking about; he’d been there for Ella enough times after Josh fucked her heart up to know just how bad the kid must be hurting.

“It’s for the best. Him not knowing is probably the best protection you can give him,” James said.

Jaymi frowned. “I just broke George’s heart when I was supposed to be protecting him from heartbreak too.”

“You broke his heart and he’ll stay alive to heal. If you hadn’t-”

“Wait,” Jaymi interrupted, looking at him, “you think Belrose would go that far?”

James nodded. ”Yes. He’ll do anything at all to get back at Josh. George was a liability to him. Josh can deal with Belrose just fine, but alone. With feelings to distract him from it…” he said, leaving the sentence unfinished.

It made sense, if everything Jaymi had heard about Josh was true.

“Everything’s fine for now, though,” James said, patting Jaymi’s shoulder. “Maybe Josh will be able to come back after all this is over.”

“Yeah,” Jaymi said, his lips curving at the corners, “maybe.”

James smiled back, standing up to leave. “As long as Belrose doesn’t know about your kid George,” he said, and left.  

As Jaymi followed James with his eyes, he saw JJ in the crowd.

Immediately he stood up, leaving his glass on the table, and went down the stairs to meet him. JJ wasn’t looking in Jaymi’s direction, and when Jaymi reached him and touched his shoulder, he turned around with a frown.

“Hey,” Jaymi greeted, waiting for that frown to go away. JJ’s jaw tensed visibly and he looked around, anywhere but at Jaymi, looking distressed.

“Is everything okay?” Jaymi asked, pulling him closer to make himself heard over the music. JJ pulled his arm free[](http://whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/post/46018315573/snuff#). “I gotta leave,“ he said without looking at Jaymi.

It was really starting to piss him off. Gritting his teeth, Jaymi grabbed his arm again, keeping him from leaving. “Will you just talk to me?” Jaymi said.

Again, JJ yanked his arm free. “Fuck off,” he said, looking at him for the first time, pupils blown, pale, with sweat breaking out on his forehead. His hands were shaking too.

Caught completely off guard, Jaymi’s grip loosened and JJ took the opportunity to get out of his reach, disappearing into the crowd.

Jaymi knew he shouldn’t leave JJ alone when he was in that state, specially with a police detective constantly after him, but he couldn’t leave the club.

There was nothing he could do.

 

~ 

 

It was already five in the morning when Jaymi heard his front door opening. He heard steps coming up the stairs and he got out of bed, walking towards his bedroom door.

In the dark, he couldn’t see much, but outside his room, in the corridor, the moonlight streaming through the window was enough to let him identify JJ’s figure, walking towards him.

Jaymi opened his mouth to say something, but he never got the chance.

JJ’s lips crushed his in a hard kiss, as his hands pushed at his shoulders, backing Jaymi against the wall next to his bedroom door. His tongue just made its way inside Jaymi’s mouth with no kind of warning.

Angry, Jaymi pushed him away, because  _fuck him_ if he thought he would just come here and demand anything at all from Jaymi without a single explanation.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Jaymi said, his hands curling into fists.

For a moment everything was silent and unmoving, just their breathing in the dark. Then suddenly, JJ’s hand was around Jaymi’s neck, thumb tilting his head back as he kissed him again, ignoring any kind of protests from the other boy.

JJ’s whole body pressed against Jaymi’s, keeping him from escaping.

As much as Jaymi tried to push him away, JJ wasn’t moving an inch, and so, with his lips pursed close, Jaymi tried punching JJ’s chest.  

"Stop!" Jaymi demanded, moving his head to escape JJ’s lips. In a swift move, JJ grabbed Jaymi’s wrists and turned him around, pushing him up against the wall, his body glued to his in a second.

JJ leaned in to speak on his ear. “You stop,” he whispered.

Something about his tone of voice, combined with his actions, left Jaymi alarmed and he went completely still. JJ would never hurt him… would he?

"JJ…" he said, in a warning tone, as if trying to talk some sense into him. Burying his nose in Jaymi’s neck, JJ stepped even closer, moving slowing against Jaymi’s back.

"I know you want this too, babe…" His free hand went down Jaymi’s sides to rest at the waistline of his pajama pants, his fingers slipping in slowly.

"No, JJ- Stop!" Jaymi said, but his voice broke at the end of the word. He was writhing under the weight of JJ’s body. “Let go of me,” Jaymi said through gritted teeth as JJ’s grip on his wrists tightened.  

JJ buried his face in Jaymi’s neck, sinking his teeth in, making Jaymi gasp. The sound just made JJ’s hips shoot forward against Jaymi as his hand sank further down in Jaymi’s pants.

Jaymi’s breathing was ragged as he tried as hard as he could to yank his hands out of JJ’s grasp.

“Why are you fighting me, Jaymi?” JJ mumbled as he nibbled at his ear. There was this sweetness in his breath  that confirmed Jaymi’s suspicions – he had been drinking.

Angry, he spat, “I’m not your fuck doll.”  He felt JJ’s grip loosening and took the opportunity to yank his wrists free, taking JJ’s hands off of him. He spun around to face him and shoved him away. Then he strode toward him, gripping his collars.

“You fucking twat,” Jaymi said, noticing how his eyes were glassy, his pupils blown and his hands twitching now and then. “Is that how you’re going to get over your fucking problems?!” he yelled.

With his breathing ragged, JJ brought his hands to his temples. “Shut up.”

“No! You don’t get to run away from me and then treat me like I’m your fucking sex slave,” Jaymi said, a hot wave of anger taking over his body.

“Just fucking talk to me!” Jaymi pleaded.

Silence. The only audible thing was their fast breathing.

Jaymi could see a ton of different feelings crossing JJ’s eyes as helplessness took over his face. Jaymi’s eyebrows knitted together in his forehead, and he brought his hands from JJ’s collar to his neck.

He knew that JJ felt horrible about lying to George like that; about breaking his heart after all the kid had gone through. He felt responsible.

“Talk to me,” Jaymi mumbled.

JJ swallowed hard. “I need you,” he whispered. 

Jaymi crushed his lips against JJ’s, and he lifted him up by his hips as Jaymi wrapped his legs around JJ’s waist. Walking forward, he pushed Jaymi up against the wall, his hands fumbling with the strings on Jaymi’s pajama pants.

“I’ll take care of you,” Jaymi whispered as his hands covered JJ’s, and he put his feet back on the ground. He turned JJ around and pushed him against the wall. JJ’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Jaymi’s hands fumbling with his belt, and Jaymi looked him straight in the eye as he dropped to his knees.

 

~

 

Tuesday started off as a nice day; it was sunny and not that chilly anymore. The curtains were opened, letting the sun illuminate the small room, and there was a knock on the door, waking him up.

“Room service,” a woman called.

Josh ignored it.

Sitting up on the bed, he sighed and brought his hands to his face, rubbing the sleep off his eyes.

He was tired of Manchester already; he wanted to leave.

Stepping in the shower, he let all his thoughts run loose – suppressing them for this long was starting to make his head ache.

Automatically, he thought of George and everything that happened with him in the last few days - to be honest, it all felt like months ago, not days.

Every time he thought about it, Josh wanted to punch himself for how stupid he’d been. He knew he should never have put George in this situation. It was all his fault for having these fucking feelings that clouded his mind to the point where he didn’t even think about the consequences of his actions.

There was a reason why JJ put him in a private boarding school, why he kept George as oblivious about this whole world as he possibly could.

Why did he act on his feelings?  _Why?_

As guilty as he felt, Josh couldn’t find it in him to regret any moment spent next to George.

All he wanted now was for Belrose to come straight to him, because he wanted to end all this. No more running from him.

Even if Belrose wasted his time back in that town, he’d soon realize Josh wasn’t there, and there was nothing he could do but move on, looking for him all over England, not even noticing George’s existence. There was absolutely no way he and his men would kno-

_“My name’s Zac Burke, and no, I don’t work for Walker. I work with Walker.”_

_“You think all this is about you calling your deal off? You actually think this is Walker’s doing? C’mon, Josh, you’re a sharp bloke.”_

_“He’s looking for you, you know? It’s only a matter of time before he finds you and your… boyfriend.”_

A sudden fear washed over him, and not even the hot water could warm the sudden ice cold sensation taking over his body.

Burke worked for Belrose. And he knew all about George.

Stepping out of the shower, he dressed as fast as he could, throwing his stuff back into his bag and grabbing his helmet.

Josh was going back. He just hoped to God it wasn’t too late. 

 

~ 

 

Ella couldn’t find James anywhere. She wasn’t exactly worried, because James had left her a note and said everything was alright, but she didn’t like to be alone in this town she didn’t quite know.

She was returning home, after having breakfast in the nearest place she could find, when she heard someone call her name.

Turning around, she found a guy in his twenties, wearing a light blue blazer and smiling at her. “Miss Belrose, what are you doing in the middle of the street all by your pretty self?” he said in a mocking tone.

She had never seen him before, but she was almost certain he worked for her father.

“Who are you?” Ella asked.

He looked at her as if she’d just wounded his feelings. “Seriously, honey? I’m Zac,” he said, taking a step in her direction, and Ella stepped back, keeping the distance.

“Don’t tell me your father never mentioned me,” he said in an incredulous tone. Ella didn’t like the way he talked – like everything was a big joke and he was mocking everyone, having the time of his life. Her first reaction to his words was to run away, as fast as she could.

Behind her, Burke sighed. “Oh, I hate running,” he said, and took off, chasing her.

Ella knew she was somewhere close to Jaymi’s club, but in the daylight everything seemed different. She turned around to see if he was too close when she ran into someone, losing her balance and falling directly into that person’s arms.

“Are you okay?” she heard a male voice ask.

“Please help me, you have to take me out of here!” she said, barely even looking at the guy, worried about the other man chasing her.

“Ella, honey,” Burke sing songed, and she heard a gunshot somewhere. He was trying to scare her and it was working. “You can’t run forever, sweetie. I know someone who really wants to see you.”

Ella gripped the boy’s arm, suddenly much more scared, shaking her hair out of her eyes to meet a pair of blue ones looking back at her. He didn’t say anything.

Instead he grabbed her hand and pulled her into a deserted alley, not stopping until he found a door, opening it with the set of keys he had in his hand and making her enter in front of him, before he closed and locked the door.

Even without all the people, the lights and music, Ella recognized Jaymi’s club, and she turned around, facing the guy again.

“ _Merci_ ,  _je_ -” She was going to say something, but then she looked at him properly for the first time and forgot what. That was also when she realized she was about to say a lot of dumb things in French.

“There’s no need to thank me,” he said, smiling at her, and Ella felt herself blush. “I’m Greg,” he said.

“Ella,” she said, outstretching her hand to him. Biting his smile back, Greg took her hand and shook it slowly, never breaking eye contact. Ella, on the other hand, was finding it extremely hard to keep looking straight into his eyes, and she could feel her cheeks burning up.

“Maybe I should go, now that he lost me…?” Ella said. She was about to remove her hand from his when she felt Greg holding on to it.

“I think you should wait a little bit longer, I can walk you home, after…” he said, a faint red coloring his cheeks. He let go of her hand as if realizing he was probably crossing a line there.

“Okay, thank you,” she said, unable to fight the smile. He brought a hand up, scratching the back of his neck, looking down at his feet.

“It’s no problem, really,” he said.

The way he then stole a glance up at her made something in her stomach flutter, and Ella couldn’t quite take the shy smile off her face.

 

~ 

 

Jaymi woke up alone again. Sighing, he looked around, searching for any signs of JJ but there was none. His clothes were gone, and so was his wallet, phone and keys. Jaymi found himself lying back on the bed, facing the ceiling, thinking where in hell had JJ gone to.

His phone rang on the bedside table, and part of him was hoping it’d be JJ, but instead, the screen lit up with Dan’s name flashing.

“Hello,” he answered.

 _“Jaymi!”_  Dan said in a frantic tone that made Jaymi frown. “ _Oh, thank fuck, I need your help.”_

Jaymi stood up. “What happened, are you okay?” he asked.

 _“Yeah, I’m fine_ ,” he said, his voice distressed. Jaymi was already having a bad feeling about all this.

“Dan-” he started, but Dan’s voice interrupted him on the other side.

 _“It’s JJ,”_  he said.  _“Jaymi, he’s been arrested.”_


	21. Chapter 20

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

All George’s classes had been cancelled. He didn’t want to face the people outside, so he stayed in for as long as he could – one of the perks of being completely alone in a dorm. He stared at Micky’s bed for a long while, just wondering where in the world he was right now – if he was okay, and happy…

He could hear people walking and jumping and running in the hallways, shouting at each other and laughing, sounding so excited and happy it was starting to frustrate George.

He missed lunch and only got out of bed when he heard a knock on the door. George walked over, not even bothering to check if he looked presentable, and opened the door to find Will, one of his classmates that was also in the choir.

Shaking the hair out of his eyes, Will mumbled something about George being late for the final rehearsal before the parents and families and everyone arrived.

Sighing heavily, he closed his eyes.  _Damn it,_ George thought.

Will was already dressed properly, the whole uniform looking impeccable, and George was still in his pajamas. He told Will to go ahead, not to wait for George because George wouldn’t take long to get ready.

As soon as he closed the door, George picked up the dark grey trousers from his desk chair and put them on half-heartedly.  He shrugged on the white button up shirt and grabbed his dark blue and red striped tie, moving towards the mirror to fix it.

His hair was a mess, George noticed, and there were dark marks underneath his eyes.

But George didn’t care. He put his shoes and belt on and then moved towards his closet to grab the dark red blazer that the school choir only wore to these kind of ceremonies and competitions and put it on.

As he walked down the hallways it was almost funny how he stood out from his colleagues; all of them were wearing the school’s regular dark blue blazer whilst George was the only one using the red.

George entered the choir room and was surprised by the general confusion that was installed. His teacher was practically shaking as he tried as hard as he could to remain calm and not start shouting with at the nervous and overly excited teenagers. The band was struggling with a couple of broken strings, and there was even some of them struggling with the rosin on their violin’s bow at this point.

Mr. Shawn was saying something about how irresponsible of them it were to leave it all for the last minute when Miss Holly, the receptionist, knocked on the door, saying they were up in less than five minutes.

Everyone started freaking out, and George just wanted to go back to bed and sleep until next week.

 

~ 

 

“Dan!” Jaymi called as soon as he approached Dan just outside the police station. Dan, who had his phone in his hands and was pacing back and forth, looked up and sighed in relief.

“Thank God you’re here,” Dan said, putting his phone away.

“What happened? Why was he arrested?” Jaymi asked, hoping his guess was wrong.

Dan seemed a bit reluctant, but eventually he finally started talking. “We were just taking care of some old debts, you know,  _talking_ to some people, the usual deal,” he said.

Jaymi nodded. It wasn’t the first time JJ had to threaten some of his clients in order to get paid. “Things were getting ugly and that fucking detective just came out of nowhere and JJ punched him,” Dan said. “He got arrested for assaulting a police officer or some shit like that.”

It was Jaymi’s turn to sigh in relief, closing his eyes for a moment. “Fucking hell, you scared me shitless, Dan, what the hell!”

This could’ve gone so much worse.

“I’m sorry man, I guess it was the adrenaline or something, I’m sorry. And I felt guilty because I ran off,” he admitted, biting his lip.

Jaymi patted his shoulder. “It’s alright mate,” he said, noticing how Dan was still a bit restless, grabbing his phone again. “What?” Jaymi asked.

“I don’t know, Greg is asking for my help,” he said, looking at his phone.

“Well go on, then,” Jaymi said, “and let me know if anything’s wrong, okay?”

Dan nodded. “Yeah, sure thing.” He took off, leaving Jaymi alone, about to enter the police station to bail JJ out.

 

~ 

 

Pulling his phone out of his pocked, Zac’s fingers browsed his contacts until he found Mason Walker’s name, and he pressed the call button as he carefully looked around the corner where he was hiding.

“ _Hello?_ ” Walker’s voice sounded on the other side of the line.

“Hello, mate, how are you?” Zac said in a overly friendly tone. He could hear Walker’s already frustrated sigh on the other side of the line, and the smile on his face widened.

“ _What is it, Burke?”_  Walker asked, impatience coloring his voice.

“Always so friendly, Mason,” Zac said sarcastically.

 _“Fucking hell, Burke, what the fuck do you want_?” Walker snapped, and Zac had to laugh at that.

Looking around the corner again, he saw a guy approaching the club’s backdoor with a set of keys.

“Your little plan failed, Walker,” Zac said as he saw the guy entering the club and closing the door again.

 _“What are you talking about?”_ Walker asked.

“I’m talking about your brilliant idea of sending our friend JJ to jail,” Zac said in a more serious tone. “I happened to come across out dearest Gabriella, and she managed to evade me, with some help, of course. Well, that Dan guy who was with Hamblett just showed up to keep the fucking party moving so I think it’s safe to say that if he’s not arrested right now, Hamblett is as free as a bird too. My guess is Hensley bailed him out already.”  

There was silence on the other side, and then a heavy sigh as Walker took all the information in. “ _Fucking hell,_ ” he mumbled.

“Yeah, I suggest you fix it,” Zac said rather sarcastically as he checked his watch. “It’s nearly 4 pm, and there’s this party I need to be at. And I’m running late already,” he mumbled.

“ _I’ll fix it_ ,” he said. “ _What about Ella?”_  Walker added.

“Well,” Zac started as he took one last look at the black back door “They’ve been in there for ages so I’m guessing they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon and besides, there’s more important matters in hand right now,” he said, smiling.

“ _Don’t fuck up. Do exactly as he said or Belrose will fucking blow your brains,”_  Walker said. Zac chuckled.

“Oh, Mason, love,” he started in mockingly sweet tone of voice, “are you worried about my safety?”

Oh the other side, Walker scoffed. “ _Fuck off, Burke_ ,” he said in a disgusted tone before he hung up.

Still smirking, Zac put his phone back in his pocket as he walked back to his car.

 

~ 

 

Making his way behind the police officer, Jaymi was holding JJ’s stuff as he walked down the corridor to stop in front of a specific cell.

JJ’s arms were on the horizontal bar, hanging loosely, supporting his body as he leant forward, forehead pressed against the cold bars and eyes closed. He looked extremely relaxed, like he was in a beach and not in bloody prison.

The police officer inserted the keys on the cell door to open it, and that was when JJ opened his eyes, raising his eyebrow and leaving the cell, accepting his jacket, wallet, keys and phone from Jaymi without saying a single word.

Outside though, as they were walking home Jaymi finally asked, “What happened?”

JJ sighed. “I just flipped, I guess. It wasn’t really on purpose but the guy was grabbing me and I threw the punch before I even realized who he was.”

“It could’ve gone so much worse,” Jaymi mumbled. “Imagine if you hadn’t forgotten your gun.” JJ nodded.

His gun was still back at Jaymi’s – if he’d been armed when the detective caught him, he’d be in some serious shit right now.

 “Yeah, well I was in a hurry,” JJ said.

“Why, though?” Jaymi said out of nowhere.

“Why what?” JJ asked, not quite looking at him.

“Why do you always disappear every damn morning after you sleep with me?” Jaymi asked, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. JJ stopped a few steps ahead. Jaymi was staring at him with his brow furrowed, and there was this hurt look on his face that was getting to JJ.

“Jaymi, I-” He wasn’t really sure what to say.

“Do you regret it?” Jaymi suddenly asked.

“What?”

“You fucking heard me. Jaymi raised his voice a little, calling the attention of the strangers passing by towards them. JJ took his arm, looking around. “This is not the place to talk about th-”

“Is that what this is all about? You fuck me, you regret it and wish we’d kept the banter instead? Is that it, JJ? Or are you fucking ashamed of me and what we do, all of a sudden?” Jaymi continued, ignoring JJ but talking in a lower tone of voice, all the restrained emotions exploding at once. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” JJ said, looking up with his hands on his face, frustration taking over him as he took a step back from Jaymi, pacing back and forth. “I don’t even know if you’re actually blind or just fucking stupid!” JJ said, ignoring the fact that he was now calling much more attention than Jaymi was.

JJ was still talking but Jaymi was no longer concentrated on him anymore. He heard the sound of tires squealing as a car turned the corner of the street far faster than it should have, advancing fast down the street. It was a matter of seconds between Jaymi seeing the car and noticing the gun barrel poking out of one of the smoked windows aiming at JJ.

His mind went blank.

But his body moved on instinct and Jaymi heard himself shouting  _JJ, look out!_  before he launched himself at him.

JJ never saw it coming. He was about to turn when he felt Jaymi’s body collapsing on his, followed by the sound of a gunshot. JJ was already falling after tripping over his own feet.

He closed his eyes as he landed on his back, feeling the air being knocked out of him and Jaymi’s body rolling on the floor, away from him.

He heard people screaming and a lot of lost shouted words and got up, trying to see the car’s plate or something – anything. JJ heard the tires squealing again as it turned around and out of view before he could even see anything at all.

 _Someone call an ambulance!_ a woman shouted.

There were people crossing the street to their side, looking horrified, and others looked away, or pulled their phones to do as that woman said.

But why? He was fin-

And suddenly every single word and sound around JJ just turned into white noise as he felt his heart drop violently to his feet. He turned around.

There, on the ground, was Jaymi with his eyes closed and a growing red stain tainting his white shirt. 

 

~

 

As soon as the concert was over, George almost flew outside. He couldn’t deal with people anymore and that place was overcrowded with proud mothers and fathers and siblings, grandparents and even girlfriends.

He couldn’t find it in him to stay in there any longer than necessary – it was suffocating.

So he ran through the corridors to the main entrance that students weren’t even allowed to use in normal days. Pushing the heavy door open, George climbed down the stairs, turning to the left to cross the overcrowded parking lot in order to reach the gardens, and just walk and breath properly again.

Everyone was still inside watching some kind of play – George was supposed to be there too, but he really didn’t care.

The parking lot was almost like a maze, full of cars parking in every single available place, leaving minimal space for the others cars to circulate, and George had to walk around carefully because of the poor angles, to not be run over. 

George brought his hand up to his tie and was about to loosen it when he heard a voice.

“Don’t take it off, love, it suits you so well.”

George stopped, confused, and slowly turned around.

There, in a light blue blazer, was a guy with piercing grey eyes that George had met only once before.

“Remember me, babe? I guess I never really introduced myself properly. I’m Zac,” he said with a smirk, taking a step closer to George, who instinctively took one back to keep the distance.

He was eyeing George up and down with that smirk firm on his face. “You know, I was going to be professional about this, but damn it, don’t you look absolutely delicious,” he said in a tone of voice that told George that he was talking more to himself than George.

George felt scared, and every fiber of his being was telling him to run. “I can totally see what Cuthbert saw in you. I think it’s the whole preppy boy thing – it’s messing with my head too, to be honest,” he said, smiling at George in a way that made him beyond uncomfortable.

 He started running away from him, and Zac rolled his eyes, sighing in annoyance.

“Why,” he mumbled, throwing his arms up annoyed, “why do they always run?”

Zac started going after him, walking normally as if it was nothing.

George had no idea where he should run to. The only thing ahead of him were cars and an immense green field with several trees and flowers and bushes that led to a fence through which he had escaped loads of times before.

He took one look back – a single, quick glance back to see if he was too close – and it was his mistake.

George heard the tires squealing before he actually saw the car; he only had time to close his eyes before he felt a blow in his legs and his feet being swept off the ground as his shoulder connected with the metal of the car and he was sent flying, hitting the ground hard and rolling a few feet.

The car stopped, and the two men that came out of it didn’t seem the tiniest bit worried about the boy lying on the floor.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Zac said, looking at both of them with a extremely annoyed expression on his face. “What did I tell you about not ruining the merchandize?”

“Sorry?” One of them mumbled apologetically, shrugging.

Zac approached George, grabbing his shoulder to turn him around. The younger boy cried out in pain, grabbing his injured shoulder.

“You alright, darling?” He said with a fake tone of worry coloring his voice. “Good, you didn’t scratch your face.”

Zac smiled, looking at him in a weird way, like he was about to start laughing at George but at the same time reflecting about something. “God, you’re so pretty, I could just eat you up,” he said, still smiling.

George couldn’t even talk – he felt his ribs constricting his lungs so painfully he was afraid it’d pierce them if he did talk or even breathe properly.  Zac pulled him up, and George couldn’t stop from crying out as soon as his entire body weight fell over his wounded legs.

Zac laughed out loud at the sound, constricting George’s arms behind his back, and George was about to start shouting for help when his hand covered his mouth and he poked his back with what felt like a gun barrel, silencing him immediately. George felt Zac’s breath on his neck.  

“Oh, this is going to be  _so much fun_.”


	22. Chapter 21

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was hard to breathe. As he knelt down on the hard stones of the sidewalk, his hands automatically reached out and he didn’t dare to breathe.

People were talking to him, talking to each other, but he wasn’t listening.

“Jaymi!” he called. His own voice sounded strange to him, muffled.

JJ’s hand came up to Jaymi’s face, shaking violently, turning his face towards him. There was blood on his hands, he noticed.

JJ looked down at Jaymi’s abdomen but didn’t dare pull his shirt up, bringing his hand down his body to press down on the wound instead. “Jaymi!” he called again, his voice breaking.

He could hear people trying to ask him something, things like  _who did this?_  and  _could you see the plate?_ and  _are you wounded too?_ … but his mind refused to make sense of any of those questions. His brain refused to process what was going on.

Until someone, although not talking to JJ directly, asked in a whisper, “Is he  _dead_?”

JJ felt a crushing weight coming down on his shoulders, crushing his insides, making him dizzy.

 _Check his pulse. Check his pulse!_ his mind was screaming at him.

JJ’s bloody hand came up to Jaymi’s neck, two of his fingers pressing down on the skin.

He felt nothing.

His heart stopped for a moment, contracting so painfully that an unexpected sob escaped his lips. He swallowed it down, refusing to give up.

He moved his shaky fingers slightly, holding his breath and pressing further down, afraid to miss any tiny beat. But still, he felt nothing.

“Don’t do this to me, Jaymi,” JJ said, moving his fingers on his skin again. He couldn’t see straight anymore – his vision was suddenly blurry with unshed tears and dread was taking over him, making it painful to breathe.

With his fingers still firmly pressed against his throat, JJ brought his head down, pressing his ear against Jaymi’s chest, closing his eyes. “Please, Jaymi, please,” he whispered desperately.

Beneath his shaky fingers, he felt a weak thump.

There was a hand on his shoulder, pulling JJ from Jaymi. “Son, the ambulance is here,” a man said. JJ let himself be pulled to his feet, his eyes never leaving Jaymi or the team of paramedics now around him.

JJ just stood there, waiting as they carried Jaymi to the ambulance, talking to each other.

“Is he going to be okay?” he asked suddenly to one of them.

“We need to get him to the hospital as fast as we can,” the woman said, stepping in the ambulance. “He needs surgery.” There was an implication in her tone of voice that left JJ on edge.

He walked right behind her towards the ambulance. There was no way he was leaving Jaymi’s side. The woman made space inside the vehicle, moving around Jaymi, as her colleague turned on a series of machines, attaching them to Jaymi, a stethoscope around his neck.

JJ sat right next to Jaymi, his eyes never leaving his face. He tried reaching out for his hand, but the blood on his own made him stop. That was also when JJ realized how badly he was shaking.

“Excuse me sir, are you related to the victim?” she asked a few moments after the ambulance started moving, eyeing him carefully.

JJ looked at her for a moment, hearing his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. “Yes, I’m his bo-” he stopped himself abruptly. She was waiting for his answer but not looking at him anymore, focusing on Jaymi instead.

“I’m his best friend,” JJ said.

Suddenly the beeping sound turned to a constant beep and JJ felt his heart drop to his feet.

“His heart stopped!” 

JJ’s breath got caught in his throat and he reached out, grabbing Jaymi’s arm, calling his name. The man pushed him down, asking him to stay out of the way, and JJ’s fists curled up, shaking. 

Both of them started moving around Jaymi, the man tearing his shirt apart and massaging over his heart as the woman grabbed the defibrillators.

It was all a blur to JJ. The only sound he could hear was the constant sound of the heart monitor, all voices sounding distant, like in a dream.

For the first time, the possibility of losing Jaymi felt as real as the wetness and strong colour of his blood tinting JJ’s hands. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what his life would be like without Jaymi.

JJ’s breathing quickened and he was sure his heart was about to jump out of his mouth.

Jaymi’s heart wasn’t beating anymore.

Panic started taking over him and he couldn’t breathe; his chest hurt like someone was digging a hole from the inside out and he wanted to scream, because he needed Jaymi’s heart to beat again.

He needed his Jaymi back again.

The machine beeped again, this time a rhythmic sound instead of the constant one filled the ambulance.

“He’s back,” the woman said.

JJ broke down in sobs, holding Jaymi’s hand hard, unable to contain himself anymore.

 

~ 

 

The school was full of people, all of them dressed in a fancy manner, walking in and out of the building with some of the students, talking and laughing, completely oblivious to Josh’s urgency in finding George.

He was running all around, asking people for George, but no one knew where he was.

Already impatient and – even if not showing it – becoming desperate, he grabbed some kid by his dark red blazer that was walking by and in a cold and restrained voice asked,  “Where the fuck is George Shelley, kid?”

The kid’s eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing several times. “Answer me!” Josh yelled.

“I don’t know!” he said. “My choir teacher sent me to find him too, but he just vanished!”

He was too late.

For a moment Josh didn’t know what to do, feeling powerless, angry and frustrated, but above all scared of what they might do to George.

Letting go of the kid, he closed his eyes, yelling “Fuck!” as he punched the nearest door, leaving a dent on it.

He turned around, leaving the school, grabbing his phone as he went, turning it back on.

It was him that Belrose wanted, not George. Josh knew what he had to do. There was no way he’d run from this.

And no one was going to stop him from doing what he wanted to do.

Not this time.

 

~ 

 

In the periphery there was an old train station. A few years ago, a new and better one was built in the center of the town and this old one was left abandoned, as well as the old trains and railway. Most buildings and houses in that zone in particular had the exact same fate.

Some of those buildings were abandoned mid construction, and were now a refuge for some rebel teenagers. One of them was an unfinished gym and dance studio.

The moment George started coming back to his senses, he felt a piercing pain in his lumbar region, spreading towards his whole torso. When he moaned in pain, the sound came out muffled, and that was when George realized he was gagged.

His arms were numb, stretched over his head and tied to some kind of bar.

George didn’t need to open his eyes to realize he was sitting on the floor, but even if he had opened them, he wouldn’t have seen anything but black. He could feel the blindfold tied around his head.

His feet weren’t tied, but even if he wanted to get up, the pain in his leg wouldn’t have let him stand.

George started rotating his wrists, but the rope was too tight and his movements did nothing but burn his skin. Feeling hopeless and as scared as he’d ever been in his life, he cried out.

Almost automatically, he could hear the distinct sound of shoes striding on the wooden floor and his breath caught in his throat, a whole new fear taking over him.

Cold hands touched his face and George retracted himself, trying to escape the touch, in vain.

The blindfold was removed and George found a pair of grey eyes looking at him, a smirk curling his lip. “Hello, love,” Zac said.

Looking around quickly, George saw lots of construction material forgotten all around the huge room. There were mirrors attached to the walls and a ballet bar, to which his arms were tied.   

Zac’s eyes travelled all over George’s body, the smile growing on his face, and instinctively George brought his legs closer against his chest, ignoring the pain it caused him. He couldn’t help the wince and the small groan that escaped his lips.

“You’re wounded,” he said, his eyebrows knighting together in a fake worried expression. Everything about this man was fake and sarcastic and George really didn’t like it. His heart was racing in his chest, his eyes never leaving Zac’s hands.

“Come here, sweetheart, let me see where it hurts,” he said, moving closer to George in his crouched position.

George’s protests came out muffled as he shook his head vigorously, trying to get away from his touch.

Zac was smiling as his hands started unbuttoning George’s white shirt. He came closer to George, whispering in his ear, “I’ll take care of you, Georgie. Soon enough the pain in your torso will be the last thing on your mind.”

George’s heart dropped violently. Dread took over his body and he started panicking at Zac’s words.

Zac pushed George’s shirt aside, revealing the already bruising skin underneath. His hands fell on George’s torso, caressing his skin, and George could feel his breath on his neck.

He turned his head away, shutting his eyes closed. “Oh, look at that,” Zac said, his fingers coming up to touch George’s neck, right on one of his love bites.

“I see Cuthbert wasted no time with you,” he added. “Can’t say I blame him, baby, you’re so, so pretty, you’re driving me mad here.”

In a sudden move, Zac grabbed both George’s legs, lifting them up and around his waist, as he brought his whole body against George’s. “See?”

His screamed came out muffled by the gag, but he couldn’t help it. Besides the pain all over his leg, he could feel the hard contours of Zac against himself and he felt disgusted and so scared his body was acting alone, writhing and screaming.

Zac laughed and removed the tape from his mouth. George cried out in pain.

“Get off of me! Stop! Let me go!” he yelled, desperate, hysterical tears streaming down his face.

“Calm down, sweetheart, I promise it’ll be good,” he said, laughing in his ear, kissing down his neck, hands roaming down his torso, towards his trousers.

George was sobbing, screaming at the top of his lungs, trying to get away from his touch. Zac grabbed his face and turned his head towards him. “Shut up for a bit, will you?” he said, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

George bit him hard and Zac drew back, hand flying to his abused lip, an outraged expression on his face that slowly turned to a smug smirk. “Feisty, uhn? I like it,” he said.

George screamed for help once again, shutting his eyes close, trying to kick him away. But it was no good; Zac’s hands fell down on his trousers again, undoing his belt.

He was about to slip his hand down George’s boxers when someone shouted “Burke!”

Zac stopped what he was doing, and, sighing, he rolled his eyes, letting go of George.

“Always nice to see you, Walker,” he said, facing the man at the door.

As soon as Zac got up and away from him, George curled himself in a ball, burying his face in his knees, ignoring the pain on the side of his torso, crying in loud sobs.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Walker said, sounding disgusted by the man in front of him.

“Oh, you know, just a little foreplay before the actual show,” Zac said, smiling as he looked back at George. “It’s such a shame to see him go, though. He’s just so pretty; too pretty for the kind of scumbags that are going to buy him, anyway.”

At those words, George looked up, feeling his insides turn ice cold. What did he mean?

Zac looked back at him, eyebrows knitting together and a pout on his lips. Mockingly concerned, he said, “Don’t worry, baby, all you have to do is be a good boy and tell us where your boyfriend is, and maybe our boss won’t be so hard on you.”

George’s heart started beating frantically in his chest. This was about Josh? Josh was long gone. Josh didn’t care.

“Where’s Cuthbert, kid?” Walker said, moving closer to both of them. When George looked up at him, he recognized him from that time back in the alley when he tried to attack Josh and himself; it felt like a lifetime ago.

“I don’t know,” George said, his voice breaking from all the screaming.

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me, really,” Zac said. “But we shouldn’t be worried, Cuthbert will come back for him.”

“You’re wrong,” George mumbled.

Zac turned around to face him, both his eyebrows raised and an amused expression on his face. “Am I?”

Swallowing down the lump in his throat and the pain those words caused him, George spoke again. “Josh doesn’t care about me.”

From across the room, Walker scoffed at that. “You’re so innocent, kid,” he said, shaking his head. George looked up at him, his brow furrowed.

“He knew Belrose was after him, somehow,” Zac said, smiling. “He ran off to try and protect you, Georgie.”

_What?_

“Except it was too late for that,“ Walker continued. “He’ll come back for you, believe me. And when he does he’ll finally get what he deserves.”

George’s mind was racing, confusion washing over him and Josh’s words coming back to him.

_You have no idea what this world is like._ _._ _This is the only way you can protect the people who matter to you; you keep them away._

 

~

 

The Emergency Room of the Hospital was full of people running around, pacing around, talking to someone, shouting at someone or trying to get information. There was people crying and some even praying, but all of them waiting to hear any kind of news on their relative’s well being.

JJ was sitting in one of the chairs, motionless, simply staring at his hands, red with Jaymi’s blood.

His heart was still recovering from the emotional rollercoaster, but it wasn’t over yet.

Jaymi was in surgery for more than an hour now, and JJ couldn’t deal with the waiting. He felt so anxious, so scared…

“Mr. Hamblett?” someone called. JJ’s head shot right up to face the nurse in from of him, and he stood up, waiting to listen to what she was going to say.

“Mr. Hensley’s surgery is over,” she said, and then she smiled softly at him. “He’s going to be okay.”

And right then, the weight of the whole world was lifted from JJ’s shoulders and he took a deep breath, air finally reaching his lungs again in what it felt like the first time since he saw Jaymi lying on that sidewalk.

He was going to be okay. 


	23. Chapter 22

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Belrose climbed up the dusty stairs of the old gym, his impeccable suit and shiny black shoes looking extremely out of place in such scenery.

As he reached the top of the stairs, several large windows occupying the corridor’s walls revealed  the different studios now filled with construction material for unfinished work.

One of his men, walking in front of him, directed them to a particular dance studio near the end of the corridor. He opened the door for him.

Belrose stepped inside to find Walker, Burke, and a boy bound to the ballet bar.

“ _Salut_ , gentlemen,” he greeted in his thick french accent, a graceful smile on his face, as out of place as his whole figure felt.

Walker turned around automatically, facing him, “Boss, we weren’t waiting your presence until Cuthbert-“

“Yes, yes, I know, Walker,” he said, dismissing his words as his gaze fell upon the young boy on the floor, curled in on himself as if he wanted to disappear into the wall. “But Josh is already coming,” he said, smiling.

George’s heart stopped inside his chest, his head shooting up to find the man’s eyes, a sudden panic contorting his face.

“Ah, that got your attention now, did it, George?” Belrose said calmly, talking to George as if they were old friends.

George didn’t dare open his mouth. He wasn’t sure he would be able to speak at all. His throat hurt from all the screaming and he was so scared and tired. The simple thought that Josh was coming for him, instead of relief, brought even more panic, fear, and anxiety.

That was what this man wanted – Josh.

He had no idea what Belrose would do to Josh, and that scared the life out of him. Josh should just stay gone and not come back for him.

That thought, Josh coming back for him, as frightening as it was, still made his heart flutter. Knowing it was all real, and Josh wasn’t the monster Jaymi said he was, made breathing a little bit easier and a wild ounce of hope surged to his chest.

But he also wanted to scream and punch him in his fucking face, because how dare he leave him alone like this? Abandoning him, yet again, like every other person that mattered in his life?

The only place where George was and felt safe was in his arms, didn’t he understand that?

Belrose’s voice brought him back from his thoughts, “Leave us,” he said to the other men in the room.

“Do you know why you’re here?” he said, as soon as they were alone.

George kept his mouth shut, refusing to even make eye contact with the man. Of course he knew. He was bait and Belrose’s revenge on Josh.

“Do you know what your dearest Josh did to put you in this situation?” Belrose asked, starting to pace around the room, still looking at him.

George’s expression hardened as he tried to hide all his emotions. Still, Belrose smiled, getting closer to George. “Of course you do, I’m sure he told you all about it,” Belrose said.

His eyes were examining George’s face, and George’s discomfort was visible in every trace of his expression.

“Do you have any idea what it feels like to be stolen in such a way? To find out that someone else is claiming what’s yours?” George turned his head away from his face, “He took my wife from me.”

“And she went freely,” George said, a sudden rush of stupid courage building inside.

A strong hand grabbed his jaw, forcing his face up to meet his gaze, “The very thought of someone else inside the person I love most in this world, repulses me to no end.” Belrose said after a pause, a grimace twisting his lips.

He let go of George’s face. Getting up from his crouched position, Belrose started walking towards the door, his back towards George and his next words echoing through the empty room.

“A feeling Josh will soon share,” he said, before calling out Burke’s name. Behind him, Walker shuffled uncomfortably, his lips pursed in a tight line.

When realization hit him, George felt his whole body go cold and motionless.

Then he saw Zac Burke walking towards him, a sadistic smile coloring his face.    

 “No!” he yelled, feeling his throat closing up and his heart beating painfully in his chest. His wrists were burning with the effort of getting rid of the ropes that restrained him and he started kicking him as hard as he could, as soon as his hands connected with his skin. Tears were blurring his vision and he closed his eyes as he screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Burke!” Belrose called again, and Zac grunted impatiently, looking back at him, “Get him out of here. Don’t do anything without my orders, you hear me?” he said.

With his lips pursed in a tense line, Zac answered “Yeah, boss,” before he turned to the scared boy on the floor.

 

~ 

 

At first sight, the place seemed completely deserted, but Josh wasn’t stupid. He knew perfectly well that behind those walls were a lot of armed men, just waiting for him.

Belrose hadn’t said much on the phone beside George’s location and he didn’t need to either.

Josh knew exactly what he was getting himself into. There was a great chance that he wouldn’t come out of this alive, but fuck it if he’d leave George behind.

He realized now how stupid that had been in the first place, both in running away from this for so long and leaving George behind in a vain attempt to protect him.

He was safer by Josh’s side.

It was all his damned fault, George shouldn’t have to suffer because of his fucking mistakes and dumb choices. Josh was going to get George out of that place if it was the last thing he did.

Putting his gun in his holster he hopped off his motorcycle, looking around for any kind of movement as he approached the old abandoned building.

Josh tried to move as swiftly as he could, fast but making no sounds, until he finally got inside the building through the back door. Right around the corner of the long staff corridor was a huge room, the reception area, where two men were chatting with each other. They seemed to be alone.

Looking around, Josh found an empty bucket on the floor, abandoned like other construction material all around the place. He kicked it, the noise echoing in the walls and making the chatting of the two men cease immediately.

He walked closer to the other door and leaned against the wall, waiting.

“I’ll check,” he heard one of them whisper. The sound of the man’s footsteps, as he approached the dark corridor, was echoing in Josh’s ears.

As soon as he saw the man’s gun poking through the open door, Josh grabbed the man’s hand, catching him off guard, and pulled him further inside the corridor, twisting his arm and delivering a strong blow to the back of his head close to his nape, knocking him out automatically.

Getting hold of his body, Josh put him down slowly and silently.

Josh heard the other man’s footsteps approaching slowly, calling out his partner’s name.

He didn’t even give him time to process what was happening. Right as he was about to enter the corridor, Josh walked in his direction, punching him straight in the nose and taking advantage of his surprise to take the gun out of his hands.

Moving fast, Josh wrapped an arm around his neck and kicked the back of his knee to bring him down, which provided him the perfect angle to get him in a headlock.

Slowly, the blood stopped reaching his brain and he passed out.

Looking around, Josh found the staircase and as quickly and silently as he could, climbed them up.

Josh knew he wouldn’t go unnoticed. He knew that eventually he’d have to confront Belrose, but he’d try to take as much advantage of the surprise factor as he could.

 

~

 

After a lot of pleading, JJ finally convinced the nurse to let him see Jaymi. She said he should be waking any minute now, and so JJ was patiently waiting at his bed side, just staring at his face, waiting for any signs.

He didn’t like seeing Jaymi like this, connected to all kinds of machinery, pale and motionless, looking more like a doll than his Jaymi.

The waiting was despairing, he wasn’t sure he could take much longer of this.

During all this time, JJ thought about the last thing he said to Jaymi. He wasn’t sure what it was anymore, all he knew was that they were fighting again and his heart felt constricted at the simple thought of that being the very last conversation he had with Jaymi if things had gone-

Immediately he stopped his thoughts.

No, Jaymi was going to be fine.

As if on cue, Jaymi’s eyelids started to flutter, his fingers twitching slowly. JJ was by his side in a heartbeat, watching his face attentively. “Jaymi?” he whispered.

Jaymi murmured something, his eyes still closed. It was enough to lift the weight off JJ’s heart.

“Thank God you’re okay,” JJ mumbled, holding his hand and bringing it to his lips, resting it against them. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jaymi,” he whispered.

Jaymi’s small squeezes told him he was listening and JJ just kept right on talking, suddenly feeling this suffocating need of pouring his emotions out to him; make it all clear, as if time was running out.

“I love you, you hear me?” he said, “I don’t want to ever experience that again, I’m not fucking having any of that ever again, Jaymi. I don’t wanna hear anything about your heart stopping.”  

Lazily Jaymi opened his eyes for a second, looking at JJ with the sleep haze still clouding his gaze. The corner of his lip raised just slightly before he closed his eyes again, sighing, “I think it just did for a moment.”

JJ chuckled lightly, teary eyed, as he tightened his grip on Jaymi’s hand, kissing his knuckles and watching as the other boy slowly let sleep take him again. 

 

~ 

 

There he was. As soon as Josh put a foot inside the dance studio, a smile bent Belrose’s lips.

Josh looked unimpressed, completely unsurprised, as if he’d been expecting Belrose to stand in that exact position, simply waiting for him.

“Josh,” Belrose greeted in a cheerful tone, “it’s been a while now, has it not?” he proceeded, conversationally. 

Josh’s face was locked in that hard expression of his, hiding every ounce of emotions behind it. Josh’s eyes wandered swiftly through the whole room.

“Stop fucking around. You know why I’m here,” Josh said dismissing Belrose’s pointless conversation, his voice cold and steady, unlike his heartbeat that was increasing at every passing second. Belrose smiled.

“Yes, I do,” he said. “You’re looking for something, aren’t you?”

Josh’s jaw tensed. He couldn’t deal with Belrose’s antics right now. He could feel his hands shaking, the sudden anger flooding his body and almost making him loose control of his actions.

Josh rolled his hands into fists, keeping them steady by his side.

As much as he tried to keep his cool, Belrose’s eyes fell on his shaking fists and his smile widened as he turned his head towards one of his men, nodding for him to move. Gun in hand, he got out of the room through another door, disappearing for only a few moments.

Josh’s eyes were fixed on Belrose, trying to anticipate any movement, but when someone entered the room again, his eyes were drawn to the door.

He felt his heart jump in his chest at the vision.

Zac Burke entered the room with George, his arm across George’s chest holding him close, too fucking close, a knife against his neck.

George’s white button up shirt was ripped open, stains of blood coloring the white fabric and exposed skin. There were bruises all over his abdomen and scratches on his face. He could barely stand on his own.

“Is  _this_  what you want?” Belrose said, talking about George as if he was nothing but a rag doll.

Josh’s anger was beyond anything he’d ever felt. It was blinding, suddenly clouding his brain and it took everything he had to not grab his gun and shoot their eyes out of their heads.

Still, his hand moved without his permission and was reaching back towards his holster. Three guns were immediately pointed at him and the knife by George’s neck sunk in his skin a little further, making him cry out helplessly.  

The sound was like a stab to Josh and he never felt so helpless in his life before.

“Calm down, Josh,” Belrose said in the same cheerful tone, as out of place in this situation as his whole figure in this old gym. “I have something to propose to you; a business. You better think this very well,  _mon ami_ ,” Belrose said, moving around and closer to George.

Josh’s eyes fell on George’s for a moment; he looked numb and defeated, tears gathering and spilling from his eyes, but no sobs escaped his mouth. Not even when Zac’s hands moved to caress his skin did he flinch.

Zac was kissing his neck, his eyes locked on Josh’s, a smirk curving his lips and that was it for Josh. With an enraged groan he stormed towards Zac, completely blind with fury, ready to rip his face with his own hands if it came down to it.

But he never made it there. Immediately, three pairs of hands were holding him down and his knees hit the floor painfully. There was a gun barrel pressed against his forehead. He heard Zac’s laugh but his eyes weren’t fixed on him anymore.

Belrose sighed impatiently and simply stated, “Zac,” in a warning tone that ceased Zac’s laugh and movements immediately.

“Let him go,” Josh said, looking up at Belrose, “This is between me and you, he has nothing to do with it.”

Belrose chuckled at that, “Now, he has everything to do with it,” he said, a smirk on his face.

Josh groaned, irritated, “You want me. I’m here, let him go and have your revenge on _me_.”

“You are not listening to me, Josh,” Belrose sing sung, pacing in front of him, hands shoved in his pockets. Josh frowned, his eyes on him, occasionally slipping towards George, still immobile in Zac’s hands. “Young George is now a big part of my businesses too. Look at him, Josh,” Belrose said, stopping in front of George, gripping George’s jaw to force his face up to face him. Josh’s whole body tensed, his muscles shaking with the effort he was making to keep still.

“Such a pretty face he has, doesn’t he? I’ve sold my share of pretty faces – enough to know precisely how lucrative his will be. And let me tell you, he will get me a whole lot of money, if sold to the right people.”

Josh’s eyes snapped from George’s unmoving form to Belrose and suddenly everything seemed to make sense.

The human traffic business – Belrose was behind it, of course.

His mind started wondering, the simple thought of George sold like that, like a slave, a plaything for others to satisfy their disgusting needs and fantasies with, was making him physically sick.

“No!” Josh yelled suddenly, struggling to get rid of the hands holding him down, his breathing quickening and his heart hammering in his chest with pure dread taking over him. The first punch he almost didn’t even feel, adrenaline pumping him to struggle against the hands holding him. But more followed, and his resistance started fading as his strength left his body. He fell forward on his knees, scratching his hands on the floor.

 “Kill me if you want to, but leave him out of this! I was the one who fucking betrayed you,” Josh said, spitting out the blood in his mouth, his face muscles hurting with every word he said.

“Yes, you were. And we both know what happens to those who betray me,” Belrose said, a deadly serious expression taking over his face for the first time. Josh stared back at him, “In fact,” Belrose started, turning around and gesturing to one of his men, “allow me to refresh your memory again.”

Josh looked up at the door again when the distinct sound of heels hitting the floor echoed through the walls. A few feet away being pulled by the arm by a man, a woman entered the room, her face hidden behind her hair as she refused to look up.

His heart dropped in his chest.

 _Megan_.

The man pushed her in his direction so violently she lost her balance and fell on the floor right in front of Josh.

His hand reached out to cup her face, “Megan,” he whispered, turning her face up towards him.

She was nothing but a ghost of the woman Josh once knew. Her sobs could be heard through the entire room and her tears reached his fingers and fell freely down her face, to the floor.

When he looked at her his breath caught in his throat. His fingers came up to take her hair off her face, revealing her skin.

A huge and thick red line marked the left side of her face, from her forehead to her chin, barely missing the corner of her eye, dragging it and the corner of her mouth slightly down. Other, smaller, scars and even burns marked her cheek, her neck and her shoulder deforming her skin and her once flawless features.

Josh stood there, looking horrified at what Belrose had done to her, his fingers tracing the scars as she held on to his other hand, gripping tightly, her deep brown eyes flooding with tears.

“What did he do to you?” he mumbled, anger boiling his blood all over again. She just shook her head trying to speak through her sobs.

“You need to get out of here, Josh,  _hors d’ici!_ ” she pleaded. But Josh couldn’t just run away. Not this time.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice; he wouldn’t abandon George like he did Megan. “ _Pardonnez-moi de vous abandonner,_ ” he said.

A faint smile crossed her lips and she brought her hand to his face forgiveness written all over her features.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your very heartfelt reunion,” Belrose’s voice broke them out of their little bubble, “but I have pressing matters to be attended to right now. Chérie, put yourself together, please,” he said in a loving tone of voice, as if he wasn’t the reason Megan was in that state in the first place.

“What the fuck do you want with all this?” Josh spat out, slowly getting up and cleaning the blood on his lip.

“You see, I’m a very forgiving man,” Belrose said, and Josh could almost laugh at that after taking a look at Megan, “I will give you another chance to redeem yourself. You are a fucking son of a bitch, Josh Cuthbert, the bravest I have ever met, perhaps, and a very lucrative one. You want to save your little bitch over there from being sold to be fucked around like a whore? Join me, then. Work for me again, let’s built a fucking empire together and all will be forgotten. And I will give you him.”

Josh’s eyes fell on George. He was crying, looking the most lost and scared that he’s ever seen anyone in his life before. And that was saying something.

There really wasn’t much to think here. Josh would do anything to save George, whatever that meant. He knew he was getting himself in something dangerous and more than that, something absolutely disgusting that Josh couldn’t even start to contemplate, but George was more important.

“Josh, don’t,”

It was a simple broken whisper that fell from George’s lips, but was enough to sink Josh’s heart completely. There was no way out of this.

If he said no Belrose would kill him and take George to be sold like a fucking slave. And the scary and unimaginable factor in that scenario wasn’t his own death, but the incapacity of saving George from such a cruel fate.

Josh was about to open his mouth and say what Belrose wanted to hear when multiple gunshots were fired through the whole room.

Immediately Josh dropped to the floor, covering his head in a reflex as he watched what was going on.

James Arthur burst through the same door he had come from, gun in his hand, shooting every moving form. Behind him were Dan and Greg, both holding similar guns and making their way inside.

Josh reached for his gun, now in the dead hands of the guy who had taken it from him earlier, covering for James.

Looking around he saw Megan reaching for the butterfly knife of one the fallen men and run towards Belrose, screaming like a mad woman, catching him by surprise. She buried the knife on his chest, again and again and again until suddenly she stopped, her eyes widening, blood spilling from her mouth.

Belrose’s lifeless body fell before she did and Josh only had time to see Zac on the other side of the room, gun in hand, still pointing at her before running away through the other door with George.

“Megan!” Josh yelled, running towards her. He caught her before she hit the floor.

She gasped, tears streaming freely down her face and she brought her hand up to touch his face lightly.

“I have a secret to tell you, “she said in her thick French accent, struggling to get the words out. He held the hand caressing his skin in his own.

“ _Je t’aime_ …” she whispered, “ _J’ai toujours aimé_ ,” and just like that, she stopped breathing, her hand falling from Josh’s grasp.

Josh felt numb. There was absolutely no emotions inside of him for a long moment. Her brown eyes were still glaring up, even though they could not see anymore and Josh couldn’t even stand to move.

His brain was blank.

Until James’ voice ringed in his ears, “Josh, are you okay?” he asked in a hurry. Josh nodded. It was almost automatic.

With shaky fingers, he closed Megan’s eyes lids, slowly letting her body on the floor.

“This isn’t over yet, Josh,” James said, “Please, focus,” he said.

It was somehow falling in deaf ears. Josh couldn’t quite bring his brain to process what was going on.

“Josh! We have to find George!” James said, shaking him.

At the mention of George’s name, Josh’s senses came back to life. He took a last look at the scenario in front of him and rose to his feet, gun in hand, ready to run after Zac Burke.

Before he exited the room he heard a sharp scream and a deafening cry that had him turn around for just a second.

Ella was there, on the floor crying her eyes out. Greg immediately fell next to her tossing his gun aside and involving her with his arms, pulling her against his chest and holding her tight.

On the floor in front of her, Megan’s lifeless body was still gripping the butterfly knife stained with Belrose’s blood.


	24. Chapter 23

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the first shot was heard, George felt Zac’s grip on him tighten as he rotated his body to shield him. It wasn’t a protective act; it was a possessive one, like someone was trying to take away his favourite toy before he was done playing with it.

George’s eyes went to Josh automatically, he saw him on the floor and for a moment his heart stopped and he went ice cold.

But then Josh was looking up, moving in search for his gun and George closed his eyes, a flying ounce of relief taking over his body.

It wasn’t for long.

He felt it before he saw Zac’s arm moving, reaching for his gun and pointing straight towards Josh.

George wasn’t exactly sure how he was able to think so fast, to move at the right moment. Maybe it was like survival instinct, maybe it was just his heart taking over when his brain wasn’t able to find his body’s commands.

He remembers screaming “ _No!_ ” in a broken voice before his hands were pushing Zac’s arm away at the same time he pulled the trigger.

George closed his eyes, and felt his body being pulled by an angry Zac. It felt like an eternity until Josh’s voice echoed again, a scream, “Megan!” and George finally opened his eyes again, looking straight to Josh. He was holding Megan, the blood in her back staining his shaky hands.

The look on his face, the undeniable pain crossing Josh’s expression left George completely paralyzed.

_What have I done?_

He didn’t have time to dwell on it, though. Zac dragged him out of the dance studio, his body too weakened to even attempt running away from him.

There was nothing between Zac and him now. Where before stood Belrose’s commands and authority, now was nothing. Zac’s strings had been cut loose and George feared it just as much as whatever destiny Belrose had for him.

Zac dragged him down the stairs back to the small locker room in which Zac had kept him for the last hours.

Some guys passed them on their way down, running with guns in hand, ready to shoot, but George couldn’t even see their faces straight.

Suddenly his body was just too hot and it was hard to breathe; like the air was thinning and his chest constricting. The whole world was spinning and his head was getting heavier by the second.

The smell of copper was making him sick. Before, it almost passed unnoticed to George, but now, after seeing all that blood spilt, seeing the true source of the metallic scent, it was impossible to ignore. George’s own shirt was soaked in it.

As they entered the locker room, the intensity of it was automatically magnified and George’s heart started beating faster and faster at the memories it brought.

If he closed his eyes he could still see Walker appearing in at the door, eyes on Zac, the disgust plain in them, a grimace on his face. He could still feel the panic that was taking over him as Zac tried once again to rip his clothes off, now that his boss was nowhere to be seen. He remembered the despair as he scratched and kicked and tried to run away, only to be stopped by the overwhelming pain in his leg.

But above all, he didn’t even have to close to his eyes to see, clear as day, Walker grabbing Zac and pulling him away from George, screaming how much of a disgusting pig he was, and that he never agreed to this, that his business were drugs and drugs alone.

George could still hear the sickening sound of Zac’s knuckles hitting the bones in Walker’s face, as he tried to crawl to the door, taking advantage of the distraction.

He remembered glancing back to see the particularly violent fight between the two men. George didn’t stop, struggling to get up, to get out. There was a hand on his shoulder, turning him around.

Walker’s eyes were determined as he gripped his hunter knife and said  _Run kid, get out of here_.

And then a knife appeared, slitting his throat open, the blood gushing and falling on George’s ripped shirt as the sickening sound of Mason Walker drowning in his own blood filled the room. His body fell on top of George and he screamed, his lungs burning as those lifeless eyes were still gazing him, and he’d never been so scared in his life.

The memory was interrupted by Zac’s voice, “Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ll be out of here in a second,” he said, conversationally, “I just have to get some stuff and we’ll be on our way.”

He dropped George on the bench, knowing perfectly well he wouldn’t be able to move. Zac grabbed George’s jaw, a smile on his face and he kissed his lips quickly, before heading towards one of the lockers.

Immediately George brought his torn sleeve up to clean his mouth, a grimace on his face. His eyes fell on the shower area, where Walker’s body was laying on the ground, a few meters away, his cold eyes still open.

George’s whole body was shaking with this sensation, this overwhelming feeling he couldn’t quite describe, like this was a horrible nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. His reality was so altered his brain was still having trouble to process everything, no matter how long it had been.

The small windows near the ceiling were enough to illuminate the room. The golden rays indicated that the sun was almost setting. A particular ray was shinning on George’s eyes and he looked in its direction.

Something was shinning in Walker’s hand. George’s heart jumped in his chest when he realized it was Walker’s knife.

He stole a glance in Zac’s direction, he was taking money out of the locker room, stuffing it into a bag, his back towards George. Looking back at the knife he took a deep breath. The distance wasn’t so big.

Maybe he could do this.

 

~ 

 

Without even flickering an eyelid, Josh’s gun rose as soon as he saw the first guy appearing on the steps and he pressed the trigger. Headshot.

The man tumbled back, making other guy behind him loose his balance. Josh wasted no time, running in his direction, taking it in his advantage and with a high kick he sent the gun flying off his hand.

Looking down, he saw at least another three guys approaching, aiming, ready to shoot. Josh’s hands fell on the guy’s jaw and nape and he twisted his head so violently the crack was perfectly audible.

James was already knelt by the stairs, taking cover and ready to cover Josh by the time the first shot was fired from downstairs.

Josh grabbed the man’s lifeless body and pressed it against him, using it as a shield as he fired back. He moved sideways towards James and the cover the wall offered, always firing, even thought he couldn’t see much.

As soon as he was safe from the gunshots he let the guy’s body fall to the floor and continued shooting until the very last man fell to the ground.

He turned around to face James.

“Are you alright?” He asked, kneeling by his side as he saw him gripping his shoulder. As James took his hand off his shoulder, the blood stain on his shirt became visible.

“Yeah,” he said, looking at it, “I’ll be fine.”

His eyes turned to Josh afterwards, “Go,” he said.

Josh didn’t need to be told twice. He stormed off the stairs, gun in hand, looking around for any potential threats. That was when a sharp cry echoed through the walls.

“George!” Josh shouted before he could help himself, running towards the locker rooms.

His heart was beating so fast in this chest it threatened to jump out of his mouth. The million sceneries of what he could find in that locker room running through his mind non-stop, as well as that scream, echoing in his ears.

It felt like he couldn’t run fast enough, like his legs were being dragged back.

Josh’s traitorous mind kept filling with horrible images of George’s eyes, his sparkle missing and his whole body motionless.

He couldn’t deal with it – his brain couldn’t even acknowledge that option. If anything had happened to George, Josh would destroy the whole world.

There was only one door open in the corridor of the locker rooms. As Josh got in and turned the corner that shielded the whole room from view his breath got stuck in his throat.

His eyes took in the sight in front of him and his heart dropped violently to his feet.

The first thing he saw was blood staining the floor and Walker’s body near the showers, one of the lockers was open, a bag abandoned with money spilling out.

And on the floor right next to it, he saw Zac’s back. He was kneeling on the floor and beneath him, Josh could see George’s legs along with a massive pool of blood.

He felt his lungs contracting to the point that it was impossible to breathe. Dizziness took over him.

Josh knew that whoever lost that much blood wasn’t alive for much longer. Suddenly his throat was burning with tears and he couldn’t move. His whole body was shaking.

Zac’s shoulders moved and Josh’s whole world tumbled down at the same moment.

_No._

A cold sensation started in his chest and spread wildly through his body.

 _It couldn’t be_. It wasn’t possible.

_No._

Josh felt his knees shaking and it was hard to stay up. The simple thought of George not being of this world anymore…

“George,” it was a whisper, a broken whisper that escaped his lips before he could help it.

Before, it was easy to keep the façade up – to pretend that nothing affected him. There was always something pulling him through. There was always something…

Now, there was nothing; absolutely nothing but a hole in his being.

For the first time in years his vision was blurred with tears and the pain in his chest was too much to suppress. His hand reached out to the wall to support his body and he closed his eyes for a second, the tears streaming down his face, his brow furrowed and mouth ajar as if a cry would come out of it anytime.

He was too late…

It was too late.

Josh opened his eyes again, and his vision was so blurred that he almost missed the movement of Zac’s shoulder again.

But no matter how blurred his vision was, the next sound that echoed through the room was clear, like it was right by Josh’s ears.

“ _Josh_ ,”

It was a sob, a weak pained sound coming from across the room, but still, his voice was unmistakable.

Immediately Josh’s legs were urging him forward and he was falling on his knees next to Zac’s figure and he saw George’s hands pushing at his shoulder, trying to take him off himself. That was when he realized what happened.

Josh pushed him back himself, his heart hammering in his chest and he could almost laugh with relief when he found George’s  _very alive_  eyes staring back at him.

George’s whole body was shaking, he was covered in blood, and so scared it was painful for Josh to see and not be able to do much about it. George’s shaky hand was still gripping the knife and the trauma was visible in his eyes.

“George,” he called again, reaching out for him, taking the knife from his hands and grabbing them until they stilled. “What did they do to you?” he whispered.

In that moment, George started crying, mumbling, “I killed him, Josh, I killed him,” over and over as Josh pulled him closer, holding him tight in his arms.

“You’re okay now, I’m here, you’re okay,” Josh said, kissing his forehead and drying his own tears with the sleeve of his jacket.

“You left me,” George said, pulling back, “You can’t do that, never do that again!”

Josh closed his eyes for a moment before he pulled back to look into George’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry-“

He wanted to say something more, but words were missing and his heart was still hammering in his chest. Josh took a look at George’s ripped clothes and the guilt it brought was consuming his soul. “This is all my fault, I should’ve stayed and protected you, I’m so sorry, George, I’m so sorry.”

George’s bloody hands came up to grip Josh’s jacket, “Just promise me that you’ll never do it again. Promise me you’ll stay with me always,” George pleaded, voice shaking with his sobs.

“I promise,” Josh said, cupping his face, George’s hand coming right on top of his. “I promise,” he repeated, and then kissed him.

“Don’t you dare break that one, you hear me?” George said, keeping him close by his collar, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

“I won’t,” Josh promised, “George, I love you.”

George’s heart skipped a beat at that. He knew it already, but having Josh saying it out loud still made his already ragged breathing get caught in his throat. He nodded, as ridiculous as it seemed for him it was the only thing he could do, just before he pulled Josh in again, kissing him again.

After a pause, Josh spoke again.

“I’m taking you out of here.”

And there was something in his tone of voice that suggested he was talking about something other than just this old gym.

“Where are we going?” George asked, wincing when Josh accidentally touched his wounded leg to pass his arms beneath it, in order to lift him up from the ground.

“Away. As far away as I can take you. Are you okay with it?”

He thought about it for the briefest second. After this, he’d go to the end of the fucking world with Josh, if it meant being by his side always. There was nothing holding him back anymore. There was nothing here for him. No comfort, no family, no friends, no home.

Once his aunt told him home is where your heart is.

Then, in that case, Josh was his. Josh was what he had left, besides JJ. It’d be hard leaving JJ, but he’d be fine; he has Jaymi.

With that in mind, he made his decision. It wasn’t a hard one.

Wrapping his arms around Josh’s neck, George just nodded.

“ _Yes._ ”


	25. Epilogue

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making his way down the hall, James Arthur straightened his tie once again as he nodded to the people walking by. The characteristic chaos of the office was already familiar as was the path to his boss’s personal one.

Standing in front of the door, he knocked and waited.

“Yes, James, come in.”

He did, gripping the folder in one hand and turning the hand knob with the other.

“I brought the report you asked,” James said, approaching the desk and laying the folder on top of it. “Ah, yes, good, good,” the other man said, picking it up and flipping the several documents, quickly glancing at them.

“If that’s all, I still have work to do, sir,” James said, ready to turn and leave.

“This was not the only reason I called you here, James,” his boss said.

James stopped, facing him again and waiting for the questions he knew his boss had.

“I understand you maintain contact with JJ Hamblett,” he said, and James nodded. Occasionally he did talk to JJ. The other man nodded as well, walking around the desk to lean against it, arms crossed on his chest and facing James.

“Is the operation compromised?” he asked.

“They know who I am, and what I work  _for_. But that’s about it, sir. They don’t know what I’m working  _on._ ”

His boss eyed him suspiciously, his brow furrowing, “Can we trust him? Both of them?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.” James said, promptly, “In fact, I think we could use their help.”

At that, his boss smirked, “You don’t think our agents are up to the job, then?”

James’ eyebrows rose and he corrected himself immediately, “not at all, sir. I just think we could use someone with Hamblett’s reputation to infiltrate more quickly.”

His boss seemed to reflect about it for a few moments before asking “What makes you think he’ll collaborate with us?”

James smiled, “Because he’s got a whole lot more to win than to lose.” 

 

 ~

 

Stopping his car in the middle of the street, right in from of the club’s main door, JJ hit the honk several times, rolling down his window and sticking” his head out to scream “Jaymi!” several times.

A few seconds after that and Dan was rounding the corner of the alley adjacent a few feet away, looking at him like he was mad, “What the fuck, son?” he said, arms outstretched.

JJ smirked and ignored him, hitting the honk again and calling Jaymi. The door opened and Ella came out, the same confused look that Dan had now on her face.

“Are you mad? What’s with all the screaming?” Ella said, looking around, her hair falling down from her messy ponytail.

That was when Greg appeared carrying a huge carton box with plastic glasses, approaching the main door.

“Where is Jaymi?”

“Hey,” Dan shouted to Greg, “what are you doing? If I have to use the back door you will use it too!” Greg just ignored him. Ella was looking at him with her eyebrows raised. Greg smiled at her, “Hi babe, you look so pretty today,” he said, fluttering his eyelashes in an exaggerated manner.

Ella laughed, “Flattery will get you nowhere,“ she said as he approached her, turning the box so he could get his face closer to hers.

“How about a kiss? Will that get me somewhere?” he said, smiling, before he kissed her lips.

“Nice try, but you still have to go around and use the back door,” she said, smiling mischievously. Greg looked at her indignantly.

“I feel used,” he said, pouting. Ella laughed, putting her hands on his shoulder and standing on the tip of her toes to kiss him.

“Where the hell is Jaymi?” JJ asked again. “I. Want. Jaymi. Now!” he said, honking to punctuate every word.

Dan shook his head in disapproval before he disappeared around the corner, back to his job, probably.

“Excuse me,” Jaymi said, tapping on Ella’s shoulder to get her attention. She broke the kiss immediately and got out of his way. He was holding his blazer in one hand.

“You’re such an impatient asshole, goddamn it,” Jaymi commented, a smile on his face, as he went around the car to the passenger side.

“Where are you two going?” Greg asked. JJ rose an eyebrow at him.

“That’s none of your fucking business, West,” he said.

“JJ’s buying me dinner,” Jaymi said, a smug smile on his face as he opened the door. Ella and Greg shared a look, biting off their smiles as Jaymi got in the car.

“And are you coming back tonight, or…?” Ella said, letting the sentence trail out as she looked at them suggestively.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t count on it. I’m paying to get lucky not just for shits and giggles,” JJ said. Greg laughed at that and Jaymi smacked him on the arm. He then leaned over JJ to talk to the couple outside.

“That means you two are in charge tonight. Please don’t set my club on fire,” Jaymi said. Greg looked at Ella then, biting his lip, raising his eyebrows suggestively, and Ella started laughing as well, playfully pushing him off her as he tried to kiss her again.

“And no sex in my fucking office!” Jaymi added, before throwing them the keys.

“ _Hasta_ , bitches!” JJ saluted them, smiling, before he took off.

 Putting the keys in her pocket, Ella started fixing her hair, putting it back into a pony tail, as Greg watched JJ’s car disappear around the corner. Then, with the box still in his hands he turned around to face Ella, a thoughtful expression on his face, and said, “Do you think he’ll mind if we have sex in the back room behind the bar, though?”

Ella laughed, punching him playfully on the arm before she turned around and walked back in with Greg following. She stopped him from getting in though, “Uh-uh,” she said, “you have to use the back door.”

And she kissed him, before closing the door on his face.

 

~ 

 

“Have you talked to your mom recently?” Jaymi asked, the night’s cool air hitting his face as they left the restaurant. Beside him, JJ sighed.

“No, not really…”

“Is she still asking about George?” Jaymi asked, putting his hands in his pockets as they both walked slowly to JJ’s car, parked barely a block away, in a more deserted and dark area.

“It’s all she has asked about these last three months,” JJ said.

Jaymi bit his lip, “Why don’t you tell her? It’s not like she can’t be trusted, and it’d put her mind to ease.”

JJ was already shaking his head at the beginning of Jaymi’s sentence. “No, I can’t. George was dragged into the mess that is my life and look what happened. No, my mom’s staying out of this,” JJ said firmly. He glanced at Jaymi, seeing the frown on his face and added, “She knows he’s alright. She just doesn’t know where… or with who.”

Jaymi smiled. The idea of JJ’s mom meeting Josh was rather humorous. But the idea of JJ’s mom reaction to knowing George ran away with someone like Josh, was… well not funny at all.

Neither of them knew exactly the place where Josh and George were. Sometimes they called and a strange number appeared on the caller ID, but each time it was a different number. They never said anything that wasn’t essential, the calls were short and were nothing more than a way of telling both Jaymi and JJ that they were safe and well.

There was a question Jaymi wanted to ask for a long time but hadn’t quite found the courage to do so. It was somehow a forbidden topic, but still, his curiosity spoke louder.

“What about your uncles?” he said, in a soft voice.

JJ sighed, scratching his forehead, “Jaymi-“ he started, but Jaymi cut him off, “I know you don’t speak to them, but George’s their son. Do they even care?”

JJ looked at him, “Well, they like to pretend they do…” he said, “they hired someone to look for him, track him down.”

“Does Josh know that?” Jaymi asked. JJ nodded looking over at him with a small smile curling his lip.

“Don’t won’t Jaymi, they’re not gonna get them,” he said. Jaymi smiled as they neared the car, and silence fell in between them.

Jaymi was watching JJ going around the car to get in and then stole a quick glance to the backseat. He has no idea what stole his attention, but as soon as he looked at it an idea formed in his head, and he looked at JJ, biting the smile off his face.

JJ was already watching him from across, a smirk tugging the corners of his lips as well when he followed Jaymi’s line of thought.

“You kinky little bastard,” JJ said. Jaymi actually laughed at that, before he stole a quick glance around. The place really was deserted, and it was rather  _dark_ …

“You’re right,” Jaymi said, taking his blazer off and opening the door, “We should probably wait until we get home, right?” he said, innocently. But the smirk on his face was all but that.

“Oh, no,” JJ said, “fuck no, you don’t get to put those ideas in my head and then brush it off like that.”

Jaymi smiled and closing the passenger’s door, he circled the car and grabbed JJ’s collar, pushing him up against the car. He kissed him as he opened the backseat’s door.

JJ broke the kiss, “we should’ve done this earlier,” he said, chuckling as he took his own jacket off and throwing it into the car carelessly -  it was summer already, but some nights were still pretty cold.

Jaymi laughed as well, “Yeah, well, I think that pretty much describes our whole fucking relationship, JJ.”

JJ smiled and kissed him again for just a few seconds before Jaymi’s hands were on his shoulders, throwing him into the backseat of the car.

 

~

 

“James, wait just a second,” his boss said, gesturing for James to wait before he left his desk. It was past his hour – like always - but since from his first day working for Interpol, James learned that in this job schedules could be very flexible. Most of his colleagues had already switched shifts and even though the building was calmer now, there were still a lot of people around.

“Is there a problem with the report, sir?” James asked, a frown on his face.

“No, no problem at all,” his boss said. He was holding his brief case in one hand and the other laid on James’ shoulder to guide him, “Walk with me.”

James grabbed his own stuff and by his boss’s side he walked down the corridor, towards the elevators. Mindlessly he took a look at the watch in his wrist; it still marked the UK time – 9:26pm. That meant 10:26pm here, in France.

“James, I believe you’re aware certain details about your case don’t quite fit in,” immediately James’ shoulders stiffed. He was talking about Zac Burke’s death – about George Shelley and Josh Cuthbert going missing.

James knew it wasn’t going to be easy to deflect his boss from this, but honestly, he thought he would have more time to deal with it.

“Sir, I-“ his boss interrupted him, though.

“No, James, listen to me,” he said, stopping in front of the elevator doors, looking around for a second. He only spoke again when they were inside, and the doors closed, “we’ve been working with the Italian Police. We have reasons to believe Josh Cuthbert is working with or for the Sicilian Mafia, stealing diamonds, drug trafficking, and suspected human trafficking, mainly. James, I can’t tell you all the details, it’s obviously confidential, but I need you to tell me; do you know where Josh Cuthbert and George Shelley are?”

James stopped for a minute taking all the information in. And then, with a frown on his face he answered, “I honestly don’t know, sir.”

His boss sighed, “Good. This is good. I’ll deal with the lapses on your report. Talk to Hamblett, make sure he collaborates,” he said, a hand on his shoulder. “Cuthbert and him are the key to dismantling this whole thing down. Make sure no one knows where he is, James.“

The elevator’s doors opened and his boss got out and into the garage. Before the doors closed he turned around.

“And remember: this operation is classified.”

And then, as if on cue, the elevator’s doors closed between them. 

 

 

 ~~

 

 

Miss Bianchi had just recently divorced her third husband. It was a rather stressful and long process and even though she wasn’t exactly very distraught about it, it still robbed her of her usual good mood and volition to attend such an eccentric event as tonight’s Fundraising Masquerade Ball.

Don’t get her wrong, thought, she loved these. It was most definitely not the first time she attended one here in Milan, however it was certainly the first time she did so without the company of her husband – well, one of them, at least.

It downed her spirits a little bit, like it would any other woman of hers or any other age, and even thought the weight of her brand new one hundred carat diamond necklace was certainly reassuring it was not as much of a mood lifter as one would expect. She could feel the eyes behind the elaborate masks of the room turn in her direction, towards her neck, and still, it wasn’t quite satisfying.

It was flattering and it inflamed her ego, but there was still something missing.

Miss Bianchi was never a weak woman, and for the fifty three years she lived on this Earth, she refused to be seen as such, but now, something else was taking over her and silencing her pride; a deep need to be on the receiving end of someone’s affections.

She craved passion and the liveliness it brought. She wanted to disregard all rules of behaviour and get lost in a strong pair of arms. For just one night, she wanted to run off with a complete stranger.

She found herself sighing. Holding her mask in one hand, she spotted the waiter boy a few feet away, his slightly long and dishevelled light brown hair barely disguising the strand of the mask tied around his face. Miss Bianchi approached him in a few steps, reaching for one of the champagne flutes.

She never got the chance to grab one, thought. A young man appeared from the other side of the waiter, wearing a white mask that covered only one eye and one side of his face, the other eye concealed behind a black painting that complemented the mask beautifully and kept the stranger’s identity secret.

He grabbed the same flute she was reaching for. Then, looking at the waiter, the uncovered eyebrow rising on his forehead, he dismissed him with a thank you and a slight gesture of his head.

He was truly one of the most mesmerizingly beautiful creatures she had ever laid eyes upon. Wearing a three piece tuxedo that enhanced his figure and short darkish hair in a stylized yet classy manner, everything about him was captivating and Miss Bianchi couldn’t help the flutter of her heart as the stranger offered her the glass in his hand with a small smile.

“ _Grazie_ ,” she replied, a smile forming in her lips.

"You’re welcome, Ma’am," he said in a British accent. She felt her smile widen, a sudden hot wave of something cursing through her body. “Excuse me, Ma’am, I can’t help but wonder,” he started with a charming little smirk, ” why is someone like you here alone?”

She couldn’t contain her smile or the excited little jump her heart gave in her chest at his words.

“What makes you think I’m here alone? Maybe my date is somewhere in the room, about to return to me,” Miss Bianchi said instead in a thick Italian accent, not meeting the stranger’s eyes, pretending to be interested in watching the people dancing and chatting all around.

“Then I must tell you, Ma’am,” he started again, and when she was about to turn in his direction to face him with both her eyebrows raised in amusement, he stepped into her personal space whispering, “He’s a fool for leaving your side for even the briefest moment.”

Miss Bianchi was struck speechless at that moment. Then, without daring to look into his eyes, she half said half sighed, “Why is that?”

She felt his hand ghosting on her shoulder, provoking goose bumps as he spoke again, “If I were him, I wouldn’t risk having someone stealing your attention from me,” he said.

“Oh,” was all she could say, feeling her heart beat faster, her breathing getting shallow. Then she dared looking at the stranger again. He looked like someone from a movie.

Everything about him was black and white. Except for his eyes. They were of a piercing blue colour that seemed to glow, as if there were lights shining in his eyes. There was also this mysterious air surrounding him; it was fascinating and completely thrilling.  

He was breathtaking and Miss Bianchi was only human.

He smiled to himself, his eyes dropping to the floor, taking a few steps back, maintaining the distance. “Forgive me for my indiscretion.”

“No,” she said, way too fast, but she couldn’t help it. “It’s all right,” Miss Bianchi assured, and unconsciously took those steps back towards him, yearning the closeness. “ _I am_  here alone,” she whispered.

He gave her a half smile and rose his glass to his lips. She did the same. Afterwards he took her half empty glass again, leaving them both on a tray of a waiter passing by.

“Why have you come alone?” he asked, a curious glint in his eyes and he took her hand and slowly walked her closer to the other dancing couples.

“I wasn’t planning on spending the whole night alone,” she said instead.

“Oh, is that so?” he laughed in a husky tone. Putting a hand on the middle of her back, just beneath her shoulder blade, he rose her right hand, starting to sway gently to the calm music filling the enormous hall.

“Pardon me if I’m in the way of your plans, then, Ma’am,” his tone was so charming it was hard for her to keep thinking straight.

“I still hadn’t had chosen my company when you joined me,” Miss Bianchi said and she felt him pulling her gently closer to him, his hand falling gradually lower, towards her waist.

“And now?” he inquired, looking her straight in the eyes. The hand holding her right one started playing with her fingers, trailing slowly down her arm and prompting her hand to fall on his other shoulder.

Miss Bianchi didn’t have it in her to answer that. His fingers seemed to be leaving behind a trail of fire that was consuming her being. It was hard to think straight, and by the time he reached her neck, her eyes were already fluttered shut.

“Please answer me, Ma’am,” he said in her ear, an innocent tone of voice, “I don’t want to misinterpret anything here.”

She could almost laugh, “Trust me, darling,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, “you’re not.”

He laughed and she opened her eyes to look at him, the short distance between them setting her on fire. She could feel his breath ghosting her lips and her heart beating faster than it had in her whole life.

Then as she closed her eyes, she felt a push driving him away from her.

“ _Mi scusi!_ ” Miss Bianchi heard, and when she opened her eyes she found the long haired waiter from before, a tray in his hands were a couple of flutes had spilled. “I’m so sorry, sir,” he said again, offering his napkin to clean the stain in the stranger’s suit.

He looked at the waiter, a rather annoyed expression on his face, and with his lips in a tight line he said, “It’s fine.”

The waiter apologized once again and then left, tray in hand.

“Are you alright?” Miss Bianchi asked.

“Yes,” he assured with a small smile, “I’m quite alright. I need to wash this.”

He looked up at her and taking her hand in his he brought it to his lips, “Don’t go anywhere,” he said. And just like that he disappeared in the middle of the crowd, leaving a blushing Miss Bianchi behind.

She was there completely awestruck for several minutes, smiling at the memories and excited with all the possibilities. It was indeed electrifying.

Sighing Miss Bianchi brought a hand to her chest, closing her eyes. She met her own skin beneath her fingertips.

Her eyes snapped open in a sudden horrifying realization that froze her insides.

Her one hundred carat diamond necklace was missing.

 

~ 

 

Meeting the wall with a hard thump, George grunted underneath Josh’s hands.

“Is your meeting with grandma over yet?” he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm, a sneer on his face.

“Really, Georgie? Jealousy?” Josh said, his lips millimetres away from his. George tried to twist out of his grasp, but it was such a lazy attempt Josh actually smiled. He didn’t want to get out. He was enjoying this.

“I’m not jealous of that old rag,” he spat out as if it were almost offensive that Josh would suggest such thing.

“From the way you ruined my jacket, I’d say otherwise,” Josh said, crushing his hips against George’s to keep him from moving.

They were in the middle of the corridor that went to the staff’s bathroom. It was off limits because the bathroom was no longer in use. The lightning was terrible and all George could see was the white side of Josh’s mask and the undeniable spark in his eyes.

“She had her fucking hands all over you, “George said in an aggressive tone, his breathing ragged by the effort he was making to keep his voice steady. He was failing miserably. Josh smiled; this whole thing was making him feel so smug.

George took his hands out of Josh’s grasp, and put them on both sides of Josh’s face, bringing him impossibly closer. “You’re mine,” he grunted.

Josh felt like his brain stop for a moment. Then he grabbed George’s hair and pulled him towards himself, their mouths connecting in a harsh way making George whine into the kiss, his hands twisting in Josh’s hair.

“I won’t have any of that shit again, you hear me, Josh?” George said, grabbing Josh’s jaw to look into his eyes. “I don’t care what I have to do. It’s the last time I see someone else touching you like that.”

Josh’s hands found their way around George’s waist, descending now to his hips and further down. “I don’t wanna see you touching anyone else like that, but me. Just. Me.”

At that Josh groaned, feeling an electrical wave taking over his body. He loved when George was like this; when he turned into this possessive little bastard that drove Josh absolutely crazy. “I don’t  _want_  anyone else.” Josh reassured, kissing him again, with a sort of hunger that kept increasing the longer their lips stayed connected.

George grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him apart from the kiss, while still maintaining their lips in contact, brushing on each other’s with every word, “Prove it to me,” he said, his pupils blown behind that simple dark mask.

“What do you want me to do?” Josh said in between kisses, loving how red and abused George’s lips already looked.

“I want you inside me,” George spoke, no shame in his voice, a devious little smirk curling his lip, “I want to feel you inside me, right now.”

Josh felt his stomach flutter at that, his breathing caught in his throat, and he was speechless for a moment. Then his body started moving on its own and he reached for George’s belt undoing it in sharp pulls that made George’s hips shoot forward with the movement.

The younger boy smiled mischievously, a hand coming up to hold himself against the wall and the other still in Josh’s hair, messing it up. Soon enough George was stepping out of his black pants, looking around as his hands met Josh’s as he unbuttoned his.

Josh took his hands off, letting George work on it instead, gripping his hair he tilted George’s head to the side, creating access to his neck. He was about to take his mask off when George protested, “No!” he said, a hand stopping Josh’s, “Leave it on, I want you to take me wearing it.”

Josh grunted, closing his eyes as new waves of pure desire cursed thought him, “You fucking-,“ but he didn’t even bothered ending the sentence. He sank his teeth in George’s flesh with enough pressure to leave a mark but not break the skin.

Tightening his grip on Josh’s hair, George brought him slightly closer as the other boy kissed his neck. George turned his head in order to reach Josh’s ear, “Imagine if someone catches us, Josh. Imagine if that old rag comes bursting, look for you and finds us like this?” he whispered in a husky and breathless tone.

He could feel the vibrations of Josh’s moans against his skin, “I want her to recognise you by your mask. I want her to find her mysterious and charming stranger fucking a waiter boy in the back of the building.”

George’s words were driving Josh insane by this point. If he ever meant to answer back, the idea was lost with his ability to form words.

“You’re loving this, aren’t you, Josh? I know you are, I can  _feel it_ ,” George continued, a small chuckle leaving his lips as he grinded his hips against Josh’s. “Is it because  _I do look_  like an innocent waiter boy, Joshy?” he said with a pout as Josh drew back, closing his eyes and breathing heavily.

“You’re dying to spin me around and fuck me hard against the wall, like a fucking animal, aren’t you?”

At that, Josh’s hand fell over George’s mouth abruptly silencing him, and he bit his lower lip before taking a deep breath, “God fucking damn you,” he whispered before he took George’s boxers off in a swift move and lift him off the ground, holding him up and against the wall. George’s legs automatically wrapped around Josh’s waist to hold himself up as Josh’s fingers, covered in saliva, wandered around and found their way inside him.

George hissed, the sound transforming into a chuckle as he took notice of the intensity of Josh’s gaze on him. Groaning, Josh’s other hand covered his mouth again, but the glint in George’s fluttering eyes as his fingers moved inside him was enough to cause pangs of arousal cursing thought him, and he could move fast enough.

As Josh added more fingers, building up the rhythm, George’s arms outstretched, looking desperately for something to hold. The vibrations of his moans against Josh’s palms were cursing through Josh’s whole body and making his achingly hard erection pulse.

He couldn’t wait any longer, and neither could George.

Holding him by his hips with both hands he let George gently fall against him, invading him so painfully slowly that George had to bite his hand to not cry out.

But then Josh started moving against him, and before he could control himself, a rather loud sigh escaped his lips. He opened his eyes as soon as he felt Josh’s hand falling over his mouth again, his whole body lit on fire, and he felt like he could cry, right now.

“You have the dirtiest mouth, you’re all teasing, but when it comes down to it, you can’t take it, can you?” Josh whispered against his ear, “You just fall apart right in between my hands.”

And he thrusted up into him, making George close his eyes.

It was electrifying; he couldn’t see George’s lips, hear his moans but his eyes were telling him enough.

His eyebrows were up in his forehead just barely visible behind his mask, his eyelids fluttering, the black of his iris swallowing the brown of his eyes, a pink colour tinting his cheeks; George looked  _so beautiful_.

“ _Fuck,_  you’re so beautiful,” Josh said in a breathless voice.

The rhythm of his thrusts was building up, and with everyone of them George felt himself behind slammed against the wall and it felt so undeniably good not even Josh’s hand covering his mouth was enough to keep him quiet. His moans came out muffled, barely audible but still driving Josh crazy, making him move faster.

George started thrusting back against him, and soon enough the force of the thrusts was such that George felt like he couldn’t breathe. It was like Josh was stealing his soul right out of his body.

He couldn’t take it.

Gripping Josh’s jacket, George felt his orgasm hit him with such intensity that his vision went black for a second and there were tears in his eyes.

Josh followed right after him, after a couple more thrusts, burying himself deep within George and collapsing right there.

The whole world was suddenly enhanced, every sensation ten times more intense and they were so lightheaded it looked like their feet weren’t on the ground anymore. It was breathtaking.

After a pause in which neither of them was able to make a sound, relishing in the afterglow, George grabbed Josh by the back of his neck and pulled him closer. Their lips crashed together, the passion behind it overwhelming both of them. Then, Josh deepened it, seeking George’s tongue and exploring his mouth.

A moment later, George pulled back, simply staring into Josh’s eyes. He unwrapped his legs from around him, dressing himself again lazily, his eyes not leaving Josh who was actually ready to leave. He took a few steps in the exit’s direction but stopped when George didn’t follow him.

He looked back. There was a curious little glint of curiosity and something more in his eyes as he was left there to button his pants and do his belt. Josh bit his lip and felt his heart swell. Smiling at him, Josh walked back to him, pulling him back against himself by his wrist.

He kissed him again, noticing the smile on George’s face right before their lips sealed, and the flashing look of insecurity that passed his eyes for just a second.

George’s new found confidence suited him extremely well. He was no longer a completely helpless scared little kid – actually, in Josh’s eyes he was quite never one to begin with. George was stronger now, both physically and emotionally – he was sure of himself and whatever he wanted he went after.

There was a new aura around him that left Josh feeling proud. George was a better version of himself, and every day Josh felt himself falling for him all over again.

But then there were little moments like these where his guard fell down and the innocent, hopeful, insecure and caring boy that Josh originally fell in love with was right there before his eyes again. He was still the same person, but he wasn’t as broken now – he was beginning to heal.

His heart skipped a beat in his chest and even if George never asked him to, Josh always felt the need to reassure him.

He let his forehead rest against George’s as his hands worked on tying up his belt.

“I love you,” Josh whispered, his lips brushing against George’s as he talked, “You know that, don’t you?”

George’s hands trailed inside Josh’s jacket, caressing his skin over the white shirt.

“I do,” George said, “I love you, too.”

Josh sighed and his hand curled around George’s neck to pull him close. He kissed his forehead and for a moment just let his lips stay there, his eyes closed. Then, George pulled back slowly.

In his hands he had a necklace. The string was rather simple, but its big yellow stone was heavy in his hand and the whole piece was mesmerizing to look at. He twisted it in his fingers gently, watching how the light reflect in it, creating the most intriguing patterns in the skin of his fingers.

“I think we’ll be very well rewarded for this one,” Josh said, breaking the silence, “It’s one step closer to the big boss.”

George’s eyes were fixed on the yellow diamond.

“It’s one step closer to finding Micky,” he mumbled. Gently, Josh took the necklace off George’s hands, putting it away in the inside pocket of his jacket, “Yes, and  _we will_  find him,” he reassured.

George smiled, “Come on, then, let’s get out of here before they come after us,” Josh said, taking his hand and moving towards the emergency exit at the end of the long corridor.

Suddenly the other door, they had come from opened, and a couple of security guards barged in, shouting “He’s here, we’ve found him! In here!”

Both Josh’s and George’s first reflex was start running towards the door. These weren’t private security guards, they weren’t armed, but the ones they were calling certainly were.

They started running towards them, and Josh had only time to look at George for a second, that devious smile of his back on his face as he ran. Josh dislodged his hand from George’s finding a bunch of old chairs in a corner, “Run and start the bike!” he said, still running.

“Am I supposed to just run away?” George said quickly, hesitating for a second.

“Yeah,” Josh said, kicking the chairs into the ground, “Save yourself,  _Princess,”_ he said with a grin. George was already kicking the door open, and running towards the bike, he jumped on it, wincing slightly in pain, but quickly starting it.

He heard Josh’s footsteps and felt him hop on the bike behind him as he put his helmet on. Almost immediately he heard the distinct sound of car tires squeak and doors closing, amongst shouts and even gunshots.

“For the record,” George said, “ _I’m not_  your fucking  _Princess_.”

And he took off hearing Josh’s laugh, muffled by the helmet and feeling his hands curl around him, pressing his body completely against George’s.

His heart was hammering in his chest and every sensation magnified by the feeling of being alive.

Feeling Josh so close was everything to him, because nothing was certain with Josh. One minute he was here, the next he disappeared. He was unpredictable and he never lingered around people much. George knew that.

Because he knew Josh has always been a wanderer.

He was George’s drug; he was all George had left. He depended on Josh, and he was afraid to lose him. But George also knew that trying to hold on to him was like trying to hold on to dust, nearly impossible, he was too easily lost.

That’s Josh; addicting and hard to grasp.

Like snuff.

Josh’s hands tightened around George’s middle and just like that, all was blown away from his mind. Josh was there,  _holding on to him_.

He wasn’t going anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what your opinions, they mean a lot <3  
> any questions, don't be afraid, ask away, here or at whereshiphappens.tumblr.com/ask :)


End file.
